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Author Topic: Josh's Things-Are-Looking-Up-Maybe Blog  (Read 18534 times)

Cthulhu

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Re: Josh is in College, but at home right now.
« Reply #255 on: December 06, 2009, 03:11:39 pm »

I cheered up with some Texas Holdem, but I do always feel like I'm missing out on some skills that differentiates myself from other people. In a negative way, of course.

Like, for instance, my biggest fear is making people think I'm emotionally needy, so to prevent that, I never ask anyone for anything, I never try to hang out with anybody, I pretty much won't start a conversation that isn't already very obvious, or force my way into anybody's group. Though, I think by doing this, I've condemned myself to defacto loneliness.

Though, it does feel VERY weird when people want to hang out with me, and not the other way around, and I'm so used to these ideals I follow, plus the whole inferiority complex thing, that makes it seems bizarre.

I have the same thing.  I never ask anyone for anything or initiate conversations unless I have to.  I also have this weird anxiety thing where if someone laughs near me, I almost reflexively check myself to make sure I'm not the source of the laughter.  I know they're not laughing at me, but even when it's under control I can feel a twinge.  I'm super-friendly and charismatic on the internet though, although I still try to keep the conversation focused on the other person, fearing that I'll look self-centered if I talk too much about myself.
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CobaltKobold

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #256 on: December 06, 2009, 03:18:07 pm »

As soon as you get one, you can ask to be introduced to others. It's the bootstrapping process from being a disconnected node that's tricky. (or connecting two forests of nodes)

And the table tennis suggests that you interact fairly regularly in some manner.
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Neither whole, nor broken. Interpreting this post is left as an exercise for the reader.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #257 on: December 06, 2009, 03:20:05 pm »

As soon as you get one, you can ask to be introduced to others. It's the bootstrapping process from being a disconnected node that's tricky. (or connecting two forests of nodes)

And the table tennis suggests that you interact fairly regularly in some manner.

Yeah, the table tennis guys are really nice, and I said I was trying to become more social. So I guess I'm making progress afterall.
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ToonyMan

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #258 on: December 06, 2009, 03:20:40 pm »

Well, this year has definitely been my best so far.  I fear not of anxiety and laugh in the face of nervitude.  A lot of kids are friendly to me, you just need to avoid the usual bunch.  It's pretty noticeable too when you get picked by team captain during gym.  Hah, that was a good matball game. (think kickball, but twice as hard with mats)  Whenever I get someone out or kick it or whatever people cheer me on so it's cool.  Even if I screw up it isn't so bad.
Yeah, I would hate if I had to leave my school or whatever, I have a lot of friends there now.  Since this school year I have been chill, relaxed, and cool.  That's the best advice, just be cool.  Don't try, just do it man.  Make conversation if you want to, but don't make it like you're just doing it because you have to, but cause you want to.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2009, 03:28:31 pm by ToonyMan »
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CobaltKobold

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #259 on: December 06, 2009, 03:22:59 pm »

Well, this year hasn't defiantly been my best so far.
handy hint  ;)
Quote from: ToonyMan
I fear not of anxiety and laugh in the face of nervitude.  A lot of kids are friendly to me, you just need to avoid the usual bunch.  It's pretty noticeable too when you get picked by team captain during gym.  Hah, that was a good matball game. (think kickball, but twice as hard with mats)  Whenever I get someone out or kick it or whatever people cheer me on so it's cool.  Even if I screw up it isn't so bad.
Yeah, I would hate if I had to leave my school or whatever, I have a lot of friends there now.  Since this school year I have been chill, relaxed, and cool.  That's the best advice, just be cool.  Don't try, just do it man.  Make conversation if you want to, but don't make it like you're just doing it because you have to, but cause you want to.
Indeed.
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ToonyMan

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #260 on: December 06, 2009, 03:28:45 pm »

That sentence was wrong in two ways.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #261 on: December 06, 2009, 05:14:18 pm »

I'm glad to hear everyone is doing pretty alright, Toony and Cthulhu.

Did people use to laugh at you alot Cthulhu?
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Cthulhu

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #262 on: December 06, 2009, 05:19:50 pm »

Not really.  It's just a thing, I dunno.
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Reasonableman

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #263 on: December 06, 2009, 10:34:00 pm »

That sounds an awful lot like me, Cthulhu. Just recently, though, it blossomed into a full-blown personality disorder, replete with depression, obsessive compulsions, and panic attacks, hoorah.
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Akigagak

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #264 on: December 06, 2009, 11:28:21 pm »

Yeah, what Reasonable said, but without the personality disorder.

My collage has been awesome so far, although we mainly stick to our class groups while outside of lessons, if we're on campus. All the major dicks ended up in the other class, which is bad for a couple of my friends, but my class has been great, even if we're easily distracted from the work and start having a random discussions.
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

JoshuaFH

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #265 on: December 12, 2009, 03:12:30 pm »

I hope your collage turns out well.

I feel a little bad because I wouldn't go to a christmas party that was being held before break. Now, if the party had been in the canteen, I'd have gone, because I feel comfortable in the canteen, but it was in the gymnasium... Now, just to let everyone know, I have really bad memories of things that happen in gymnasiums. Just the unique smell that they have is enough to almost give me a panic attack, there's no way I could tie being in a gym and close social interaction and not get a catastrophe.

Instead, I stayed in my room and played FFX, which makes me feel pathetic.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2009, 03:14:12 pm by JoshuaFH »
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Zironic

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #266 on: December 12, 2009, 03:16:22 pm »

1. Everyone feels the effects of the spotlight a.k.a psychologist found when they made people wear horrendous T-shirts they would think everyone is looking at them, when only 20% would even notice them.

2.I just finished my first quarter. I made two pretty good friends after I lost all my highschool friends and stopped going to Frat parties.
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ToonyMan

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #267 on: December 12, 2009, 04:34:04 pm »

Meh, my grandpa died.  :[

I have to go to a wake Monday.
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Akigagak

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #268 on: December 12, 2009, 08:23:23 pm »

I hope your collage turns out well.

Heh, I keep typing that by accident.
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

JoshuaFH

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Re: Josh, half-man/half-blog, is in College
« Reply #269 on: December 12, 2009, 09:12:25 pm »

Meh, my grandpa died.  :[

I have to go to a wake Monday.

I'm really sorry to hear that Toony. Were you really close to him?

One of my family's secrets is that my grandpa was in the Detroit mafia, ran numbers and drugs, served 20 years in prison, nearly killed my grandma, murdered atleast 2 people, was machine-gunned in retaliation by a rival mob, survived but became a half-paralyzed drug addict with only one side of his body working (his right side), became a recluse in a dank, old home situated in the most forested, out of the way place you could imagine and lived there for the remainder of his life where he then died miserable and alone of hepatitis. His last phone call was to my mom, when he told her to come by and pick up his house keys, an unusual request since he guarded his keys with his life, and was dead by the time we got there. True story.

That probably won't cheer you up, but I thought I'd let you know that my family is pretty screwed up. I could go on and on about the long list of terrible conditions my family live in, and the various terrible things they've done.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2009, 09:15:54 pm by JoshuaFH »
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