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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9760970 times)

Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110325 on: March 08, 2017, 12:22:15 am »

I've had a few very decent conversations with my, ex.  We're back to being friends again, like so many years ago.
And... it's occasionally hard not to throw myself at him.  The very thought...
Not this time, though, not this time.

The conversations we have are so bittersweet.  I enjoy them, but he makes so many innuendoes, and it's so tempting to play off them...  <sometimes I even do> but... no.  Dammit...
Storms, give me strength!
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This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

misko27

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110326 on: March 08, 2017, 12:49:57 am »

My ex has taken to avoiding me, apparently, which I am perfectly ok with. I did want to stay friends actually, but if it makes them uncomfortable they can do whatever they want. I'm kind of impressed at how much I don't care, actually. I think everyone else expected me to be super uncomfortable (and some people have told me as much), but I had a whole summer to get over it... and I just, did. I mean, you would think someone deeply depressed would have a problem, especially when the other person broke up, but honestly I just moved on. It helped that I had already been considering various potential reasons to break up, but I was still pretty broken up about it at the time.

But then I just moved on! Weird. Why can't I do that about anything else? I'm still beating myself up for not doing domething I didn't want to do and decided against, but this is the thing I find easy? I mean, cool, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Felissan

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110327 on: March 08, 2017, 05:20:40 am »

Spoiler: Don't quote (click to show/hide)
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Spehss _

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110328 on: March 08, 2017, 07:15:58 pm »

I'm so lonely. But I hate interacting with people. I'm so introverted that going out and doing anything in public is draining. I'm so bad at talking with people that I don't know how to meet people even if given the opportunity. I can't open up to people or trust people.

I don't know how I'm supposed to accomplish anything meaningful in life when I'm so bad at human interaction. Jobs require people skills. Friendships require people skills. Family requires people skills.
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TheDarkStar

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110329 on: March 08, 2017, 07:37:40 pm »

I'm so lonely. But I hate interacting with people. I'm so introverted that going out and doing anything in public is draining. I'm so bad at talking with people that I don't know how to meet people even if given the opportunity. I can't open up to people or trust people.

I don't know how I'm supposed to accomplish anything meaningful in life when I'm so bad at human interaction. Jobs require people skills. Friendships require people skills. Family requires people skills.

I know how that feels. I've spent a considerable amount of effort over the last few months doing my best to overcome my own lack of people skills. One thing that helped was realizing that if I tried to talk to someone and it went badly, odds are I wouldn't see them again (or at least I could easily avoid them). If it went well, I might see them again and then I would kind of have a friend. I also started trying to just find opportunities to end up in the company of others/end up around others (examples: concerts, clubs, school if applicable, etc. Basically try to find somewhere where you can relate to people there, even if it's just a little bit). Even if I didn't actually say anything, watching the way people interacted was a really valuable experience because it gave me a model of how I should act. It's also much easier to talk to people if there's a group of people because everyone can contribute a little bit to a conversation rather than you just talking to one person where you have to supply roughly half of the conversation.

One of the most interesting things I noticed was that I was more successful in connecting with other people if I didn't focus on myself as much and tried to focus on other people more. I also learned that most people have just as many concerns about talking to new people as I do. Finally, it did take a lot of practice (and calculated but ambitious risk-taking). Six months ago, I had trouble looking at people while talking to them (I still do, but I can maintain eye contact or something close to it for long enough that people don't notice it much) and I didn't have any good friends (basically, I had lots of people that knew who I was but none that I could talk to about anything even remotely serious; eventually, I started drifting away from a lot of those people and I was fairly lonely) but I kept trying to find some people that I could relate to and who shared my same interests. Currently, I actually do have some good friends and I've learned to keep up a conversation most of the time, and it's because of the time I've had to observe other's interactions and because I asked people about social stuff that I was having trouble with.

So basically, don't give up and don't stop trying to learn to interact with people. It's fine if you're introverted (which is not the same thing as being shy) - I'm extremely introverted and sometimes I have to spend hours of time on my own and I've been able to slowly learn how to interact with people. Mostly, you need to expand the range of circumstances with which you feel comfortable. It will take effort and time and you might not always be successful, but you can do it.
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Shook

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110330 on: March 08, 2017, 08:20:28 pm »

Alas, the only way to get people skills is to not shy away from interactions. I am most definitely guilty of doing that, and i'm not the most socially adept person either, but... I'm starting to learn that other people can have a lot to offer. I'm still cripplingly anxious about revealing what's going on behind the curtain that is my skull (fun fact: even includes my immediate family and best friends), but thankfully, you don't need to tell everyone in order to have a conversation or play games with them. Even if you want to say no, try saying yes every once in a while. If nothing else, you can always back out again if it becomes overwhelming; i've found people to be surprisingly respectful of that, and people who deal with the same can even understand it. In fact, from what i've experienced, outgoing people tend to be a bit curious about the less outgoing ones, because after all, the latter tends toward solitude and not talking a lot, thus leaving much shrouded in mystery. I guess i'd be curious too.
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SalmonGod

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110331 on: March 09, 2017, 12:55:01 am »

All I do is work.  Ask for nothing in return but leniency as I deal with everyone's shit.  And all I ever hear is it's not good enough.
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Felissan

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110332 on: March 09, 2017, 04:38:16 pm »

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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110333 on: March 09, 2017, 05:19:12 pm »

*hugs SalmonGod*

You're doing far more than enough.  I'm sorry they can't see it.

*hugs Felissan*

Anything we can help with?
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110334 on: March 10, 2017, 10:12:55 am »

Wearing my horribly tacky, souvenir "I <3 LA" t-shirt as a pyjama top.
This reminded me of that amazing button-up Budweiser baseball shirt that  I've regretted not buying from Walmart ever since, and that in turn sparked a conversation on my (family's) trip to the US, and naturally this wound up making me sad about, well, not being there anymore.
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Hanslanda

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110335 on: March 10, 2017, 04:23:50 pm »

Turns out my wife has an active strain of hpv and has had it for five plus years and no doctor noticed until now. :( She is distraught and afraid I would be upset with her. I care but in the "oh god it can give my amazing wife cancer" way and I've been trying to comfort her all day now. :(
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110336 on: March 10, 2017, 06:32:19 pm »

*hugs Hanslanda*

That...Really sucks.  :(
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NRDL

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110337 on: March 10, 2017, 07:03:24 pm »

Hang in there man. Wish you and your wife all the best.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110338 on: March 10, 2017, 08:06:12 pm »

It's good that you found out she's infected without cancer developing, at least.
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Hanslanda

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #110339 on: March 11, 2017, 12:15:19 am »

Indeed. It's somewhat frightening, what with her being five months pregnant and all. Our child could possibly catch it during birth, amongst other risks. I'm dealing with it fairly well, I think. I'm a cold, emotionless person in crisis. It's awful. But she's very upset and she's had so much crap in her past. I wish I could do more to ease her burden. :( I appreciate the sentiments though guys.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.
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