Fucking about on videogames, reddit, and other such.
I forget to take out the garbage, deal with the dishes, other chores. Don't call people I said I would. Including both family and driving instructors. I only really shower every other day instead of every day.
I've been getting screamed at and given stern talks to more and more, so I'm quite positive people are pissed at me.
That something you want to change? Set the intention, and make an effort. Write a sticky note to yourself. Start changing the habit, and it'll get easier the longer you do. Build new habits at certain times of the day, and get a procedure going; when you wash, when you check email, etc. You can change it, if you want to.
My trans-male brother's flatmate has just called my mother, saying that he has attempted to hang himself.
Frankly, he's my step-brother, so I don't feel altogether that close to him, but I can't help but feel terrible for him. He's sparked a lot of my interests, in more serious graphic novels, art, surrealism, etc. He has Borderline Personality Disorder, and this has caused my parents (particularly my mother) a lot of strife, and he has in-the-past used suicide as blackmail, or threat. If I'm honest I find that slightly disgusting, but I digress. I also feel bad for my mother, because I get her P.O.V., and she's been dealing with this for a long time. "My heart's been broken into a million pieces." - A quote from her. She has been upset majorly in the past by my brother, and this isn't actually anything new. She doesn't know what to do, so my dad has said that we'll call in to the hospital tomorrow to check up on him.
A few other things that made me sad.
When my dad was on the phone, he said this, in reference to people suiciding: "People who do that, they don't mean to go through with it, they just do it for attention." That's a very-accurate quote, only slightly filtered through with minor differences in phrasing. I have to say that frankly this isn't true, but it's only his experiences that have made him look at it this way. My brother used it as an attention-grab, and now my dad and mother (although she's a little more understanding) are both desensitized to it all.
Secondly, my mother still cannot bring herself to use my brother's chosen name and pronouns. I feel like this may be due to the fact that he "broke her heart into a million pieces", but I can't help but stress of what will happen when I transition. I doubt she'll use my pronouns. She's been getting better, though, so who knows...
Er.. wow. I've got a lot I could say about this one, but mostly I'm sorry. That's a hard situation for your brother. I can imagine it's hard for you too, in different ways.
Best weapon I've found for combating BPD is sympathy and understanding, and helping them be aware of their behavior patterns. Yes it's something they have to fix, but abandonment and judgement just fuels the behavior pattern, and confirms the broken thinking.
I don't want to go after you, but it's Super Shitty to judge people for attempting suicide; they need comfort, and need to externalize and explain why they did what they did, and need to know it can get better; I see a lot more reasons in this situation than "because attention", even if that was a factor. They don't need to be kicked while they're down, even if you feel their weaknesses is disgusting, rather than viewing them sympathetically. Also also, BPD has a few common forms and is usually generational and inherited from how you're raised. I sense a bit of it in your Mom with regard to making other people's problems about her own suffering rather than theirs. Maybe a bit of that in you too; be vigilant, okay?
The trans thing complicates it. I get that it's hard to change very old behaviors, and to question assumptions about what gender is, from the formative years when we were raised and inculcated. I'm helping my sister with some of that right now; big thing is to remind people who are having trouble with pronouns or whatever to think about who they fundamentally see a person as, and why? And to help them to honestly revise that thought; it's a hard thing to admit, when people want to be supportive, but are sorta glossing over their biases. I'm a big fan of helping people draw a distinction between words like "Woman" (a social role with dress and behavior expectations, and a Pronoun), "Male" (a phenotype/morph of the human body, with primary and Secondary Male characteristics), and even "Trans-Male" (an intersex phenotype of the human body blending primary Female and secondary Male and Female traits).
Anyway, good luck too him, and to y'all.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9777100 times)