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[Iduno]

Bad candy has made me sad. It's almost Halloween so mediocre and war crime level candies are everywhere. Today it was circus peanuts, which are like packing peanuts except they taste worse.

Emphasis mine
Unless the candies in question are toxic and therefore used as bioweapons, calling them war crime level is extreme

Have you had circus peanuts?

I was actually specifically referring to circus peanuts and white chocolate with that.

EXCUSE ME.

Taco Bell serves real food, and it is real good.

Taco Bell's recipe:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Eschar]

1. Actual sad/worrying thing: I am not an incel, but it seems I do share many traits with "nice guys"; i.e. the nasty r/nice guys type.
2. I realized this a long time ago, but didn't have a name for it, and didn't try to change it ... nor do I really know how to change it now either.

3. It's almost certainly linked to a general issue with low empathy as well, which I'm also not sure how to resolve.

4.The thing is I know that all these are issues and not okay. I could explain to you perfectly well why each of these things aren't normal. If someone asked me what I believed about each of these topics, I'd hold to the position that these stances (incel-dom, niceguy-ism) on the topics are wrong. But that doesn't help me in actually resolving them.

Again: pointers?

If you want advice for that, you need to be more specific. What kind of "nice guy" are you? Example:

When you act "nice" to women and they don't end up liking you, do you:

A) accept it and move on
B) Silently resent them for not appreciating you
C) Send them angry texts about how they're dumb bitches who don't know what they're  missing

The distinction isn't just an issue of gauging severity. The kind of nice guy who answers C is usually quite different from the nice guy that answers B. Sometimes specific women really are bitches and in that case answering A would be the wrong choice since that would make you a doormat and also the kind of person who is vulnerable to entering abusive relationships. As a man, you've gotta balance treating others with respect with treating yourself with respect (among other things).

Please talk more about this, actually. I've been dealing with these kinds of issues for many years so I'm sure I've got a few useful tips.

"B.2" maybe since I don't resent them, but not A since I tend to hang around obnoxiously rather than move on. I try not to resent people since I know I'm not good at gauging their motives/perspective. Definitely not C, but I think it is a mindset I could easily fall into.

-snip-

Can I recommend the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover? I honestly really love it.

Thanks, I'll try to find it.

[Reelya]

(try archive.org)

[MrRoboto75]

I'm tired of people asking me to smile more.  It never fails to make the day even worse.

[CABL]

Same. Just because I don't smile constantly doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood. In fact, I've read somewhere that frowning uses more facial muscles than smiling, so yeah, my facial muscles won't degrade anytime soon.

[Naturegirl1999]

I actually think holding a smile is more tiring than holding a neutral expression. I tend not to frown a lot, but do keep my face neutral a lot, which may appear like a frown to some people.

[ChairmanPoo]

[Yoink]

For some reason I stayed up ridiculously late for no good reason and now I'm in bed but too hungry to sleep. It's 5am, at this point I might as well just give up on sleep.

I'd rather not be crashing about in the kitchen noisily making food at this hour, though. Damnit, why did I eat all my junk food already?! I guess I could always have a bowl of cereal...

[dragdeler]

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[dragdeler]

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[Magistrum]

footage of the crime

I am so confused.

[wierd]

Some plastic bloke made a nice romantic fire at the beach, and gets subsequently clubbed relentlessly by a mean plastic she-cop--With further brutality AFTER she handcuffs him.

[Reelya]

Look more closely, that's the cop collapsed at the end. The crim managed to disarm the cop and get the upper hand.

[ChairmanPoo]

I think I'm figuring out the problem: wherever I've ended up in a medium-to-large department (in my country or elsewhere) it has turned out that the people there are already lined up for the nice things, and they aren't really willing to share. I'm expected to play the role of a workhorse, period, with nothing that I'd regard as special for me to do.  Only... I'm single and have no real expenses or reason to stay in one place, and there are not that many people around able to do even the normal "workhorse" stuff that I do, so there is no paucity of work as long as I'm willing to move.

The way I see things these guys will probably fall short of their promises just like the previous ones did (probably in a more  polite way though), and while I'm not bad off right now, I'm not specially happy either. Odds are that sometime next year I'll go elsewhere (it may happen sooner if they do something that annoys me, later if they throw a bone my way). 

I think the funny thing is that I tend to be very frank about what I do and what I expect, but apparently people  think I'm full of shit and that I'll basically settle for  whatever they decide to give me in the end (I have my own theories as to why, which spin around how  they usually treat people and how it works out).  As it turns out they're wrong. I'm single, I have no significant expenses, and I can afford both to move around and to stay unemployed if nothing convinces me.

Right now I'm not uncomfortable, because I have good work hours, good weather and tbh my current activity is rather simplistic compared to what I'm used to. But I'm not doing what I came to do and I'm pretty f*ing far away from home  As soon as something more interesting pops up back home, or the HSE hiring freeze ends, or they simply annoy me beyond my tolerance threshold, I'm hitting the road

[Ulfarr]

Why would your employers invest in you, giving you the position/wage that you want when you might just leave in a heartbeat?

This might be a bit too much of a simplistic view on your work situation, especially since I don't know how things work in your field, but it seems like you're creating a catch-22 situation for yourself. I know just a handful of people that have had to do any sort of HR management but they all agreed on viewing disfavorably those that had changed jobs too many times in a short period.