I finally got sick of my mom's snide comments whenever I asked her about something. It's always a one-off comment implying that she's done nothing wrong and my failures led to the current situation, which she does even if I'm not accusing her of anything or it's obvious that it's my fault. My father does the same thing, actually: Need something and "Well you know I do so much to help you already, and now you want more?" just casually injected as if they can't help themselves (although if you mention this comparison, as i did, she goes off like it's the most insane thing she's ever heard). It's annoying, and I got annoyed enough to tell her to stuff it. Then she did her usual deflection, more blaming, and I started ranting back at her, describing in great detail how every conversation involves her blaming someone else, usually me. I waste an hour writing stuff up, delete it because i know it'll enflame the situation, write something much shorter and milder, she literally refuses to respond to anything but the original issue.
Eventually I notice that I received an email from my sister. She has a problem: I've often told her not to hate our mother and to understand the difficulties mom goes through that leads to her acting the way she does. So my sister was emailing me, explaining that she was trying to rationalize some new absurdity my mother had inflicted on her, blaming my sister for ruining her breakfast the same way she ruined my mother's birthday a few days ago. My sister brought up that what she did on my mother's birthday paled in comparison to what mom had done on my sisters birthday earlier this year, and my mother got angry and blamed my sister for that too (we wanted to get ice cream, we left too late and the store closed, my sister (who, mind, is autistic) got sad and tried to hide that she thought her birthday was ruined and my mother ranted at her for being sad.).
So my sister sends this to me, asking how she is supposed to understand mom. This makes me snap a little bit. So I tell my mother "I am cutting off contact with you until you can answer me one major time in your life that you failed - whether by ignorance or malice - and hurt someone else, that was your fault and yours alone. No excuses. What is the worst time you failed?" I haven't gotten a response yet (this was last night), but my sister sent me a NEW email this morning describing my mother shouting at my sister that she had "betrayed her", and waking her up in the middle of night to kick her out of her bed and take it for herself, saying that it wasn't hers (I sense that this is actually my bed, which is the nicest bed apparently, and is often used by my sister and my mom when I'm not there).
I don't know what to do now.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9784099 times)