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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9705269 times)

hector13

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107220 on: September 01, 2016, 01:25:34 am »

Methinks it's the "won't let me help them" mentality. If people don't want to talk about their problems, no amount of unsolicited advice from an internet stranger is going to do it.

This is why I encourage the depressives to seek help, and not offer it myself. I also know how emotionally draining it is being someone's crutch and/or sounding board.
But that's what people have been doing and it doesn't work.
You just said yourself the opposite doesn't work either :P

Part of my issue with offering advice is it also enables "bad" behaviour.

Someone says they are shit and useless, someone else says no, Someone is not shit and useless. It's a pleasant feeling, that. Doesn't last long though, and the issues that make Someone feel shit and useless aren't dealt with. It becomes easier and easier to ignore the problem for the quick fix, low-shock, low-maintenance "I'm shit" "no you're not!" instead of facing up to what's behind Someone feeling like they're shit and useless.

This is why I always tell someone to talk about their issues. Depression doesn't just go away, and I won't enable a behaviour that does shit all to help in the long-run.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107221 on: September 01, 2016, 01:27:01 am »

But that's what people have been doing and it doesn't work.

It gets weird sometimes. I've heard the idea that fluoxetine reactivating certain critical periods in the nervous system might be responsible for increasing the severity of depression because people take it while in a depressive rut without changing their environment in a significant way and their mind effectively "learns" new and more horrible depths of depression as they explore misery they were physically incapable of before. It's a fascinating idea, though I'm unsure how factually true it might be if at all (considering fluoxetine has been used to teach people absolute pitch in adulthood if I recall correctly, but its broader psychological implications aren't very clear).

Treating depression might be like exercise for the obese. It's difficult as shit because your mind and body are fighting it every step of the way in every way it knows how. Improve your techniques, learn more about what you need to do and increment your efforts, and maybe eventually it'll work. And much like not being obese, not being depressed is probably one of the most worthwhile end goals simply because of how much it changes in your life.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107222 on: September 01, 2016, 04:00:29 am »

I don't think I can ever handle this thread. People who I make contact with just won't let me help them. And if anything I'm just getting convinced by them that maybe it's all meaningless and I should just kill myself.
If it makes you feel any better, I appreciated your response to one of my recent Sads.
Felt like you'd actually read enough of my previous posts to have some understanding of my situation and try to offer some actual advice or understanding.

Then again, I don't think I'm one of those you're referring to, here.
Either way, don't beat yourself up about struggling to help people around here. None of us (apart from a few who might actually know one another in meatspace) really know each other's circumstances, and dragging someone out of depression over the internet is a tall order. An almost impossible task, really, especially considering that for a lot of us this here Sad Thread is where we go to vent when we're feeling down... I don't know where I was going with this, I was gonna say something profound and Put Things In Perspective but I kinda lost my train of thought.

Oh well. Don't sweat it. If you're offering someone a kind word, you're already going above and beyond anything you're "required" to do. :)
You shouldn't be trying to shoulder their burdens for them or anything. That seems like a Not Good idea.
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Arx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107223 on: September 01, 2016, 04:06:29 am »

My internet is almost unuseably slow. So much for working on that website or working on that maths, then, I guess.
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Kot

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107224 on: September 01, 2016, 04:16:34 am »

I am already sick and exhausted from pretending. It took me what, three hours?
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107225 on: September 01, 2016, 09:22:25 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'll send you a PM.  But I'd like to reiterate what Yoink said.

And @hector:That might not have been intended as advice, but I think you said something profoundly insightful there.

I am already sick and exhausted from pretending. It took me what, three hours?
What happened?
« Last Edit: September 01, 2016, 09:25:23 am by TheBiggerFish »
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Silthuri

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107226 on: September 01, 2016, 10:36:13 am »

Just wanna reiterate something I think I've said here earlier: my inbox is open to anyone who needs to talk about depression/anxiety/mental stuffs. I won't always have advice for you, but we can talk through problems, general sads, etc. I've had anxiety depression for over 11 years and I know what it's like. I'm no mental health expert, but I've cut, battled the suicidal thoughts and ended up in a mental hospital for an attempted-attempted suicide. Not trying to one-up anyone with their sads/mental state, but I just want to say I've been there and I wanna help others get out.

A slight sad on my side: college sucks when most of your professors think their class is the most important thing in your life right now. Not sure how I'm gonna get through law school if I can barely handle the current work load. On top of that, I feel I should find a new job very soon before I end up fired because of a shitty manager I have to deal with. And even worse than that... I left my goddamn headphones at home so no music for me.
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kot

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107227 on: September 01, 2016, 11:08:32 am »

I am already sick and exhausted from pretending. It took me what, three hours?
What happened?
People, that's what happened. This thing will drag behind me for the rest of my life, it seems.
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BlackHeartKabal

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107228 on: September 01, 2016, 11:31:57 am »

Nothing significant was here, leave me alone.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2016, 12:04:39 pm by BlackHeartKabal »
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107229 on: September 01, 2016, 02:25:43 pm »

....
*hugs anyway*
Hope whatever it wasn't is better...

I am already sick and exhausted from pretending. It took me what, three hours?
What happened?
People, that's what happened. This thing will drag behind me for the rest of my life, it seems.
:(
*hugs*
If you need to vent, feel free to PM me.

That goes for anyone.  I can't promise I'll be much help but I promise I'll try.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107230 on: September 01, 2016, 02:30:00 pm »

*hugs thebiggerfish*
ChairmanPoo has entered a martial trance!
*the hug grows progressively stronger. Bones begin to break*
TheBiggerFish has been struck down
*packs thebiggerfish into an Amazon live fish package*
« Last Edit: September 01, 2016, 02:32:17 pm by ChairmanPoo »
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hops

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107231 on: September 01, 2016, 02:37:04 pm »

You killed Kenny TBF! You bastard!
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107232 on: September 01, 2016, 02:41:00 pm »

I'm not dead!
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TD1

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107233 on: September 01, 2016, 02:45:41 pm »

*Bang*

Oh, hey, did someone speak?

:P
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IronTomato

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #107234 on: September 01, 2016, 02:59:58 pm »

Youtube's new Terms and Conditions.

Of all stupid shit I have witnessed Youtube do in my lifetime this is probably the stupidest.
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