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[hops]

Your crush really wasn't healthy for you.

[birdy51]

Honestly, I should have said something a while ago since I myself am in a situation where I love someone who doesn't return it in the same way. But at the same time, I don't have any answers for that. It's stupid that I should still want a romantic relationship, when they don't. But I do. And that fucking sucks whether it's me or you.

The only thing I can possibly suggest is just to remember why the hell you like them in the first place.Then remember it's alright to still love them for those reasons. As far as I am concerned, it's not a crime to have affection foe another. That is beyond human. That's divine.

And it's here where I hit a wall. I know the truth that you can still love someone even after it fails, but I don't know the steps after that. How to get over someone. Or, how to get over the feelings of attraction to go back to being friends.

Which, is why I hesitated to respond since none of that really helps... But in these situations, it's hard to know exactly what to say.

[miauw62]

Your crush really wasn't healthy for you.

tbh itt probably wouldnt be healthy to continue this way, which is why i'm not, and which is why we agreed to have this discussion when the time came, so we had that discussion and reached this conclusion.

Honestly, I should have said something a while ago since I myself am in a situation where I love someone who doesn't return it in the same way. But at the same time, I don't have any answers for that. It's stupid that I should still want a romantic relationship, when they don't. But I do. And that fucking sucks whether it's me or you.

The only thing I can possibly suggest is just to remember why the hell you like them in the first place.Then remember it's alright to still love them for those reasons. As far as I am concerned, it's not a crime to have affection foe another. That is beyond human. That's divine.

And it's here where I hit a wall. I know the truth that you can still love someone even after it fails, but I don't know the steps after that. How to get over someone. Or, how to get over the feelings of attraction to go back to being friends.

Which, is why I hesitated to respond since none of that really helps... But in these situations, it's hard to know exactly what to say.

the method i've seen applied a lot is "find reasons to hate them" which doesnt seem like a very good solution tbh

i just assume it'll go away, eventually, hopefully

and about still being friends... thats the hardest point :< i could use another friend to talk to, but i just dont know if i can even mentally handle that, or if its worth the pain.

[Harry Baldman]

and nobody gives a fuck about me, again

I think your problem might be a lack of compelling narrative. You hit upon the basic notes of rejection, isolation, hopelessness and overall misery, but that's pretty much basic sad thread material. You need to put more effort into your sadness, give it more context and memorable details. Vagueposting about shit isn't going to get you anywhere from a fishing for empathy perspective or even a venting perspective, since there's not much to be said about a vaguepost other than 'yep, that's a thing'.

Naw, what you need is a story post (for example). Go big! Harness your emotions and put them to work. Write a right and proper rant. Relate the whole thing from beginning to end as a testament to your miserable experience. It helps put things into perspective and context, engages the reader and tugs at their heartstrings, leading them to be consequently more involved with their advice. And hey, maybe describing and relating things in a broader context will help you deal with your own shit even if nobody still cares.

[TherosPherae]

And it's here where I hit a wall. I know the truth that you can still love someone even after it fails, but I don't know the steps after that. How to get over someone. Or, how to get over the feelings of attraction to go back to being friends.

I can help with that. First, give yourself some time away from them. Rejection hurts, and that needs to heal before anything else; I learned that one the hard way. Second, just do what you'd normally do, but try to avoid anything that might seem romantic. Eventually, avoiding romance when around them will just be second nature.

Just make sure they don't die suddenly, because then you'll feel like you've just been lying to yourself for years and collapse into a pile of regret and sadness. But with any luck, you won't have to deal with that.

On a tangentially related note, I sit at home and feel lonely, so I go out and do stuff with church folks, and then all I can think about is depressing shit, so I have to awkwardly pretend that I'm having a good time when it's so obvious that I'm not and I come home drained and depressed and still lonely then just do it all over again a day or two later so I can pretend I have some semblance of a social life when I'm really just worrying a few people sick and annoying the rest. Yaaay.

[Mephansteras]

Ah.

What kind of groups, anyway?

Just random social groups, really. A few groups for lesbians/bi women, couple "girls' night out" type things, various others.

Maybe your local game stores have activities you can go and do? A lot of the ones around here have tons of boardgame nights and the like. They also often have boards where people can post stuff like RPG groups looking for players and the like. You could try that?

[birdy51]

Must agree with Helgoland. Writing everything down from beginning to end is cathartic and I highly recommend it; even if nobody else sees it. I have an entire section of my notebooks simply dedicating to deconstructing and ranting.

As to you Theros, thanks for the advice. To the first, she in Disney World literally being a princess. I won't see her for a while! The rejection has as well; though that was indeed tough as hell, especially since there wasn't a firm no. But we talked and resolved it. Heaven forbid that she should suddenly be eaten gators, bit if she were, I would hope that there would be nothing I could have done to change it.

But I will see her again. And when I do, I hope that I can see her as a friend. If not that, a sister, which would help since she considers me to be a brother. Really, I just need to remember that she won't be the only one to make me happy. If the world has her, it has others like her. I must content myself with that.

As for the tangent, I hope your mental state improves. I would post more, but I have squandered my break on my own ramblings.

[ChairmanPoo]

Write everything down and you will be leaving evidence.

[miauw62]

i'll get through it... it just makes me feel like useless, unattractive garbage mostly.

writing stuff down isnt that cathartic for me, somehow...

[Amperzand]

Not to be creepy, but if at least an in-person chat over an internet communication protocol would help, I'm sure I'm not the only one on bay12 who would be willing to chat for a while.

[Tiruin]

I don't even know anymore...

I really wish I had someone to talk to, physically. Just a single person. The isolation is killing me slowly.
There's so little time left, and now I'm squandering it again feeling sorry for myself.

Reach out to your school professionals--even teachers can help out, in at least being an outlet for your concerns. If you've other people you can contact from close relatives or otherwise that are in physical reach, do so.

Time spent resting (which could be translated to feeling sorry for yourself) isn't something bad :O It's time spent making sure you're able to take on future events; preparation time and all. Or at least, relaxing and un-tension(ing) from recently tense events. The follow-up is making sure you're able to do what's going to be done.
Because procrastination--speaking personally in sharing rather than speaking for what may be happening--is a form of facing anxiety (two steps ahead of what's actually being prepared for by doing the thing).
One possible thing to do is writing down your ideas like you do here--then presenting it to someone you know you can be open with but lack the physical time to be with It's like, sending them something they can read at night or whenever they're free, then feedback tomorrow and all.

[Emma]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I think that people think that I'm a robot or something similar. They seem to be very, very good at ignoring me unless of course I say something that I dislike. When I do that I'm just the most irritating person on the planet or, you know, a piece of software that isn't working properly. And on top of that my stupid gender problems haven't decided to stop, they've been just as bad if not worse. Fuck this. 

One of the people in my room is constantly blaring ear-splittingly awful country music while showing everyone videos of him hunting wild pigs. Seeing it makes me sick, he's taking pleasure in the deliberate murder of another creature. I'm starting to become convinced that I should stop eating meat.

[Shook]

Seems very much like you're in the wrong crowd. Are people ignoring you even when you talk about things you do like? Because in that case, it's most likely them being jackasses. As for the gender issues, while i can't relate, i can see that it's a big deal for you. That's totally fine, and i wish you luck in figuring it out. If you're worried about romance, take solace in the fact that there are indeed people who aren't picky about gender in those considerations. :v

[SirQuiamus]

RIP mainiac.   ;__;7

[MaximumZero]

Could not afford to put together even the cheapest Halloween costume.