That sounds alarmingly depression-like. I hope it isn't. Too many people get afflicted by depression, including multiple friends/classmates, two childhood friends (who are siblings) with one of them trying and thankfully failing to kill himself (he's now in a psychiatric hospital), and waaaaaaaaaay too many good people on the internet. Good luck. :<
Hey, you two, I'm addressing you both since what I'm going to say would be pretty similar anyways, but you two are two of my idols. I guess I haven't said things much because I'm worried it'll be useless platitudes or whatever, and what I'm saying right now probably are platitudes, but it has to be said.
Vector, you're one of the most diligent, intelligent, and creative people I've known. I can't say that you're wrong to say that you're weak and useless, but I just have to point out that by that metric, so is everyone else in the world. And those metrics are just that, metrics. You can give yourself any unrealistic standard you want, just keep in mind that just by your courage to act despite your insecurity, and your self-criticism, you're already better than a lot of people. I'm not Tiruin, so I'm not going to say that there aren't any people who don't deserve to live, but you're not one of them.
Shook, I always want to say things about how your art inspire me, but I just personally feel faint praises are just as bad as silence. Literally everyone else already said your art is good, but just like Vector, you two are just beyond us when it comes to your standards, and that's not a bad thing. Famous artists are weird, creepy, crazy people with no shame, so don't worry about how others think of your art, because they're good and has so much potential. I'm kind of losing track of what I'm saying but basically you have both the talent and training to become a great artist. What you need now is courage. Which, in case I sound like I'm spouting platitudes again, I want to say I haven't succeeded in yet either. But the way is there and the way is clear.
aaaaaaaaaa
Thank you Cinder! I don't mind "useless" platitudes at all given how unstable my mood can be, but anyhoo, allow me to address a few things (disregarding the fact that i don't feel like i should be looked up to at all): I am, first of all, extremely grateful for all the support and kind words i've received, i'd probably have fizzled out long ago if not for that. Also, regarding standards, i guess there's some truth to that. It's not that i'm ashamed, i'm actually a fairly shameless guy (shame is just a tool employed by others to make you feel bad about yourself), but i am SCARED SHITLESS by the notion of being rejected and alienated for what i like. Considering everything, that's not an impossible event. I'm glad you think that i have the potential to be great; i'm not sure if i THINK so myself, but i sure HOPE so. There are SO MANY images in my minds eye that i want to draw (and in case you're wondering, yes, most of them are floating in a white void), but my confidence is generally too low to even try. Again, the Jonah complex strikes, so you're totally right in saying that i need courage. As with all other fears in my life, this one isn't going to just go away on its own. :I