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Author Topic: Turns out I'm a fugitive.  (Read 6352 times)

Aqizzar

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Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« on: October 08, 2009, 09:59:43 pm »
On December 21, 2008, at four o'clock in the morning on my way from work, I got pulled over in front of my house, because my mother's car which I was driving had an expired registration sticker.  I file the ticket on the 29th.

A couple weeks later, I'm getting curious about why I haven't gotten a notice of when I'm supposed to go to court and pay it, which was supposed to arrive within a week or two.  According to the city worker who sounded quite irate that I had the audacity to call her switchboard, because the sticker was expired by so many months, my court-pay date was set for October.  I recall the 15th.

Not surprisingly, I kind of forgot about it over the intervening ten months, until a couple days ago when I realized that I still hadn't gotten a notice.  While rooting through my papers for the note I had written, the mail arrives.  According to the Offices of T. Tkach, Attorney at Law, I somehow missed the date and now have a warrant for my arrest.  And I still haven't gotten that notice.

I'll be going down to the courthouse to pay it tomorrow.  It's only $160 after all.  This is hardly the first time this kind of thing has happened to me, and I'm getting damn tired of being nickled-and-dimed to death, or at least to incarceration, by municipal governments that look at me as a renewable cash flow.

Venting over.  Uh...  Thoughts?
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Quote from: Duke 2.0 on October 04, 2011, 05:15:14 pm
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Emperor_Jonathan

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2009, 10:02:00 pm »
I knew there was something suspicious about you.
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TheNewerMartianEmperor

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2009, 10:02:50 pm »
*gasp*! Our own baron! A felon! Oh, the shaaaame!
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Once tried to conquer Earth, and succeeded! Too bad it got really, really boring, really, really fast.

One day, we shall all look back on this, and laugh. Sorry about the face, by the way, and the legs, and the eyes, and the arms. In fact, sorry 'bout the whole body.

Duke 2.0

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2009, 10:03:54 pm »
 Alright, I have a van driving your way with the gunmen onboard. As soon as you get the insider information on that prison security, we'll bust you out and the rest of the Longbeard Gang.

 Longbeards for Life!
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Quote from: Aqizzar on October 13, 2010, 04:19:47 am
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Aqizzar

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2009, 10:05:24 pm »
Quote from: TheNewerMartianEmperor on October 08, 2009, 10:02:50 pm
*gasp*! Our own baron! A felon! Oh, the shaaaame!

You have no idea how close to reality you are.  But that's another story for another time.

Anybody else got any venting to get out about the process of the law?  I'm building an archive for when I run for Judge to try to fix some of this shit.
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Quote from: Duke 2.0 on October 04, 2011, 05:15:14 pm
And here is where my beef pops up like a looming awkward boner.
Quote from: Toady One on December 04, 2010, 05:10:27 pm
Please amplify your relaxed states.
Quote from: PTTG??
The ancients built these quote pyramids to forever store vast quantities of rage.

cowofdoom78963

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2009, 10:23:16 pm »
Quote
I'm building an archive for when I run for Judge to try to fix some of this shit.
Who would hire a fugitive for a Judge? I would reconsider my career options if I were you.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2009, 10:59:58 pm »
If it was Aqizzar, I'd vote for him.

Seriously, I think you should find a way out of paying due to the fact that they never sent you a notice.
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eerr

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #7 on: October 08, 2009, 11:03:58 pm »
Get someone rich to pay for a lawyer.

then go to town on city officials.
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Rilder

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2009, 11:24:20 pm »
Seduce a lawyer and use her as a sleeper.

Persuade some hippies to join you and have them seduce some judges so you can get leniency.


THE LIBERAL CHIN REVOLUTION WILL NOT FALTER OVER A TICKET.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2009, 11:26:34 pm by Rilder »
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2009, 11:46:32 pm »
OK AQIZZAR DON'T PANIC! You can escape from the law, I CAN HELP YOU!

All you need to do is make the 1500~ mile drive to Michigan. Drive up the right side of the thumb, it gets pretty wooded and desolate up there but don't worry. Once you get into a place called "Grind Stone City" look for a bar and grill that looks like it's half burnt down and has no name, and see if there's a van parked on the side.

Pull up and wait a minute, STAY IN YOUR CAR! KEEP THE DOORS LOCKED!... When/if someone comes up to your window, immediately ask for their name. If he says "Stevie" then PEEL OUT! THAT'S NOT ME DON'T TALK TO STEVIE HE'LL DO BAD THINGS!

Down the street from that building, you'll find a very similar burnt down bar and grill, THAT'S where I'll be. I'll lead you to a port where my friend's girlfriend keeps her boat. She won't mind if I use it don't worry she's cool like that. I'll take you across Lake Huron over to Canada in the middle of the night, under the cover of darkness!

If it gets stormy unexpectedly, you'll have to do your damndest to not fall into the water. DO NOT FALL INTO THE WATER AT ANY COSTS! THERE'S ATLEAST 3 THINGS WHICH CAN AND WILL EAT YOU ALIVE! People think the great lakes are really great and friendly, THEY'RE WRONG!

Bring as much as you can carry, because I'll have to deposit you on one of Canada's many rocky beaches and then leave you there to fend for yourself. I can get you a fake canadian ID, I know this hot canadian chick, she can get you one. It'll be a little extra though, I don't know how cool I am with her, we haven't talked in awhile.

From there though, I can only wish you good luck. Don't get the mounties angry, they're alot meaner than you might be led to believe. Bring lots of bug spray, the mosquitos move in clouds. Learn alittle french. I'm not sure how used you are to snow, so bring a real good coat as well. If you meet any homeless indians, don't believe anything they say. Finally, learn to like maple syrup, they have tons of it up there. Not kidding.
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userpay

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #10 on: October 08, 2009, 11:53:40 pm »
Well when I turned 18 I was suppose to sign up for the draft by law. Yaa... I didn't know about that, never recived anything about that, hell my dad who works in the airforce completely forgot about it. The only reason that I found out about it was in a US history class when the teacher mentioned the draft and that particular rule. So technecally I was a draft dodger for like 2 months.
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Xotes

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #11 on: October 08, 2009, 11:58:23 pm »
You know, I was going to post some advice of my own, but chaoticjosh just topped anything I could possibly put out.

Eh, why the hell not.

My advice is that you get yourself a nice cloak and a mask, grab a sling, buy a mace, and proceed to make a living in the woods as an outlaw. Any who find you will be drawn in by that impressive chin and you will soon have yourself a band of outlaws who go around clubbing people for their cash. I'd also advise getting very good at hiding in general, since the Law would not take kindly to a bunch of guys leaping out at people from the woods and hitting them.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2009, 01:06:48 am by Xotes »
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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #12 on: October 09, 2009, 12:01:21 am »
Quote from: Barbarossa the Seal God on October 08, 2009, 10:59:58 pm
Seriously, I think you should find a way out of paying due to the fact that they never sent you a notice.

Ignorance of the law is not an excuse! Which is often what they say when you're supposed to do something and don't know about it :(
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TheNewerMartianEmperor

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #13 on: October 09, 2009, 12:11:14 am »
Remember to wear one of those raccoon-bandit masks. If you wear it there is absolutely no possible way that they can know who you are!
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Once tried to conquer Earth, and succeeded! Too bad it got really, really boring, really, really fast.

One day, we shall all look back on this, and laugh. Sorry about the face, by the way, and the legs, and the eyes, and the arms. In fact, sorry 'bout the whole body.

Mr Tk

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Re: Turns out I'm a fugitive.
« Reply #14 on: October 09, 2009, 12:18:46 am »
Look for the one armed man! He's framed you.
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