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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Heyyyyyyyyy
You: You, me.
You: Waffle iron.
You: Hot.
You: Steaming.
You: Waffle action.
You: Are you in?
Stranger: Yes.
You: Alright, let's do this!
Stranger: Okay then!
You: Turn on the waffle iron, I'll get the batter ready.
Stranger: **turns it on**
You: I find a bowl in the cabinet.
You: Put it on the counter.
You: Watch out, the stove is hot for some reason.
You: And then I pour the batter into the bowl.
Stranger: **puts it on the counter**
Stranger: Done.
You: Alright.
Stranger: Okay. Hurry. We don't have much time.
You: Why, what's going to happen?
Stranger: I'm not sure.
You: Well
You: You can't rush waffles.
You: So whatever it is will have to wait.
Stranger: Why is the stove hot?
You: I don't know.
You: Just don't touch it.
Stranger: See, and I don't know why we don't have time.
You: Here, put this chef hat on.
You: I put on a chef hat.
Stranger: **puts it on**
You: And and apron.
You: And an apron, even.
Stranger: **puts on apron** I feel ready.
You: Alright, now we're chefs.
Stranger: Good.
Stranger: I didn't know this could happen over night.
You: I crack some eggs, and put them in the batter.
You: And then I stir.
You: Slowly, slowly.
You: Ohhh, yeah.
Stranger: Mmm, it's coming along good.
You: Yeah, it's great.
You: We need syrup.
You: I rummage through the pantry.
Stranger: What will I do?
You: We're out of syrup.
Stranger: Damnit.
You: The batter needs love.
You: Love the batter.
You: I'll go to the store and get some more syrup.
You: I get in my car.
You: And drive to the store.
You: I walk into the store, and get some syrup off the shelf.
Stranger: And I'll love the batter.
Stranger: I'm loving the batter.
You: Whisper sweet nothings in its ear.
Stranger: I am. And my eyes are closed.
You: I buy the syrup, and get back in my car.
Stranger: I keep having this lovely moment with the batter.
You: I'm back.
Stranger: I welcome you back with a hug.
You: I hug you back, but not long.
You: Because the waffles need to be made.
Stranger: Yes.
You: Put the batter in the iron.
You: I'll make orange juice.
You: This is gonna be the best breakfast ever.
Stranger: I put the batter in the iron.
You: I go weak-kneed from the sizzling sound.
Stranger: I get excited.
You: I get some oranges and slice them in half.
Stranger: I watch.
You: Get some glasses.
You: I apologize to the oranges.
You: Because oranges have feelings too.
Stranger: I feel sad for teh oranges. But get some glasses anyway.
Stranger: *The
You: They know their sacrifice.
Stranger: Yes.
You: I squeeze the oranges into the glass.
You: Mmm, orange juice.
Stranger: Yummy.
You: Orange juice is gross right after brushing your teeth though.
Stranger: Oh yes.
Stranger: It is.
You: I fondle the oranges, getting every last drop of juice out.
You: There we go.
You: Alright.
You: Now.
You: We wait.
Stranger: What do we do now?
You: We wait.
Stranger: Okay.
You: I lean against the counter and whistle a jaunty tune.
Stranger: I bob my head.
You: I flip through my waffle-themed pinup calendar.
Stranger: I look at the lovely hosue cat we have.
Stranger: And pet her.
Stranger: *house
You: I secretly resent the cat, and wish we had a Boston terrier.
Stranger: I wish we had a fish. But the kitty would not like that.
You: *Ding*
You: Waffles are done!
Stranger: Yes!
You: I open the iron.
Stranger: I watch.
You: And inhale the intoxicating aroma deeply.
You: I exhale shudderingly.
Stranger: I do the same.
You: Delicious.
Stranger: Very.
You: I put a waffle on my plate.
You: And then put one on yours.
You: I grab some silverware and a glass of orange juice.
You: And run to the table.
Stranger: I walk over to the table, and sit down next to you.
You: I put syrup on the waffle.
You: Yeah, take it waffle. Take it all.
Stranger: I do the same. Enjoying it for some reason.
You: There's nothing wrong with enjoying covering a waffle with hot, sticky syrup.
Stranger: Good, I don't feel as creepy now.
Stranger: I start eating.
You: WAIT!
You: Heathen.
You: We have to say grace first.
Stranger: Oh, right.
You: I say grace.
Stranger: I listen.
You: Amen!
Stranger: Amen!
You: RIP AND TEAR
Stranger: Now we eat.
You: I start eating the waffle.
You: I ravish the waffle's tender flesh with my knife.
Stranger: I do the same.
You: I eat some waffle.
You: This is
You: The best
You: Waffle
You: Ever
Stranger: I couldn't agree more.
You: It took four lines to contain its goodness.
Stranger: Yes.
You: I can't take it anymore, I must have it all, and I must have it now.
You: I tear into the waffle.
You: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Stranger: NOM NOM NOM!
Stranger: The cat gives us looks.
Stranger: Because we are eating like freaks.
You: I give the cat a pointed stare.
You: The cat doesn't know about waffles.
You: It doesn't understand.
Stranger: It doesn't know waffles goodness.
You: There is nothing in the world better than homemade waffles, made with a real waffle iron.
Stranger: I know.
Stranger: It's amazing.
Stranger: The best thing ever.
You: I'd eat them all day but I'd get fat.
You: But then again, that's almost a fair trade.
You: I have finished my waffle.
Stranger: As have I.
You: I lick the syrup up.
Stranger: I watch.
You: Mmm, syrup.
Stranger: Yummy syrup.
You: I take my dishes to the kitchen.
You: And put them in the dishwasher.
Stranger: I do the same.
You: I use a napkin to get the syrup off of my lips.
Stranger: I just lick my lips.
You: I give the cat one last pointed stare.
You: Take off my hat and apron.
You: And put them on the hook.
Stranger: I do the same.
You: Well then.
You: You are a worthy waffle-partner.
Stranger: Thank you. This means a lot coming from you.
You: It's well-deserved.
You: But now I must be on my way.
You: Goodbye! And may you have many more waffles like these.
Stranger: We shall speak later, maybe cook again sometime.
You: Perhaps.
Stranger: Goodbye.
Stranger: Maybe.
Stranger: I have enjoyed this breakfast. Well, goodbye then.
You: Goodbye!
Stranger: Goodbye!
You: Took you a long time to type that.
Stranger: I know it did.
You: Syrup makes your keys sticky.
You: Should use a napkin.
You: Goodbye.
Stranger: I probably should.
Stranger: Goodbye.
You have disconnected.
And yes, this indeed made me happy.