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[Tiruin]

Acknowledge those thoughts. But don't act on em. Really. Personal experience has had me cross that road more than I can count on my hand.

E: Ninja'd.
I've had a thought that poked me on making a graph out of it. Cue me existentializing the whole day
> Our lack of existence has a neutral outcome. When someone is too focused on a negative idea and has it apply to themselves as if they're that idea, they're skewed to the negative. Suicide doesn't return the playing field to neutral--it affects you, because in cases of it leaves you focused on 'a way out'. It's an appealing thought at times when all you can see is bluh, and all you've evaluated yourself as is bluh. And it affects those who care about you by a long-shot.
> Nobody existed to live a horrible life. That's as far as I can say history works to prove, given all the factors of reality in play. What we can personally control is how we work with these factors--beginning with our attitude (so our actions in the future won't end up in the same outcome that has us down--either by how we interpreted the outcome, or how we interpreted ourselves). How we can begin there is by balancing every crappy thought that we think equals us, with a more realistic overview: Always start with the simple things, because they make the path between point A and B in order for us to get there no matter the relative distance between our goals.

I [...]did schoolwork most of tonight[...].

Give that the same quality you feel anything else has on ya

Things are all bulletpoints today. I'm out of touch, always was.[...]

Yo buddy :O *hugs to thee*
Sorry for brevity, but the best thing I've heard lately comes from my GC. [pertaining to negative experiences as the context]
There're times where we experience something over and over a lot, that we think it's the norm. When we begin to look outwards, they're actually a minority.
Or something like that This is paraphrased and really different from the impact she gave it.
But I'm seriously in the belief that they aren't at the same quality you're standing at and lived with. *cheers to your adaptation and mastery* Big sign of why you're awesome.

[Worldmaster27]

and usually causes severe trauma to anyone close to you.

Like who? Everyone who I thought was close to me either doesn't actually care at all or actually hates me.
Also, it's not an solution. I just want the fucking life to stop hurting so much.

hell, even people who arent close to you will be hurt a lot. I know of people who people in their schools had offed themselves and even though they didn't know the person personally or were friends at all, every time they would question why couldn't they have gotten to know this person? Why weren't they nicer to them? Maybe they could've done something to prevent this.

My point is to say that it isn't just people who are close to you who would be devastated if you decided to do that. People who you maybe haven't thought much about will be affected, just as much as those who you interact with daily.

And @spehss I don't think we'll ever not react to you or anyone posting stuff like that so :v

*hugs* @Gentlefish and @Tru and @everyone who would like one

[Yoink]

Despite waking up at a reasonable hour (pretty sure it was around 8AM, which was the intended time) I wound up falling back to sleep whilst writing down a cool dream I had. Then I woke up at almost 2PM. And I don't feel particularly motivated to do anything after that, so there goes the entire day. Probably won't even get any laundry done, since the washing machine is already in use.

I hope all you other sad folks feel better soon.
I don't really understand hugs, of either the internet or physical variety, so instead I shall tell a joke to cheer y'all up.

Q: What do you call a non-drinker who works at a liquor store?

Spoiler: A: (click to show/hide)

I don't know, but I'll try and remember to ask the guy when I'm spending all my food money there later today!
...


Hahaha, get it? It's funny because it's my life and that's a huge joke to begin with.
Please don't revoke my comedy license. >.>

[TheBiggerFish]

@All:
Also, please, hug thread, I made it for a reason and you people are that reason.

Go get some hugs, okay?

[Rose]

Got overwhelmed yesterday with, well, everything, and broke down crying. Twice.

First time alone, second time the instant I started talking to my wife on the phone.

I just feel so... inadequate.

I'm a high-school dropout with very little marketable skills, a shitty job where I'm already getting paid more than the bureaucrats in management think I should be, so little chance of a raise there, and even in the highly unlikely chance that some employer somewhere decides to look past all that, it will still be further away than I can possibly pay to move.

And somehow I need to figure out how to make ends meet enough to raise a kid.

I don't know if I can do it. It's just too overwhelming.

[SalmonGod]

The fact that you throw the word "marketable" in there means you know it's bullshit, because you have skills.

[Rose]

I made a couple DF mods. Yay

[Orange Wizard]

To be fair they're complicated enough that no-one else made them before you

...

Anyway, I have eczema under my eyelids. I, uh, what?

[Putnam]

Anyway, I have eczema under my eyelids. I, uh, what?

I have eczema in a lot of places, but. Uh.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I made a couple DF mods. Yay

you made DF mods... that are very good graphic engines??? That's not a non-marketable skill at all. My DF mods are, like, dumb derivative crap. One of the might have some interesting mechanics if you squint a little.

[SalmonGod]

Utilities that tackle problems no one else in this community does.  This community is full of people who are dedicated and tech-savvy and want the things you produce, yet somehow you're the only one who produces them.  That says something to me.  Clearly there are unique qualities involved there.  Not marketable?  Yeah, DF mods aren't of much interest to our capitalist overlords.  But I'm sure the qualities that you apply to your work for the DF community could be applied elsewhere.  Just got to look for that problem that no one else recognizes, solve it, and be recognized.

But you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed and resigned.  My sad is I feel like my health is going seriously downhill fast lately, and I have a really hard time convincing myself that I want to care.  I don't exercise at all anymore, don't care much about my diet, and sleep less all the time.  I don't know what I'm weighing these days, but all my pants are sagging off of me.  But I'm less and less seeing any possible future for myself that's at all motivating.  My worst nightmare that I spent all my 20s desperately trying to avoid has come true - my job has turned into a career that I never wanted.  I'm incredibly successful at it, and all my bosses praise me and say things that encourage me to pursue moving further up.  My direct supervisor has come pretty damn close to directly stating that he wants me to take his place.  But I don't want any of it.  I hate the culture of the industry I'm working in, not just on principle but it's fundamentally draining to me as an introvert.  I hate that work has taken over enough of my life so much that I haven't meaningfully pursued any of my own interests outside of work in 2 1/2 years, and it will only get worse if I move up.  But I'm stuck with it until some miracle happens, because I can't afford to give up half or more of my pay to start over from scratch in another industry.  I'm making ends meet for my family, but it's probably going to literally kill me.

Also feel like I'm emotionally drifting from my family.  Just kind of live here and putz around seeking mild low-effort contentment whenever I'm not doing whatever's necessary to enable everyone else to seek fulfillment.

[Rose]

Also utilities that barely anybody else uses.

[Putnam]

Also utilities that barely anybody else uses.

barely anybody uses any mod, even masterwork is dead

basically any utility that isn't a meme by now (starter pack, therapist) is not used at all, dwarf manipulator is ridiculously good but nobody seems to think about it etc.

[sprinkled chariot]

Well, df is game with small playerbase.

[Yoink]

It's almost my birthday. Always a sad time of year.

[Amperzand]

and usually causes severe trauma to anyone close to you.

Like who? Everyone who I thought was close to me either doesn't actually care at all or actually hates me.
Also, it's not an solution. I just want the fucking life to stop hurting so much.

hell, even people who arent close to you will be hurt a lot. I know of people who people in their schools had offed themselves and even though they didn't know the person personally or were friends at all, every time they would question why couldn't they have gotten to know this person? Why weren't they nicer to them? Maybe they could've done something to prevent this.

My point is to say that it isn't just people who are close to you who would be devastated if you decided to do that. People who you maybe haven't thought much about will be affected, just as much as those who you interact with daily.

And @spehss I don't think we'll ever not react to you or anyone posting stuff like that so :v

*hugs* @Gentlefish and @Tru and @everyone who would like one

That's kind of what I mean.

It's almost guaranteed that some number of empathetic and kind people are aware of and, by virtue of their personalities, care about you, or any other given human being. Even if you don't know them, they will still find your, or really anyone's suicide deeply unpleasant.

The example I'm working with is this girl, whose name I'm not telling. Barely even recognized her, hadn't seen her in like five years, and because of a tangential business relationship with her parents, her suicide still sucked for everyone involved.

Anyone empathetic who knows of you would be negatively affected by your death by any means, but suicide is pretty much as bad as it gets for those around you.