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[JoshuaFH]

My apologies - I didn't mean Save the Children should have stayed away (though I remain somewhat sceptical as to how charities deal with funds, but that's beside the point). I meant that future military involvement in Afghanistan does not sounds like a good idea. I believe we've stuck our army-oar into the Middle East once too many. (Or ten too many).

I can't help but agree. It seems that literally nothing can go on anywhere in the world without the US interfering. I think it goes under the guise of 'self-defense' or as attacking hostile forces at the very least, but I think the truth of it is simple enforcement of American interest, or worse, debased hunting of advertised 'enemies' as a way to make it seem our government is actually doing something productive and for elected officials to artificially boost their own popularity by attacking the 'bad guys' thereby making themselves look like 'good guys'. That there's a front for wanting to 'end terrorism for good' but in reality I think there's a real incentive to keep the war on terror going forever, and that whatever damage is done to the middle east in the meantime is ignored and deemed irrelevant by the US government.

[Gentlefish]

Yeah. Most of this is blowback from the destabilization of the area during the cold war I think. Honestly we should be working to allow the people to defend themselves and whatever government they wish to set up whether we like it or not. It's not our place to decide what's best for anyone but us.

[Rolan7]

The USA is powerful AND willing to help, that's why the UN expects us to help out.  Largely financially, also militarily.
How convenient that we also get to take the blame for everything.  Either for not helping enough, or making mistakes.

To be fair, I was intentionally questioning the line between charity organizations and peacekeeping forces.  It's all interference.  It's obvious with religious charity, but even things like teaching women to read is done with agenda.  It's "cultural erasure" and inevitable regime change, just slower than a coup.  And I'm fine with it - just like I'm fine with trying to bring security to war-torn areas.  The UN does peacekeeping too, you know?

Though we did hurt a lot of people during the Cold War, in order to stop "Communism" which was also hurting people.

[LordBaal]

My father in law just passed away. Turn out  two months was overly optimistic.

[Doomblade187]

I wish his soul a safe journey.

[MrRoboto75]

I don't know why I bothered with online dating.  Nobody even looks at my profile, and all the messages I send just go ignored.  There's just something wrong with me I can't fix.  I'm worth nothing.

[hector13]

I don't know why I bothered with online dating.  Nobody even looks at my profile, and all the messages I send just go ignored.  There's just something wrong with me I can't fix.  I'm worth nothing.

The only thing wrong with you is that you are so fascinating. People are too intimidated to respond to your messages because they fear they won't match up to your spectacular-ness.

[MrRoboto75]

I don't know why I bothered with online dating.  Nobody even looks at my profile, and all the messages I send just go ignored.  There's just something wrong with me I can't fix.  I'm worth nothing.

The only thing wrong with you is that you are so fascinating. People are too intimidated to respond to your messages because they fear they won't match up to your spectacular-ness.

That's completely wrong.  Its a fucking miracle when people even notice me at all anymore.  The only fascinating thing is how someone could be this repulsive.

[TD1]

It's quite probable that the people you were sending messages to didn't like the look of you. That is online dating's thing - bling over substance.

In real-life interactions, I daresay it's not solely how you look which influences rejection/overlooking. Dress well, shower regularly; these are musts, but so is self respect. How can you expect someone to like you if you don't like yourself?

It's probably not what you want to hear, and you may even believe you are not capable of it (which I would have to disagree with), but if you want people to notice you then you have to put a certain amount of effort into yourself.

[MrRoboto75]

It's quite probable that the people you were sending messages to didn't like the look of you. That is online dating's thing - bling over substance.

In real-life interactions, I daresay it's not solely how you look which influences rejection/overlooking. Dress well, shower regularly; these are musts, but so is self respect. How can you expect someone to like you if you don't like yourself?

It's probably not what you want to hear, and you may even believe you are not capable of it (which I would have to disagree with), but if you want people to notice you then you have to put a certain amount of effort into yourself.

Its impossible.  I can put all the effort in I want but at the end of the day everyone is still better than me and more desirable.  Confidence would just be a paper thin facade that conceals how little value I offer to anything.

I'm flawed and I can't be fixed.

[hector13]

Catastrophic thinking. “Everything is bad and it won’t get better.”

Particularly bad when what you’re trying to fix (other’s view of you) is something you cannot possibly see changing.

The thing you do need to fix, though, is what Dwarfy said: you need to like you. There are resources out there for CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) online that can help you stop thinking so poorly about yourself, though I’m waiting in my car for my wife right now so can’t direct you to ‘em. You also need to want them to work for them to be any use, and also be willing to put in the effort.

Anyhow, Dwarfy and I clearly think you have some value, else we wouldn’t take the effort to help you. You can think we’re wrong in that, but if you’ll excuse me, you’ve shown you have fucking awful judgment so far

[TD1]

I'm not demanding you be artificially confident. More that you find something about yourself you like, and work on it. If you can't find something, then start something; jog, do jigsaws, volunteer somewhere. Whatever, so long as it's fulfilling. Once you find something in yourself to respect, confidence ought not be far behind.

I'd also not focus on getting attention (whether from the opposite sex or not) as the end goal. More a side-bonus.

[MrRoboto75]

I barely even feel like a person anymore.  I barely connect with people and I always end up doing the wrong thing.

I am going to therapy but its constantly books so appointments are uncommon and everything in my life tries to prevent me from going anyway.  Either I'm too sick or work needs me or there's some winter bullshit going on outside.

And everything has been bad for nearly a decade and hasn't gotten any better.  The more things I change the more they stay the same.

[EnigmaticHat]

Are your appointments getting canceled?  Because most therapists will try to set you up with a consistent appointment every week and you don't need to talk about it unless something stops you from going.  And even then, my therapist uses an app to do sessions over the phone if one of us can't make it in.

[MrRoboto75]

Are your appointments getting canceled?  Because most therapists will try to set you up with a consistent appointment every week and you don't need to talk about it unless something stops you from going.  And even then, my therapist uses an app to do sessions over the phone if one of us can't make it in.

They end up being less than weekly because she has no available time before that.  And then something random gets in the way so I have to worry about rescheduling and pushing it back more and more.