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[TD1]

Also, I could insert some Guardians of the Galaxy style Destroyer wisdom here.

[JoshuaFH]

Sometimes I wish I had it in me to be religious instead of atheistic. There's just so many days that I want to apologize to some grander authority that has the power to forgive, just so I can finally stop obsessing over my perceived wrongdoing. Like today, I know for a fact that I *technically* didn't do anything wrong, but I can't help but feel that I'm an idiot loser that is both a drain on society and a waste of life, and I just want to say I'm sorry to somebody, fucking anybody, but there's nobody to even sanely appeal to because noone is in that ideal seat of power, whose forgiveness would matter. I just gotta suck it up and let it burn in my stomach I guess.

[Jopax]

Got woken up super early today, most probably by the rather bright snow cloud filled sky, entire day afterwards I've had this really strong feeling of anticipation or apprehension for something, and I'm not sure what. It's making me incredibly nervous and I can't for the life of me figure out the cause. It's really wierd since I got some nice news this morning and you'd think that'd be enough to offset baseless worry but here I am nonetheless :V

[dragdeler]

-snip-

[Sirus]

Oh dang. The Nicest Place on the Internet got shut down :c

[scriver]

Oh dang. The Nicest Place on the Internet got shut down :c

We're still here I think?

[SalmonGod]

Turning 35 in a couple months.  Solidly invested in the career I'm in.  Too dependent on what I'm making now, and any skills that I might have used to get started in anything else have languished.  I've bought a house.  A sense of being doomed to stasis has been creeping in on me the last several months.  Maybe I'll be able to find ways to do different things with my life in 10 years when my kids have reached adulthood.  But by that time I'll be 45.

And it's depressing.  But I can deal with that... on a conscious level.  I'm mature enough to know that reality doesn't revolve around me.  I take some pride in having so far carved out a place in it, even if it's not what I want.  I'm not like... **depressed** in an intense, painful way...

What I'm struggling with is motivation.  I've powered through so much shit in the past, because I always felt like it was temporary or in pursuit of something.  What I'm doing now... isn't temporary... and it's not going anywhere that I look forward to...

I'm finding myself uninspired to solve problems that I would have easily killed in the past.  Wasting lots of time glancing at social media instead of focusing on getting things done.  It's causing me to low simmer on work 24/7, instead of knocking it out so I can have moments of freedom.

Feels like I'm spiritually checking out in a way that I never have before.

[Grim Portent]

My smallest goldfish is sick. Looks like a bacterial infection and one of his eyes has gone milky so he'll probably lose it even if he survives. Poor thing is sitting on the tank floor huddled against a plant and some bogwood.

Reminds me of the way our chickens would just hunch up and shiver when they got ill and were about to die, and my lizard shortly before he passed. 

[Gentlefish]

Turning 35 in a couple months.  Solidly invested in the career I'm in.  Too dependent on what I'm making now, and any skills that I might have used to get started in anything else have languished.  I've bought a house.  A sense of being doomed to stasis has been creeping in on me the last several months.  Maybe I'll be able to find ways to do different things with my life in 10 years when my kids have reached adulthood.  But by that time I'll be 45.

And it's depressing.  But I can deal with that... on a conscious level.  I'm mature enough to know that reality doesn't revolve around me.  I take some pride in having so far carved out a place in it, even if it's not what I want.  I'm not like... **depressed** in an intense, painful way...

What I'm struggling with is motivation.  I've powered through so much shit in the past, because I always felt like it was temporary or in pursuit of something.  What I'm doing now... isn't temporary... and it's not going anywhere that I look forward to...

I'm finding myself uninspired to solve problems that I would have easily killed in the past.  Wasting lots of time glancing at social media instead of focusing on getting things done.  It's causing me to low simmer on work 24/7, instead of knocking it out so I can have moments of freedom.

Feels like I'm spiritually checking out in a way that I never have before.

If it's any consolation, my father graduated college in his 60's. Before that he spent 10-20 years in construction, solidly invested, before becoming a dispatcher after a series of accidents, then taking the plunge into the academy to be a police officer in his 40's.

Nothing is set in stone, 10 years is a long time. A lot can happen between now and then my friend.

[martinuzz]

My ISP has been having troubles for the past few days. My internet is fine, mind you.
But they also provide my landline phone connection, which is crucial to a mobile phone-refuser like me.
For a few days now, most incoming and outgoing calls end in me pickinng up and not hearing anything, and the phone ringing once on the other side and then silence, respectively.

I almost feel like I need to get a mobile phone now, as a backup for when the landline fails in emergencies.
Sad. I tossed it out 8 years ago and never regretted exiting the world of 24/7 availability.

O tempora, o mores. Landline phone used to be the reliable thing.

[Spehss _]

Been sick the last couple of days. Some kind of sinus infection. Went to the doctor for meds, working on that now. Most shitty part of this bug I caught is that if I lay down, like to go to sleep, in about 20 minutes I'm forced awake due to an incessant coughing fit. Coughing fit so bad I'm left sweating by the end. And I just can't keep laying down or I'll keep coughing all night and get no sleep other than that brief 20 minutes. The last couple nights have been semi-lucid hellscapes of half-awake nightmares and constant fits of coughing. My voice is shot to hell from all the deep throaty dry coughs. I can barely talk.

The lack of sleep is awful. Think I'm getting into the weird zone of sleep deprivation now, with weird physical sensations and hallucinations.

Sometimes I wish I had it in me to be religious instead of atheistic.

isn't that just a choice though? Choosing whether to believe in a religion or not?

[Rose]

Sometimes I wish I had it in me to be religious instead of atheistic.

isn't that just a choice though? Choosing whether to believe in a religion or not?

Not necessarily. If it's not something you believe, trying to pretend that you do just feels like lying to oneself.

[Rolan7]

Sometimes I wish I had it in me to be religious instead of atheistic.

isn't that just a choice though? Choosing whether to believe in a religion or not?

Not necessarily. If it's not something you believe, trying to pretend that you do just feels like lying to oneself.

I have echoed OP's sentiment on multiple occasions.  No, it's not a choice, any more than believing in Russel's Teapot (a teapot in solar orbit, too far from us to observe).  Or any of the other gods people have come up with.

If you see a hundred options and none of them make sense, it's not that you're choosing not to know the truth.  You're stuck with the horrifying reality that ultimate truth isn't evident, yet, to humanity.

Beholding a lack of purpose is not a survival trait, and coincidentally, it's something we're ill-equipped for.

[Telgin]

I can kind of sympathize, since I've been struggling for the last year or two with feeling like I have no purpose.  Ever since I finished my Ph.D, I've felt like I've had a huge void in my life: a goal and purpose.  Religion kind of fills that void for a lot of people.

I've tried filling it with hobbies and personal projects, but that kind of just leads to me realizing that I want to make grand and fantastic things, but the reality is that it's too much for one person to handle.  Case in point: I've spent the last 15 months working on a computer game when I have time, only to have a few minutes of gameplay done.  A lot of that time was spent learning Unreal 4 and building systems to build on top of, but the realization that a single person could spend 10 years working on a game nowhere near AAA quality is kind of depressing.

I'm only 30, but if I didn't know better I'd say this was a mid life crisis of sorts.  I feel like if I'm not making a lasting impact of some kind, my life is wasted.

The sad thing is that I really, really can't complain about my life otherwise.  It's such a bizarre feeling and thought process, when I'm being introspective about it.

[SalmonGod]

I'm so the opposite of you guys on this point.  The idea of having some "purpose" that is imposed on me by the existence of a higher power sounds stifling.  I would naturally want to resist it.  And I don't understand what the difference would be between having a purpose granted to you by a deity vs any human being or organization imposing behavior on you.  I can work for a business that expects me to see my work for them as my purpose in life.  Their expectation doesn't invalidate my ability to decide for myself whether I want to fully absorb that, or continue to be an individual whose path and purpose are not synonymous with a corporate mission statement.  Same for being part of some god's plan.  If god's plan is some mysterious thing that is never communicated to me, then it doesn't even do any good.  The idea can be completely ignored.  It becomes his problem if he wants to handle it that way to see that I fit into his plan, as I go about my business oblivious as to whether I'm doing the right thing or not.  Telling me that I'm part of a plan but I don't need to know what it is is basically telling me I can do whatever I want.  So if that's how it is, how does believing whether a god exists even help?