Presently in a funk.
Don't know if it's because my girlfriend refused to deal with the issues when I tried to talk to her about it because the only time we had to speak about it in person, she was too tired to do anything... Including reciprocating an "I love you"...
Or the fact I've been working every day since Sunday and I'm still going at it tomorrow. And because of this, I've had no time to hang out with my friends, and you know, I hate feeling this way, but I always feel jealous when my friends decide to do stuff without me but tell me about it... Like it's completely unintentional; they're in a group chat. And I understand they want to do something because everyone is available. But it doesn't get rid of the feeling of "fuck, I missed out on fun"...
Hopefully going to have time to talk about what the deal is with my girlfriend tomorrow, since it's her day off. I'm just hoping she doesn't shrug it off like the previous time before I last saw her where she just ignored what I said. For those wondering "why can't you just talk to her in person?" Well, see my second thought on why I may be in a funk. Plus, she said she's willing to talk about it over text, and while I'm not keen on this, I think it's my only option.
I'm really hoping to mend this problem. And again, I don't know if I'm doing things wrong because things she was ok with before, she's not now, or if something is going on in her life and she just needs some time. Regardless, she isn't saying anything about anything... Except that when I brought up the "you tell me you want X but don't want me to do that, or you don't want Y but now you do", she said, in regards to the cuddling with a pillow instead of me but saying all she's comfortable with is cuddling, is that she isn't comfortable with human contact as it gives her anxiety.
Never before has this been brought up... Especially since she usually instigates the cuddling... So at this point, I REALLY have no idea what she wants...
Just kind of rambling my thoughts like I'm at a rehab meeting again because, as stated before, I can't get to one because I'm so busy...
Also, to everyone who commented on my post, I think I needed the push to talk to her about it and I appreciate it