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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9791732 times)

scriver

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117345 on: November 30, 2019, 02:20:45 pm »

No. It is not impolite to leave your face in a resting position instead of forcing a fake.grin on it.

If it's fake, then you're faking politeness.

And don't be ridiculous. Nobody's talking about any grin, and nobody's talking about walking around with it all the time. That's not how you do it. You give people small smiles to show that you see them and acknowledge them. This is really basic stuff.


I'd wager the scandinavian is playing devils advocate since they're generally not known for being particularly warm in public.

This is not being warm. This is the bare minimum of politeness when interacting with people.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117346 on: November 30, 2019, 02:24:30 pm »

No. It is not impolite to leave your face in a resting position instead of forcing a fake.grin on it.

If it's fake, then you're faking politeness.

And don't be ridiculous. Nobody's talking about any grin, and nobody's talking about walking around with it all the time. That's not how you do it. You give people small smiles to show that you see them and acknowledge them. This is really basic stuff.


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MrRoboto75

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117347 on: November 30, 2019, 03:06:00 pm »

No. It is not impolite to leave your face in a resting position instead of forcing a fake.grin on it.

If it's fake, then you're faking politeness.

And don't be ridiculous. Nobody's talking about any grin, and nobody's talking about walking around with it all the time. That's not how you do it. You give people small smiles to show that you see them and acknowledge them. This is really basic stuff.

You know, most customers don't smile at all.  They just stare at me with their mouth slightly ajar due to the pull of gravity.

But that okay, because a customer is doing it.
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hector13

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117348 on: November 30, 2019, 03:12:30 pm »

No. It is not impolite to leave your face in a resting position instead of forcing a fake.grin on it.

If it's fake, then you're faking politeness.

And don't be ridiculous. Nobody's talking about any grin, and nobody's talking about walking around with it all the time. That's not how you do it. You give people small smiles to show that you see them and acknowledge them. This is really basic stuff.

You know, most customers don't smile at all.  They just stare at me with their mouth slightly ajar due to the pull of gravity.

But that okay, because a customer is doing it.

‘tain’t okay, but you don’t have to lower yourself to that level.

Some people get off on treating retail staff like shit, some people just aren’t very good at dealing with other people, some people are going through shit and don’t have the energy to engage in basic social niceties.

On the other side of the coin, you also get people who go out of their way to engage staff. Not everyone’s an asshole, even if that’s all you remember.
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Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117349 on: November 30, 2019, 03:20:04 pm »

Being nice to people in general is generally a positive notion, I'd say.
Being nice to customers *specifically*, over other people, requires incentive.
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hector13

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117350 on: November 30, 2019, 03:25:32 pm »

Other than the fact their existence means you’re employed? :p

I don’t think it does require more incentive though. It doesn’t take much to listen to someone and try to figure out their problem, or find someone else if you don’t know how.

I may be in a unique position though, since while I work retail, I’m not sales so if I can’t help someone I don’t get any flack for fobbing then off on someone else. I try not to, but I also don’t care enough to learn about the stuff we sell to be useful beyond what I’m expected to do: mainly move boxes off the floor.
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pisskop

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117351 on: November 30, 2019, 03:29:51 pm »

Im usually quite a bit more polite and even in some cases submissive to the average customer than my coworkers or when I am not working.

The average customer just wants a friendly face.  And a quick acting staff.  And there's ways to make them do what you want that dont require direct confrontation.  Even active selling.
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Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117352 on: November 30, 2019, 03:33:09 pm »

@Hector
The employment is the incentive to be nicer to customers than to some rando you're stuck in a line with, yes (:

And to bring this about to someone's earlier point - if that incentive isn't particularly good (for example, if the customer is saving money by going to a store with cheap prices balanced with low wages) then, well, you're not very incentivized.  The company, and the customer by proxy, get what they pay for.

But I think it's healthy to be decent to perfect strangers, I guess.  If I don't feel like engaging a stranger though, sure I'm going to be on my phone instead.  I'll do that unless I have a good enough reason.
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This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

dragdeler

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117353 on: November 30, 2019, 04:08:14 pm »

-
« Last Edit: November 23, 2020, 03:31:24 pm by dragdeler »
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Imic

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117354 on: November 30, 2019, 04:59:57 pm »

I actually don’t know what I’m doing with myself. After spending a very long time in an environment which I associated with buried trauma, it all came out a while back and I’m symptomatic of CPTSD now. I might alwayd have been, but I didn’t have the self confidence to actually tell anyone that there was a problem, and now I’m just sitting here doing nothing, seeing a therapist once a week with the vague idea that I’ll magically find some coping mechanisms to deal with the fact that it physically hurts to watch any kind of drama, real or imagined or playing loudly on a radio next door, to a near crippling degree. I have absolutely nothing to do with myself, and I can’t even pick up and read a book because if two characters disagree I’ll just have to put it down. I live in the middle of nowhere, so I never actually get to speak with anyone, except when enough People agree to have a D&D session, once every two weeks on average. No Games hold any joy for me, I can’t focus enough to play anything more than five minutes. I am incapable of contributing anything to anything. Just sitting here. I actually want to punch the walls.
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117355 on: November 30, 2019, 05:21:26 pm »

Listen; therapy helps. Even when you feel like you're just sitting still, it can still help. Just having someone to talk to, someone you can trust and who understands (to an extent) what you're talking about, is indescribably valuable.

You're on the road to recovery. It's a goddamn funky road that goes all over the damn place, and the speed limit is way lower than you'd like, but you're on it and every step down that path is moving forward. Even the swings.

scriver

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117356 on: November 30, 2019, 05:26:19 pm »

No. It is not impolite to leave your face in a resting position instead of forcing a fake.grin on it.

If it's fake, then you're faking politeness.

And don't be ridiculous. Nobody's talking about any grin, and nobody's talking about walking around with it all the time. That's not how you do it. You give people small smiles to show that you see them and acknowledge them. This is really basic stuff.

You know, most customers don't smile at all.  They just stare at me with their mouth slightly ajar due to the pull of gravity.

But that okay, because a customer is doing it.

Nah, it's rude of them too.

Back when I worked retail I'd say 80-90% of customers smiled at me.
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hector13

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117357 on: November 30, 2019, 07:44:35 pm »

I actually don’t know what I’m doing with myself. After spending a very long time in an environment which I associated with buried trauma, it all came out a while back and I’m symptomatic of CPTSD now. I might alwayd have been, but I didn’t have the self confidence to actually tell anyone that there was a problem, and now I’m just sitting here doing nothing, seeing a therapist once a week with the vague idea that I’ll magically find some coping mechanisms to deal with the fact that it physically hurts to watch any kind of drama, real or imagined or playing loudly on a radio next door, to a near crippling degree. I have absolutely nothing to do with myself, and I can’t even pick up and read a book because if two characters disagree I’ll just have to put it down. I live in the middle of nowhere, so I never actually get to speak with anyone, except when enough People agree to have a D&D session, once every two weeks on average. No Games hold any joy for me, I can’t focus enough to play anything more than five minutes. I am incapable of contributing anything to anything. Just sitting here. I actually want to punch the walls.

As Kagus said, doing something about it is better than not doing something about it.

You won’t magically learn coping mechanisms, it does take effort on your part to get there, but it’s doable, especially with the help of a professional. It won’t happen tomorrow, it will take a long time, but keep at it and it will happen.

Things might look bleak now, but you’ve acknowledged there’s something not right, and you’re taking steps to make it right.
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Arx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117358 on: December 02, 2019, 10:36:28 am »

There is a company doing something I am relatively passionate about, at which I am (at the risk of overstating my case, I guess) very good, and which I do actually enjoy.

Unfortunately, the more I hear about their finances the more I question their ethics. It's hard to motivate myself to work for them for a low salary, with no trimmings to offset it, with the knowledge that there are things going on I disagree with as well.
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Iduno

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117359 on: December 02, 2019, 12:38:28 pm »

It's hard to motivate myself to work for them for a low salary, with no trimmings to offset it

Those are potentially warning signs as well. How do they compare to what people above you get?
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