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Author Topic: Tourniquet - Gone to the... Pub.  (Read 14708 times)

rosedrake

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Re: Tourniquet - The origins of the Dungeon Master
« Reply #45 on: October 10, 2009, 07:50:36 am »

:"D tiny interesting bits!

:o i read this too, and i find it more likable every time i go back here to read an update.

can Rosie be a cameo? you can make her whatever you want, but keep her an antisocial girl. :>
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Servu

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Re: Tourniquet - The origins of the Dungeon Master
« Reply #46 on: October 10, 2009, 12:55:13 pm »

So wait... I got the neck tattoo but not the chest or hand ones, so I only got the cat right? Behold my great powers of FPS killing!
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Tack

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Re: Tourniquet - The origins of the Dungeon Master
« Reply #47 on: October 10, 2009, 05:51:25 pm »

Servu... You got it at twelve, and you are now thirty seven... I wouldn't expect your fitness to keep you to speed: 0 for that long.

Rosedrake: So you're saying my writing is actually getting better the further i go with this? I thought it was the opposite.




EDIT: Sorry for not posting, I'm way behind
« Last Edit: November 11, 2009, 05:18:07 am by Tack »
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

rosedrake

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Re: Tourniquet - The origins of the Dungeon Master
« Reply #48 on: October 11, 2009, 01:27:38 am »

well, i'm seeing the story develop, more about the world, interesting things... and yeah, your writing's getting better, i think. the way you described the GCS, man, even one of them could make civilian dorves wet their pants, adil's group was against like three of them.

i'll be waiting for an update!
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Tack

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Re: Tourniquet - The origins of the Dungeon Master
« Reply #49 on: October 11, 2009, 05:17:56 am »

earrrghh. Sorry, I need a little bit off. Maybe tomorrow.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Tack

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 words!
« Reply #50 on: October 11, 2009, 07:27:22 am »

I'm just going to ignore what I posted above...

“Not exactly”, came a voice from the side.
The three turned, to see Adil sliding down a rope into the bedroom, out of the middle of an old, dead tree. Adil stepped away from the rope, as Tanesh began to come down the rope, bearing a massive sack. “His father is, possibly every surviving relative he has is, but not this-un.”
Ignoring Motev’s agitation, he softly kicked the limp Servu on the back of the hand. “No tattoos on the chest or hand, as you yourselves have seen,” indicating the pulled away shirt. Turen looked up at Adil. “He never finished his training.”
“Too right. He’ll have to tell you the story later”. Motev burst out with. “Why the hell are you here!?”
“Oh... didn’t I say that? I’m sure I. Oh well... There’s a huge fucking army outside.”
“There’s huge fucking spiders in here!”
Adil looked over in surprise. “And none of you are dead?”
“No, but serv-“
“I was getting to that”, Said Adil. “And Servu didn’t stop them?”
Now it was Turen’s turn to stare in surprise. “He... uh, he slowed it. But it sti-“
“Damn. A fully trained Zustash would have had it eating out of their hand upon it seeing them. Obviously he was relying too heavily on inherent power, rather than any education. What’s with his neck?”
Both Motev and Turen shouted “He got bitten!” In unison. Almost in response to the shouts, a slithering seemed to come from one of the many chutes.
Turen turned towards it, dragging an aged table to prop against the hole as Tanesh joined the group, dropping his monstrous sack. Adil walked over to it. “As I was saying, there’s an army out there. A big one. I had to ditch the caravan.” Just as Siira was about to talk, Adil turned to her and interrupted “You had too much luggage. We ditched it, except for the essentials.” “But I had a-“
Adil fixed her with a harsh stare. “All of it, except for the essentials.” Siira sat, mortified. “I’d consider it an essential.”
Spinning, Adil checked out the holes in Servu’s neck. “Hmm... He’ll survive. Hopefully he should be back up in half an hour”.
Motev turned away from the lock he was working on “Half an hour!?”
Calmly, Adil replied. “He’s got the right breeding for it. Just not the know-how”.

Adil replaced Servu’s collar, as a loud “Ka-chunk” came from where Motev was working. Motev turned, and held up the second map piece. “Can we go now?”
“No, I already said there’s an army out there.”
“And I already said that there’s giant cave spiders in here!”
Turning, Adil looked at the passageway which the table was now blocking. Swiftly, he walked to it, pulling out his pick. Levering it aside slightly with his pick, he looked down the passageway, just to see eight eyes look back at him. Shoving the table back into place, he turned, putting his back against it. Looking up, at the rope, he said “I may just have an idea”.


The commander sat, bored, as the caravan slowly eked its way up the hill. The soldiers were taking turns pushing them, to try and get a bit more speed, but after three weeks of forced marching, they were too tired to be of use. Luckily, he’d only lost two soldiers, both of who were heard complaining about the effort of the journey. They were summarily executed. One thing that the commander did not like was criticism. As the caravan reached the top of the hill, he could almost hear the entire army sigh with relief. Ignoring it for now, the commander leaned forward in his seat to see the northern temple complex to armok. The wagon topped the rise, the commander gave an involuntary shudder, and the one-third Episcopal army suddenly became half.

Ushering everyone out before him, Adil turned back to the Table. Pulling the rope – which was hanging from the ceiling – towards the table, he punched a hole through the top with his pick, and tied the rope to it, trying not to make his hands vulnerable. Then, walking underneath the limp rope, Adil pulled as hard as he could, then, hearing the crash behind him, jumped up and began climbing for all hell.

Scouts ran to the commander, war in their eyes as they reported. “Movement near the dead tree to the right. No robes, therefore enemy.”  The commander calmly stared at the reporting scout. “I could have ascertained that they were enemy myself”, he remarked harshly. “You are removed from duty, permanently. I suggest you start walking to the nearest town.” The ex-scout immediately set off, wise enough to not look back. The Commander looked to the other scout. “Battle formations. You are in the front line.” The scout hurried off. The commander watched as the soldiers marshalled, and quick-marched towards the dead tree. Just as they were about to reach it, another small figure jumped out of it and ran off to the right, climbing the complex wall. The Commander watched in satisfaction as a detachment of ten dwarves split off to tail the dwarf, the rest surrounding the tree stump. Just as they were about to enter, a giant cave spider flowed out of the gap in the tree, followed by another, and another, and another, until eight were attacking the surprised army. Watching the battle unfold, the commander took out his drawing pallet, scribbling down the main features of the battle, so that he could finish it later in the privacy of his tent. Unconcerned for the men and dwarves dying, he sent his reserve squad to follow the dwarf, keeping only his honour guard with him.


Adil ran gasping through the brush, the clash of soldiers’ feet behind him. Moving around a tree, he sprinted along, anywhere, too afraid to know where his pack might be. As he ran though, a elven figure swept upside down from an overhanging tree branch, cutting the throats of the two last soldiers in line. Turen, following the soldiers, dropped the seventh without a sound. As Adil ran, he could hear another sound over the sound of boots on twigs. An ominous grating sound, which turned out to be a growl, as Perkele caught up to the last soldier in line. As the dog ravaged the rest of the soldiers, Motev stepped out in front of Adil. “The dog was... agitated when we brought Servu back injured. I think it needed that.” Adil turned, watching the devastation as a very angry dog cut through very scared soldiers. “Aye... That the bastard certainly did. C’mon, I’ve got an Idea where we can get a new wagon”. Turning, the dwarves started walking through the bush, Tanesh helping the recovering Servu walk.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

smjjames

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Re: Tourniquet - The second temple
« Reply #51 on: October 11, 2009, 08:49:50 am »

Truth be told, I was actually waiting for someone to reply before I posted my next bit. As far as I know, Servu, Cirius, and The Architect are the only people who read this.

Actually, I read it last night (and the most recent bit this morning) and I think it's a very good story. :)

That commander is damn harsh, but then again, he does serve Armok himself/herself/itself.
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Tack

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 words!
« Reply #52 on: October 11, 2009, 05:58:43 pm »

Heh, I didn't know people actually read this. What a shock.

Anyway, what's the point of having a likeable villa- Oh sweet, I gotta go!
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Servu

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 kills!... I mean words!
« Reply #53 on: October 12, 2009, 03:43:20 am »

Heh, I didn't know people actually read this. What a shock.

Anyway, what's the point of having a likeable villa- Oh sweet, I gotta go!

Do you know there has been over 500 views to this story already? Thats a bit more than just the posters here.
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Tack

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 kills!... I mean words!
« Reply #54 on: October 12, 2009, 03:45:21 am »

Yeah, I noticed the 10 to 1 read to write ratio. However, A lot of those would be people who go
"Oh, let's take a look? Oh, it's Tack's/A story/Not worth my time, and leave.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

martinuzz

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 kills!... I mean words!
« Reply #55 on: October 12, 2009, 05:28:15 am »

Hehe..  For me? I just don't have that much spare time on hand, to read all the stories on the forum.
Your posts in Cirius' story sparked my interest enough to check this out.

Must say, good story so far. Stealing Armok's stuff. Bad things are sure to happen. On the other hand, maybe you're pleasing Armok instead, by spilling blood in his temples.
I'll be reading more of it.  :)
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Vlynndar

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 kills!... I mean words!
« Reply #56 on: October 12, 2009, 07:36:29 am »

Just read through it all. I like.
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For that viciously bad pun, I'm gonna introduce a NPC named Vlynndar just so that I can kill him of in a cruel and unusual way.
Watermelons are pretty important.

Tack

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 kills!... I mean words!
« Reply #57 on: October 17, 2009, 09:59:47 pm »

Oh, sorry guys. I just don't have the work ethic to continue this story, and I'd rather cut it short than keep you all waiting while I update twice-a-week.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

martinuzz

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 kills!... I mean words!
« Reply #58 on: October 18, 2009, 03:57:46 am »

Twice a week is no long wait. Even once a week is ok..
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Tack

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Re: Tourniquet - Hooray for 11,111 kills!... I mean words!
« Reply #59 on: October 18, 2009, 05:04:45 am »

Mmmmyeah... I'll update tomorrow then. I need to read back over my own story.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.
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