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[Eagle]

Im usually a human fighter/sorcerer/dragon disciple. Yes, unimaginative.

Heh, i remember like my 2nd or 3rd session, we were going through some caves, and a bunch of snipers ambushed us from a ledge in a large cave. Our ranger scuttled back behind some stalactites, and started sniping back, while i ran to the rope ladder that they hadnt managed to pull up and started climbing. Halfway up, an enemy sorcerer looks down, spots me on the ladder, and sets me of fire. Which burns up the rope. Sending me falling down to the ground. The fall plus the fire brought me down to exactly 1 hp, and my next turn, powered by sheer rage, climb up the ledge barehanded (it was like a 60 foot high ledge too), grab a bunch of kobolds by the ankles and throw them across the cave to their deaths.

The other time (as the same fighter) i used a greatsword to assassinate a guardhouse full of about 30 soldiers. Without being detected.

And then the old lady that gave us the quest wouldnt open up her door. Went something like this:

Eagle knocks on the door
DM: no anwser
Eagle knocks on the door
DM: no anwser
Eagle knocks on the door
DM: no anwser
Eagle knocks o-EAGLE KICKS THE FUCKING DOOR IN.

Good times, good times; although i rarely get to play now, and i get alot of fun simply from making up characters and monsters, as well as designing quests.

[Jack_Bread]

Whenever I make a badass character, he tends to screw up everything. Like, I made a strong-silent type samurai and his rolls kept hitting <10.
He died soon, anyway.

[Deimos56]

I just play spellcasters. Any of them. Wild mages are... interesting.

Oh, and because of a game played when me and my oldest younger sibling were both young, he cringes every time the words Critical and Flick are brought up in a sentence.
...He was a druid, the DM (dad) was obviously bored, mentioned a beetle walking by... and my brother rolled to hit it.

[JoshuaFH]

I just play spellcasters. Any of them. Wild mages are... interesting.

Oh, and because of a game played when me and my oldest younger sibling were both young, he cringes every time the words Critical and Flick are brought up in a sentence.
...He was a druid, the DM (dad) was obviously bored, mentioned a beetle walking by... and my brother rolled to hit it.

I don't play DnD, what's the joke?

[Eagle]

He critically flicked the beetle?

Epic successes remind me of this one time when we were clearing out a dungeon, and found a drow prisoner. Didnt feel like releasing him, so we tried to grill him for info on the people we were hired to find down here. He refuses. Diplomacy check. Fail. So, i grab one of the empty potion bottles, walk out of his sight, and take a leak. Then i walk back and tell him its an extremely deadly poison and that we'd administer it to him if he didnt cooperate. Bluff check. Keep in mind that i had huge penalties on any communications skills. NATURAL 20. He dissolved into a blathering wreck.

[JoshuaFH]

He critically flicked the beetle?

Epic successes remind me of this one time when we were clearing out a dungeon, and found a drow prisoner. Didnt feel like releasing him, so we tried to grill him for info on the people we were hired to find down here. He refuses. Diplomacy check. Fail. So, i grab one of the empty potion bottles, walk out of his sight, and take a leak. Then i walk back and tell him its an extremely deadly poison and that we'd administer it to him if he didnt cooperate. Natural 20 on a bluff check. He dissolved into a blathering wreck.

DnD, where it's not only OK to threaten prisoners with bottles of piss, it's brutally effective!

[Eagle]

He critically flicked the beetle?

Epic successes remind me of this one time when we were clearing out a dungeon, and found a drow prisoner. Didnt feel like releasing him, so we tried to grill him for info on the people we were hired to find down here. He refuses. Diplomacy check. Fail. So, i grab one of the empty potion bottles, walk out of his sight, and take a leak. Then i walk back and tell him its an extremely deadly poison and that we'd administer it to him if he didnt cooperate. Natural 20 on a bluff check. He dissolved into a blathering wreck.

DnD, where it's not only OK to threaten prisoners with bottles of piss, it's brutally effective!

Yep, natural 20's are awesome. Natural 1's on the other hand....

We played with a rule that if you got a critical, then rolled a 20 on the roll to determine critical, you rolled again to see if you instakilled. If you roll a 1, you fumble your weapon and roll to see if you hit yourself. This is how it went down (keep in mind im wielding a greatsword, which is about 6 feet long):

DM: roll to hit
Eagle: (rolls 1)
DM: roll to see if you hit yourself
Eagle: (rolls 20)
(silence)
DM: ummm, roll for critical
Eagle: (rolls 20)
DM:.............roll for instakill
Eagle: (panicking, rolls like a 3)
DM: You somehow manage to nearly impale yourself on your own sword. Luckily you missed vital organs. You are dropped down to 0 health.

Luckily, we had our bipolar, agnostic cleric there to patch me up.

[Cthulhu]

There was a story on /tg/, I don't know how true it was, about a level 4 or something Paladin who was the only one in a campaign to survive an ambush because he was the only one smart enough not to walk into it.  He went out to challenge the BBEG(An epic-level Half-Dragon Orc).  When he found him, he challenged him to single combat, rolled a critical failure, and then because the DM used some kind of critical failure table, managed to roll "You and nearest character die"

Whoever thought that was a good critical failure result needs to be punched in the face.

[Heron TSG]

One of my favorite scenarios from my current campaign-

DM: You're in a long dark hallway. There's a winding staircase at the far right end of the hall and the far left end contains two doors. There are steel brackets holding torches spaced every two feet down the hall.

Me: Grapple a torch off of the wall to use as an improvised weapon. (I already have weapons, but it's the point of the matter!)

DM: What? Okay, fine. Roll for at least a 15.

Me: Rolls a 3

DM: You attempt to grapple a torch off of the wall, but instead grapple a brick. You do not pry it loose.

Paladin: Hey, let me try!

DM: *sigh* fine.

[Eagle]

Current campaign opening:

DM: You wake up. You are choking.
Eagle: OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT "I PUNCH WHATEVERS CHOKING ME!!!"
DM: ...........
DM: Fine, you swing at the smoke filled air. You fall out of bed onto your face.

Turns out, the entire city was ablaze, and the smoke was choking me; i jumped to the conclusion that it was an assassin or something.

[Jack_Bread]

One of my favorite moments while playing Adandul(the imp), was after looting a tomb full of undead, the group was sorting out the treasure. I usually try to snatch a piece of the loot for myself and pretend that was how much we had, so I'd still get an equal portion. Anyway, I attempted to take one of the gems, but someone caught me. It was the rogue and when she saw me take it, she fired an arrow at me and nearly killed me.

They scolded me(except for my partner who doesn't care about my theft) and healed me. They try to keep the loot in sight at all time now.

[Gorjo MacGrymm]

I remember a moment when (in my first uber power game with a new DM) he attacks us with a 68th level arch-lich-mage witch.  We were about 18th level.  The with brought her 1400 ton 35' tall adamantite golem with her.  The Dm smiles evilly at us.  Then i reminded him he gave me teleport object with unlimited weight and distance, at WILL.  For the next few hours we hashed out the physics of 1400 ton adamantite golems kinetic striking castles from orbit......sigh, good times.

[userpay]

God you guys are seriously making me wish I could find people to play (not to mention people who have the stuff, I've got zip) with. That last one in particular was fucking hilarious. Ah well I guess I'll have to stick with DDO.

[Jack_Bread]

SRDs are good.

[userpay]

SRDs are good.

That helps though still dont have other shit or people to play with lol.