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[Calidovi]

bruh moment

[Rolan7]

Shouldn't we all?
When I have a kid I'm going to do my best to accept them for what they are, and not hold them to unfair standards, and I'm probably going to fail horribly.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It's a pretty common thing among first-gens, because getting set up in a new country is a hard tack and failing at doing so can be disastrous. So perhaps less vicariousness, and more an unadjusted application of their own circumstances to your very different ones.

Ironically, their very existence is one of the major differences in circumstance.

[Calidovi]

"rolan jr i swear to god get back in the shitpost mines or youre on fatigues for a week. why cant you be more like lsp? hes such a good kid"

"parent of unknown gender, lsp has been banned for 10 years he cant shitpost any more"

"dont speak to me like that again or its 2 weeks on the 'curses' board for you"

"no"

[Rolan7]

I already liked you but, you're awesome.
*brushes tangles from Calidovis wool*

[Calidovi]

thanks to the responders, hopefully my situation changes once i get out of the house

and no homo, rolan

@metalslimehunt
i think you hit the nail on the head
job market in india is incredibly small so they had to work hard as shit to get basic qualifications (qualifications that are respected highly here), and then starting from the top in the us let them never really get how different it is

theyre weird, multifaceted people that i dont and probably never will understand

[Rolan7]

-

[Rose]

Oh god, yes, Indian job market.

As an american immigrant in India, fuck the Indian job market.

[misko27]

still going through my week in a daze. don't enjoy anything, barely even go out to eat. manic behavior just to break the monotony. struggling to get a small thing done that I needed to do before my break. it's now the latter half of my break and I'm only finishing it now. posting a little here and there and just... nothing.i have no idea why i stay up at night when i spend literally all day bored. it's not like i'm doing something more interesting then sleep. Hell I love sleep, why am I posting at 3:45 AM? There are reasons, but no good ones.

Im tempted to say that this started when i lost interest in my previous temporary hobby (well no, actually it just became impossible to pursue further, but i always lose interest eventually anyway). i hate having a cycle of gaining interest in something, making it a big part of my life for weeks, or even months, and then just... losing interest. and then I'm depressed because I've lost such a big part of my life, and anywhere i start off with next i'll be a neophyte. Eventually i'll find something, i'll make friends within that thing, hyperfocus it, I'll gain more knowledge and maybe even make plans involving it... and then i'll just suddenly lose my drive and interest. if i'm lucky I'll still have some residual interest in it, but for a while i can't stand the sight of it. i can't seem to stand anything for too long.

I'm not sure though. For all I can remember it's been roughly this bad for the entire semester. I do feel like I was more on top of self-grooming though, or at least eating regularly. Something's gotten worse.

[Tiruin]

[...]So perhaps less vicariousness, and more an unadjusted application of their own circumstances to your very different ones.

It could also be them telling the same thing they learned because that was mostly or only the thing that was told to them. It's a complex thing. Still, a PSAT isn't something to compare wholesome worth to. It may most likely have been something said and not literally meant at the time.

thanks to the responders, hopefully my situation changes once i get out of the house

Many people here have their PM boxes open :O

I'm as abandoned by the gods as they are by me.
I have no one to blame but myself.

Nobody is ever alone in this world unless it is convincing to them that they are alone.
You're not alone if you're with yourself--because you have thoughts, and thoughts carry the ideas from others and your own working; learned or otherwise.

Also I can't read analogy.
Thesisworries \o/
And a ton of pressure. Woo!

[Emma]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

One of my pet hates is being ignored. It doesn't happen here but it seems that whenever I try to tell someone something I either get told to shut up because I'm annoying or I just get outright ignored. It really bothers me, especially if I'm trying to tell somebody something important and they don't acknowledge me at all. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that one of my "friends" (read: cunts that tell me that I'm worthless) is probably actually a sadistic sociopath. So that's nice.

[TherosPherae]

why won't this grief end. I can't sleep, I can't move on, and all I want to do is see her smile again. Just once. Even in a dream.

But I guess that's too much to ask.

And I've been trying to talk to people but it just seems like shitty temporary help, like slapping a bandaid on a shotgun wound. It feels nice for a bit, but doesn't do a whole lot. And I can tell I'm starting to get on their nerves. Everyone's. But this is all my life is right now, and I just... can't move past it.

[Rolan7]

-

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugs Rolan*
Ah.

I'm here if you want to talk, although I probably don't have much advice.

*hugs TherosPherae*

You aren't getting on my nerves.

That said, have you talked to a professional?  I really think that they might be able to help you out.

@Gamedragon:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*hugs*
I wish I had advice.

*hugs Tiruin*
You got this.  I would make a Conan the Barbarian reference but I just can't quite make it fit a thesis.

*hugs misko*
Talk to a professional.

*hugs Rolan again*

*hugs Calidovi*
Just, good luck, 'kay?

[misko27]

*hugs misko*
Talk to a professional.

You can't make me. I don't listen to alternate-universe clones. You're not my real dad.

I've talked to professionals. I'm talking to one now. Hell, I'm talking to two. I never seem to get the help I need out of them. My mom would say that's because I lack the instinct to ask for the right thing and explain my problems clearly and with an eye towards solving them; whether that means medicine or whatever. Is she right? I don't know. Maybe. In practice, the person who first explained the cycle of gaining interest in something, focusing it, and then losing it and growing depressed was a peer of mine, not a professional. I don't know where to go with these issues,  or how to phrase them. I only have a few sessions with my therapist left, and I'm probably not going to be fixed in 4 weeks, so there are limits to that too. And I'm used to hiding my problems so I can keep getting my medicine and not be marked down in some book as either a potential drug addict or "mentally unstable, consider hospitalization", so asking for changes in my meds is a loaded topic and I never press the issue whenever the prescriber is reluctant.