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[Solifuge]

Hmm. Motivation can be a tricky thing, sometimes. Only way to get good at self-motivation is to working on setting intentions and getting into the habit of following through on them.

There's other things you can piggy-back onto that idea too, to help you structure your time or help you exercise self control. If you're worried about bad internet habits, etc., some folks treat it like an addiction and do a Cold Turkey thing, or restrict their access to a schedule or a budget of time like you said. Some people set firm intentions to do other things before they pick a thing to do to relax, like play games or go online. There's stuff like the Pomodoro system too, where you budget short and frequent breaks, which split up the time you're putting into a main activity or task; you can freely goof around on breaks, as long as you get back to the task at hand when the break's over.

There's lots of ways to balance the ways you're spending time. Do whatever you've got to do, or whatever works best for you. I think there's lots of options that don't involve completely cutting something from your life, especially if it's important to you.

[JoshuaFH]

There's a feeling that's always nagging me, I'd say every day now, a feeling that everything in life is a joke. That everything, in some way, is pretentious and insinuating something: that life is pointless, and everything action, any amount of care placed into anything, even your thoughts, even the very act of living itself, is a joke and caring about it is a waste of effort and feeling. A very faux-Nietzsche-y thing I know.

It's actually a feeling I've been harboring since my grade school years, but I suppose it's only now that I've bothered to place it into words, though I suppose that's more for me not being able to articulate the feeling rather than not trying to, cause I have been trying. I even think I first picked up the idea watching a cartoon, and hearing a character respond to another very incensed character "Who CARES?" and while that character was clearly just written to be an asshole, I'd been thinking about it ever since. Who really does care, and why should they care?

This feeling has been more and more poignant as, while my living conditions have improved and my general mood has proportionally improved and I'm not crushed by depression (as much) recently and in fact I'm feeling pretty good and contented with life recently, I still struggle to find the motivation in life, to do something greater than just existing. I still feel troubled though whenever I set out to actually do something productive and useful with myself, rather than relieved or glad or proud of myself, I feel that something is seriously wrong, that I'm upsetting the natural order of the universe by giving a fuck about anything. That having accomplishments mean nothing. That acquiring a skill or knowledge is pretentious. That finding love is pointless because humans are trivial and nothing special, and so are their feelings and futures.

This is the thought that weighs down my decision making I feel, a lot of the time. The most recent example would be me at a kind of dance-exercise class at the YMCA, and while it was fun and engaging, I found it very hard to get into it fully, my mind taking it upon itself to instead become absorbed its own thoughts about the seeming futility of it.

Sorry Soli if I'm not directing responding to you, I'm more just saying what's on my mind, cause I feel I need to say it.

[NRDL]

*Hugpats*, regardless of whether these have any meaning or not, have em anyway.

[TheBiggerFish]

*adds to the hugpile*

[ChairmanPoo]

 https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/sep/16/chinese-actor-xu-ting-dies-after-choosing-traditional-medicine-over-chemotherapy

This story made me sad. The fact that she did this because she wanted to spare her family the costs of real treatments made me sadder.

[TheBiggerFish]

....That sucks.

[George_Chickens]

My throat is as swollen and red as a baboon's arse right now. Lord, it's horrible.

[ChairmanPoo]

It sucks even more when you consider that, while they dont say her specific disease, most lymphomas have actually a good prognosis with the correct treatment

[NRDL]

Cancer fucking sucks in general.  It's very existence and status as the slow cooker of lethal sicknesses makes me feel worse. 

[Yoink]

Fuck my life.
That is all.

I was going to do a haiku about it but it seemed really shit. Sorry.

[TheBiggerFish]

*hugs Yoink*

What happened?

[BorkBorkGoesTheCode]

Yoink: Having trouble with tenants?

EDIT: My parents are fighting today

[itisnotlogical]

I want my own place to live so badly. I want to live alone, so alone that it's so quiet I could hear a pin drop. I shouldn't have quit my job.

[BlackHeartKabal]

I want my own place to live so badly. I want to live alone, so alone that it's so quiet I could hear a pin drop. I shouldn't have quit my job.

So, would you say that itsnotlogical Just Wants A Quiet Life?

In all seriousness, if conditions at your job were bad, there's minimal regret in quitting, Assuming you live in america, best of luck finding a new job with the horror stories I hear.

[SalmonGod]

Something I don't understand, and has pissed me off for 7 years now (as long as my older son has been type 1 diabetic).  Insurance covers so much insulin, that you'll never possibly use it all.  But barely cover enough blood sugar test strips to get by at bare minimum # of checks per day.  And those things are fucking expensive.  Costs $50 for the smallest unit of 50 per bottle.  Had to spend that out-of-pocket so many fucking times, because we had one day to go before insurance would cover a refill and flying it blind would have been too irresponsible.