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[misko27]

I've given up on my memory. I just write things down that I don't want to be forgotten.

[highmax28]

I am at a loss.

My girlfriend has been telling me contradicting things over and over and I don't know what she wants of me anymore.

She wants me to talk to her or she'll have a nervous breakdown but she tones me out (she told me this) or tells me to just be there. She wants to spend time together but everything I brought up (walking, bike riding, movies, etc) she says we can't talk to one another (even though she tells me it's ok if I'm just there). She tells me she loves physical interactions (ie, hugs, cuddling, etc) but she pushes me away when I try and hug her and says she doesn't like physical interaction. She doesn't want me to tell her I love her at all anymore because she doesn't want to feel like it doesn't mean anything (she was ok with it about a month ago and she responded back in kind, but suddenly just stopped and told me to stop).

I seriously don't know what to do anymore, and she refuses to work with me on this. I literally just want to know what she wants me to do, if I'm doing things wrong, or if this is her way of saying "it's over". It doesn't help that she refuses to communicate with me on things, for whatever reason why. I understand she's introverted, but when I see her once every two weeks to a month because of work and school (I just finished college, so now it's just work) and she outright refuses to even TALK to me to even tell me how her week is? It's gotten so bad with it that she recently just dropped off the radar for a week, told me nothing about it, and then came back like it was nothing. Here I am, worried to death because she tells me when I don't text her at least once a day, she panics. So my thoughts are "if she freaks out when I don't talk to her, God only knows what's going on when SHE doesn't answer". And all it was is she had a right couple days at work and wanted to be left alone. Again, she's introverted, and j get that, but not only not telling me that was what happened, but when I bring it up, she says NOTHING about it until two days later when we get into an argument because I outright asked her "what happened that week because you just didn't say anything", which proceeded to anger her, as if I was supposed to already know.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do, I don't know what she wants me to do, and she only seems to be getting more and more upset. Today she freaked out on me because I made a mention that I didn't print out my D&D character sheet and it was a good thing because I would've lost it since I'm not gonna need it for tomorrow since I'm DMing, and she took it as a personal attack because she wanted to DM. And then she says how much she hates doing this, and how much it stresses her out, and I told her don't do it if it's that bad.

She proceeds to get super upset and now she refuses to talk to me. And I have to drive an hour with her to and from kingsville for D&D while she tones me out the whole ride wearing headphones or just flat out ignoring me like she claims she does on a regular basis...

I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm not asking for advice, I'm here to just rant and talk about my feelings on this because I'm not able to get into a rehab meeting for a while...

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugs highmax*

[scriver]

Being "an introvert" is no way an excise for shitty behaviour.

I know you said you didn't want advise but I'm going to say two things anyway: Firstly, say this to her instead of us if your meeting group (write a letter if she doesn't want to talk); and secondly, remember that being in a relationship where you feel you can do nothing right is very bad for your health and self esteem, and everyone deserves better than that.

[hector13]

I second that. I'm an introvert too and require time to myself, but a relationship is a two-way street. Ypu need to let her know this is how you feel, or it won't improve.

[martinuzz]

I second that. I'm an introvert too and require time to myself, but a relationship is a two-way street. Ypu need to let her know this is how you feel, or it won't improve.

Yep, this. Tell her what you told us. If it doesn't improve her behaviour, tough as it may sound, dump her. I wouldn't want a girlfriend who plays with my feelings like that anyhow. Those usually are the bad kind of girlfriends.

[Yoink]

Good luck, Highmax, hope things work out well for you.

Spoiler: Probably disinteresting rant about problems with local music scene (click to show/hide)

My Sad: the main/only touring company responsible for bringing international doom bands to Australia seems to be run by a bunch of cucks. Hell, the whole scene seems to be full of cucks half the time. These people are so disgusting that I've had to stoop to using the word "cuck" just in an attempt to succinctly describe the full magnitude of their lameness, and I hate them all the more for it.
   
I think I'm going to wash this unpleasant taste from my mouth with some death metal. Although shit, one of the biggest (if not the biggest, at least if you don't include shitty tech-death in the equation) death metal bands in the country also present themselves on social media as a bunch of huge, blathering cucks. At least their music was mediocre to begin with. And the single most brutal, most horrifyingly offensive Australian death metal band had a major show at one of the main "underground" venues in the city cancelled due to the cuck hivemind threatening to boycott the place.

Said venue is now, in my mind, so un-metal that it might as well have a bright pink sign, pastel decor and nothing but cider on tap.
Yet, so very many metal shows are still put on there for some reason. Ugh. At least I can feel massively superior to these formerly-cool lamewads in the bands who still play shows at such a garbage venue when they should be boycotting it. That's a silver lining, right? Right? Man, I remember when this city's metal scene seemed like such a huge selling point.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I had an excellent ride last night. My mystery allergy was set off while I was sleeping for once, leaving me to wake up to a cascading full-body rash and general suffering from system dysfunction. I also was very delirious due to the combination of this with sleep - my mind kept racing off on its own down the plot of my dream even once I was awake.

This was a particularly nasty episode, I've still got some rash marks and sore joints even now, and it's been a good 15 hours since then. Still got no idea what the allergen could be.

[mastahcheese]

"Mentally exhausted" is probably an understatement for me right now.

Today's highlights include the fact that all of my cats are still alive, contrary to what I was expecting earlier, and the fact that the relatives that showed up unannounced did not burn down the house (last time they tried).

Those were probably the worst two. The questionable legality of cutting down trees with bird nests still in it were discussed with people, and I drove a detached nest with 4 unhatched eggs to the local bird shelter afterwards because I had no clue what else to do. I hope they're ok.

Actually, the relatives I knew were coming down (and had expected would be stressful) turned out to be surprisingly relaxing.

This day was too long.

But anyway. I wish you luck and eloquence, highmax.

[Trapezohedron]

I don't feel real anymore.

This is the culmination of months and hours' worth of emotional abuse received from customers for the company I work. Each day is an incredibly tedious and slow trudge trying to end calls as fast as can be while maintaining all the other metrics, as I gasp and gag literally for air, usually feeling nauseous due to anxiety issues.

I've just gotten regularized yesterday and I'm also on my halfway mark. I am largely considering leaving the company and recuperating mentally as I often have small bouts of PTSD reading stories of employee abuse by customer, regardless of how justified they are.

But, this being my first job and also conscious of how it will reflect on the status of future-me, I don't think I should leave too soon. But it's killing me and somehow making me consider adderall, just to feel enthusiastic in a steel-gray airconditioned mental sweatshop and to cope

Hell, I don't even want to be paid anymore. But I'm at a loss if I should be typing down my resignation letter.

I am not sure at all...

[itisnotlogical]

It is 1 AM. I am tired of being kept up this late by people who do not have any timely responsibilities, who receive a regular check for the sake of breathing and having a mailbox. It's like a foreign concept that some people have to be awake at certain hours to be at certain places, either for money, or for a degree and the vague promise of future money. And I have to be up from two to four hours earlier than that, because the bus driver is the only reliably helpful person in my life. There's been a lot of promising but no actual help towards getting me my damn license, nobody cares that it's really shameful and embarassing to me and inconvenient for everybody else.

It's struck me a lot lately that my life is really unimportant to anybody besides me. Daily I have more "conversations" by sending a meme on Facebook and getting a lol back than I do face to face with another human. Fuck I need to sleep, I'll be fine in the morning once I'm distracted with being alive. Just before bed seems to be prime sulking time for me.

[Eric Blank]

Woke up this morning to find a house covered in dog shit and piss. Because the goddamn dogs didnt want to go outside before bedtime. Now i have to clean up after them, they get to stand in the rain and be lazy assholes outside. I swear theyre all house trained, they just somehow forgot it in favor of refusing to go out at night. I should have dragged them all out by hand, but theyre so fucking heavy.

I am so angry right now i dont even know what the fuck to do

[Imic]

I'm loud and annoying. I'm not fat, my life is good, I have a good job, but I'm loud and annoying and I have an internal crisis about it more or less every day.

[Arx]

Dealing with suicidal people is hard.

[Rose]

I made banana cake, but didn't bake it long enough, so the middle was dense and gooey.