[...]
It's really an unfortunate fact that there's nothing I can offer you more than sympathy. Hell, I didn't even go through a turbulent childhood like Tiruin so I can't even offer mutual understanding.
Nein. Mutual understanding isn't only had by mutual and similar experiences--it's in the understanding and insight connected to exposure and experience.
Currently lack time for writing anything, PMs or otherwise because I've a lot to write (hello Midterms x_X), but posting about this because it seems pretty important and my English is messy when I'm rushing.
Why I mentioned my past wasn't because I'm offering some kind of idea as a basis on why I am who I am--it's the subtext in between the words. I can have a turbulent past and sink or swim, or I can have a great past and sink or swim; it's that subtext in those experiences which give them merit, even possibly as a strengthening subject even if the event is entirely or mostly the opposite. Personally, due to these experiences--we mull them over in mind, with the concepts we learned, and how to proceed with it; sometimes the conclusions we draw aren't the best, but it's usually a mix between emotion and logic in order to make
reason.
I'd not like that idea to be compared--that one must have this kind of exposure in the past to make a relevant and empathetic connection to others--because even those who have not experienced such are able to do so. This isn't in the context of impossible and inevitable; the mind is able to empathize by putting itself in situations and deriving details from those situations (eg Think of how many times in academia you are asked the question in an essay that details a situation, followed by a 'Why' or any such follow-up that asks you to give your own personal insight or details on it; that's an example that follows this kind of circumstance). WHILE there may an evident gap in understanding from context to context (eg It's very much advised not to say 'I understand' within the grounds of counseling others in a case of lacking context, because that statement can generalize the idea),
it is not impossible to be able to understand, and if ever one aims to understand the other, it is by mutual communication. One may not be able to fully understand the complex wholesomeness the other person in a needful situation may feel--but it is always able to not make them feel alone.
Also Vec, I'm pretty silly when I'm emotional too! Mutual silliness, go! \o/I wish I could get drunk. I'm pretty sure it would make me more confident, if not outgoing. But then there's this whole legal-age thing, and I'm not going to go braking the law because I want to be able to talk to people with out having an internal breakdown.
Nope. That won't work.
Apologies if my writing here isn't good x_x (and which others can explain better), but being drunk from alcoholic substances
do not make one more "confident" and "outgoing". One's limit of taking in alcoholic substances are also very different from person to person--but please take note that
alcohol is not a solution even if the perception of it may
seem like it.
It's not something that 'boosts courage'.
It's not something that 'makes you strong'.
These values of personality are not given by drink or external substances--these are in part, learned, and faced with the same thing that causes facing these obstacles: Personality & Attitude.
I believed in me too. I used to, I really did. I thought I could do...anything if I really, really wanted to. And then certain events happened, and now I'm...whereever this is.
From an observer, I think a bit of self-reflection and communication with others who are the right people to talk to, can help a lot here. There's a difference from the self-image (personal outlook) and self-esteem (general outlook). Don't stay convinced that you lack faith in yourself, because you'll be your company in life all throughout.
Belief, in that context in that statement up there, may be limited to what you thought about back then--then if certain unforseen events happened, it may change. But you don't have to conclude
the end already. You may feel it 'may be the end'. That's ok to be acknowledged, but don't let it become a conclusion you can live by or else it'll demoralize you.
Two days teaching school full-time have made it clear for me that this is not viable as a career in the long term. Too many people, too many emotions going on constantly, not enough quiet time. [...]
Maybe talk to older educators there for balancing insight? :O I've heard of a(n abstracted) mentor-mentee system in place here from older teachers to younger and pretty-new teachers. The emotions can be handled as time passes as far as I can recall within the STE field [and in my opinion, you've got
pedagogical competence/
pedagogical content knowledge down, which is mostly only learned by personal experience and exposure].
Wishing you well as a teacher there dude :>
Brings back memories of how important and life-affecting my teachers in elementary/HS were.
Part of me also wants to transfer into that school forthwith. Hhhhh x____x
Lacking time--have a very nice email I should reply to (but the sender is totally cool with waiting
) and some PMs to still send! (Sorry Highmax, reaaaal late reply X_x)
And our exam got rescheduled to Tuesday next week due to our city-wide earthquake drill o_o [It brings back memories
of past events 4 years before I was born. The rescheduling/presence of such a drill is not my sad.
]
As an aside: I've been worrying about one friend o' mine ever since a week ago--he's the one that sent that condescending PM but it's pretty due on how he's handling himself in his area .-. Wish I had more feedback from him; sent a lot of stuff to him over PMs as good alternatives and support, but encountering a lapse in communication on his part, probably due to social anxiety. Hoping he's ok.