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[dragdeler]

-snip-

[Jopax]

TFW you're working trough some issues and the only person you'd be able to talk to about them is the main cause of said issues, but not in a way where talking with them would change the situation in any way as the deed that caused the issues has been done so you're left with trying to figure out how to process the whole thing without any previous experiences being relevant to it :V

[JoshuaFH]

I've been trying to avoid making any more sad posts, but I guess I'll make a small one: I've been contemplating both seeing a therapist again, and switching to a new one. I stopped in the first place because just something about going to a therapist just ruins my day, no matter what mood I was in, it's replaced with navel gazing depression. Swit... I'm a dumbass.


I just realized that my actions in this regard are totally futile. I just want someone to talk to, that doesn't make me feel like a psychotic headcase simply by being in their presence, that won't just cart out the same predictable responses and talking points, and won't just peddle shitty medication to me.

This is basically an impossible mixture of things I'm asking for. I'm going to bed now I guess.

[hector13]

If your current(?) therapist makes you feel like that, then it’s probably a good idea to find a new one.

[LordBaal]

People often focus on survival when submitted to dangerously situations and under pressure.

I was raised by a very taciturn old man and was taught to be practical by all means all the time. My grandfather, being an orphan at early age raised on a farm also, taught me a lot of things that today make my life a tad more tolerable, mostly food related.

I consider myself very practical and goal orientated, my main goal being keeping us alive and as health as we can until we can get out of here, this means long hours of work, tedious errands, hours of queues, staying up late and waking before the sun comes out, home labors...

You might recognize most of this as that thing we call being a grown up, only with an added difficulty, but life ain't easy, I've been told this since I can recall, and I can't really complain, people have harder times than me everywhere.

But somewhere among this survival mode and my austerity there seems to be something missing. And my wife brought this to attention today. What's life if you don't really enjoy it? Truly enjoy it? I do appreciate it but as today I don't find myself really enjoying it. As difficulties pile on and things add up while you squeeze the resources at hand its harder and harder to do it.

She's not happy with me right now because my austerities come across as coarse or spite even. No, I don't mistreat her in any way, I do cherish her, and show lots of affection but she's worries about me and all this is doing it to me.

[Dunamisdeos]

I'd normally recommend getting something fancy that will last a while. Some kind of patterned dishes that my wife gets to pick out would work for my wife, for instance. I know in your situation this might not be specifically possible, but the idea is to get something considered "fancy" that she can look at/use for some time to come. A regular reminder as it were.

[Kagus]

You know how some folks have "resting bitch face"? Sounds like you've just got "working my ass off bitch face". It's perfectly normal and understandable, you're under an immense amount of pressure and trying as hard as you can to help you and your family get through this in one piece. You're stuck in work mode, because if I'd hazard a guess that's pretty much what's keeping you sane at this point.

It just sounds like she's worried about you, and that she has a different way of coping than you do. Tell her that you love her, that she's still very much a part of your life, and this is just your way of dealing with it.

It's like the breathing exercises when giving birth... If you start breathing like that at a pleasant dinner, it'll seem a bit strange, but it helps when you need it to get through a hard patch.

You're not stuck like this, you've got your eyes on the prize; a life away from all the poverty and bullshit currently surrounding you... You're just breathing a bit harder while marching forward towards that goal.


And you don't need anything fancy to give her, she just wants to know that she'll be beside you on the finish line. Something as simple as a flower you found or a trinket you made for her can mean just as much, just to show that you think of her.

[JoshuaFH]

If your current(?) therapist makes you feel like that, then it’s probably a good idea to find a new one.

I don't want to come across as being irrational, cause that's how I see myself lately, just fucking irrational, but what I was trying to say wasn't that it was my therapist making me feel that way, it was myself making me feel that way about seeing a therapist. I don't know how to resolve this situation, it seems unresolvable.

I'll be 30 in a couple months, but it feels more and more like my life is coming to a close. This fucking ride is stupid, I want to get off.

[Il Palazzo]

Hey, man. Hang on. Sometime after 30 you gradually just stop caring about shit. And it's liberating.

[TD1]

Youth is exhausting, but everything after is a gradual easing into the grave.

[Il Palazzo]

You're saying it like it's a bad thing.

[TD1]

Eternal slumber befits none, and all who tread that path seek, seek with a pale shadow of the zest of life, the brush of Charming's awakening kiss.

Do not go gentle into that good night;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[Il Palazzo]

Well, that's, like, just your opinion, man.

[TD1]

Mine and Jesus', friend.

Mine and Jesus'.

[Il Palazzo]

Yeah, I know Jesus Quintana. What a piece of work.