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Author Topic: Listening to other people's problems  (Read 4153 times)

umiman

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Listening to other people's problems
« on: October 05, 2009, 02:07:23 pm »

I like to listen to other people's problems. Usually the kinds of problems that require them to make life-altering decisions. Not particularly sure why, but it excites me greatly to help steer people along or see their growth in action. For example:

I have a friend who came to me a few years ago for advice. She said she found a video on her brother's computer which basically showed her brother (younger than her, and she was 16 at the time) having relations with their piano teacher... in their house. When no one was at home. So, she wanted to know what to do with the information.

I have another friend who earlier this year, asked me for advice on what to do after someone in his gym told him that he works out too noisily and for the past few months, has been pissing off everyone there till the point that they actually leave once they see him come in (he was completely unaware of this).

I love things like this. I'm not sure how much I helped them (I tend to use the Socratic method to help them find an answer for themselves), but it's great to be part of the genesis of a persona... though I'm not too sure why. I don't actually care too much about the "helping people" part. Just the "inevitable change" part.

What about you guys? Do you like to hear other peoples' problems?

Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2009, 03:36:34 pm »

It wouldn't bother me if people I knew had problems that were non-trivial and involved going to a pub to talk it out.
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Kagus

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2009, 03:41:07 pm »

I love helping people with their problems.  But I actually do it for the "helping them" part. 

Then again, I also really enjoy giving foot massages for some reason.  Guess I'm just strange.

Rashilul

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2009, 03:48:13 pm »

You're old, Umiman, you got enough to worry about.
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Jude

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2009, 04:04:17 pm »

If it's somebody I care about and I'm not in a shitty mood.



BTW, I'm unemployed and running out of money. That get you your kicks?
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umiman

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2009, 04:14:16 pm »

If it's somebody I care about and I'm not in a shitty mood.



BTW, I'm unemployed and running out of money. That get you your kicks?
Why would it? I like change, not stagnation.

I should be specific though. I enjoy listening to people who want to solve problems that could change their lifestyles.

Footkerchief

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2009, 04:17:43 pm »

She said she found a video on her brother's computer which basically showed her brother (younger than her, and she was 16 at the time) having relations with their piano teacher... in their house. When no one was at home. So, she wanted to know what to do with the information.

Wait, so what'd you tell her?
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Mr Tk

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2009, 07:29:11 pm »

Sorry to derail your thread umiman but like ^^ I'm kind of curious to the outcome.
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Strife26

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2009, 08:40:56 pm »

Okay. How's this?

I'm a senior involved in a bunch of other activities as well as work and advanced classes. I'm getting tired of it. I want nothing more than to command tanks in my country's army.

On one hand, I could slack off this year. I'm more than smart enough to easily score enough on my ASVAB to get my choice of field (actually, I've already got a high enough score, I'd probably study anyway and score even better). By next summer, I could get into basic, followed by Armor training in Kentucky and get my nice okay paying job as an E-3. I'd also have chance (being a relatively bright fellow) of getting noticed and being advanced into West Point pain free.

OR I could keep suffering through this year, wavering back and forth between doing my homework and typing things like this, trying to keep my head above water. I hated last year, and this year won't be much better. I also have to find time to get in better shape. I don't have a prayer of passing any ROTC physical tests (as opposed to enlisted, where they don't really care). If I can do really well, I could get into West Point, a school that I absolutely love. Assuming I do slightly less well (this would be my expected outcome), I could try for a normal ROTC in a school. Possibly, I could end up at a Senior Military Institute like Norwich (which would be okay, but has such annoyances like morning PT). Below that, we have an average college with ROTC, probably NDSU.
Of course, it's also quite possible that I'd burn out this year and/or do something regretable like destory my chances of either option.
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Kagus

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2009, 08:49:26 pm »

I'm not entirely certain that he was asking for people to supply their problems for his reviewing...   I think it was mostly just to check how many similarly inclined people were users on the forum.

sonerohi

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2009, 09:31:18 pm »

She said she found a video on her brother's computer which basically showed her brother (younger than her, and she was 16 at the time) having relations with their piano teacher... in their house. When no one was at home. So, she wanted to know what to do with the information.

Wait, so what'd you tell her?

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« Last Edit: October 05, 2009, 09:34:35 pm by sonerohi »
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umiman

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2009, 10:10:30 pm »

Footkerchief / Mr. TK: I'm sure you're expecting some answer where miracles happen and the free world is united in peace or something, but it's nothing dramatic. I asked her what she expected to come out of this if she told anyone about the affair, whether she wanted her family ruined because of a situation not-well-understood. She seemed pretty pissed and confused, so I told her that this situation could afford a few days of her trying to sort out what was going on and think about the correct choice: whether to tell, to do nothing, or confront either party about it. I told her that it would be better to try and find out what exactly is going on and why they were doing what they were doing.

Finally, I asked her why she found this a problem and whether she'd want overzealousness and panic to be something she'd have on her mind for the rest of her life as she thinks back about that day. I have no idea what she actually did, though she did not entertain my idea of sending me the videos so I could "better understand the problem".

Strife: Do you really want my opinion? Honestly, it sounds like you already know the answer yourself. And pretty confidently in fact. I will state I have no clue how the career choices are in the US military and whether or not either option is good or even if there are any other options that you could pursue. But I'm sure everyone here can see, and probably you yourself realized as you typed that out, that you much prefer one of the options there over the other.

I guess that, however, while you seem confident about one of the choices, you wouldn't be worried about the problem unless there was something further about that choice which could prevent it from working out. If anything, it sounds like the reason you're worried about the second choice over the first is because the second gives you a better chance of getting into your first-choice school?

Strife26

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2009, 10:47:06 pm »

I forgot to mention, the first choice gets me in as enlisted (unless I get the nice active duty to academy spot) while the second gets me an officer spot.


Honestly, I really just want to get myself into active duty. My parents however, are relatively against the enlisted path.

You know, typing that out really did put it in perspective for me somewhat. Thanks.
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chaoticag

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2009, 03:48:17 am »

It has beena a while since I met anyone that is facing serious problems. There is a guy here that wanted to be a detective but was sent by his dad to pursue an engineering career. He is on top of that though, so it is more of an obstacle than a problem.

To be honest, I'm dealing with problems of my own.
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Nilocy

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Re: Listening to other people's problems
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2009, 06:39:58 am »

Hi Umiman. I'm a 19 year old something guy. Looking for some relationship advice. I fancy my pet cat and I can't seem to get its attention. How can I ask him out?

Thanks, Nilocy.


P.s Listening to problems is always good. It works both ways tbh, you learn something about yourself... like practise about what you'd do in that situation... or something, and your helping a friend out, which is always good.
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