My Sad, whilst nowhere near as terrible as that, is causing tightness in my torso and utter confusion in my head.
Last time I whined about it I put it in the 'Mildly Sad' thread, simply because it wasn't entirely Sad, but contained traces of Terrified, WTF and maybe even a little Rage as well. But whatever it is, it certainly isn't minor and it's causing me a heap of stress.
According to my friend+housemate, I owe him over a grand. The main reason for that is because, when I first moved in with him and another person, the system they were using for keeping track of rent and bills was some Google spreadsheet crap that I could barely open on my laptop and had no patience to look at anyway. Shouldn't have needed it, really.
Keeping up with rent was easy, since I could just transfer a fortnight's worth of it over to the housemate in charge of paying it when I received my fortnightly payment, but bills were trickier since they came in quite sporadically and were always different. I figured my other housemate (whose job it was to pay the bills) would let me know when bills came in, but apparently not. He simply added them to the spreadsheet, then paid the whole lot around the due date and, if anyone hadn't paid their share, added that to the general amount they owed to the househould... whilst adding credit to his own account.
I'm sure you can see how this became a problem, yes?
I don't really see why I should have to pay for a bunch of bills that I was never even made aware of.
He apparently expects me to, though, and he also tells me (I'm currently in another state, on a lame family-visiting trip that was causing me enough Sads even before this) our household is behind on rent and we're likely to be evicted this month if no-one comes up with some money.
Now, I don't particularly like living in that place (mainly because I'm sharing with four other people, people I don't have much in common with, which I always find painful) and I really don't think it's worth the amount I pay each month, let
alone all these bills I'm behind on. But my stuff is there. I like my stuff. I would rather not have to just abandon all my stuff, and I don't really have anyone with a vehicle who could rescue it if I decided to leave, not without a several-hour drive anyway.
And that would be a lot to ask of someone, even family. Besides, I don't have anywhere else to go, really.
I dunno what to do. This sucks.
Owing money is like this constant pressure, slowly crushing me down into despair. There's still that fine I received months ago that I haven't done anything about, either. It would be nice if I could get a job and start trying to dig myself out of this financial hole of dependence, with the eventual goal of getting a place of my own where I could actually have some privacy and interact with others on my terms, but of course that's never going to happen.
Sorry for rambling. I might nap now, or something. I don't have anyone in meatspace to talk to about this shit, really.
I tried discussing the issues with my mother over the phone, but she started shouting at me because she's insane. Seems like I'll have to ask my father for help. I feel really terrible asking people for help all the time, but it doesn't seem like there's much else I can do.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9702409 times)