the white sauce made with dehydrated milk didn't turn out horrible!
Like. It's not amazing. But it made some okay potato soup, and indicates going forward I can, just. Stock some dehydrated milk, for cook-y things. Had never gotten around to actually trying to cook with the stuff, and now I have and it's middling and middling is just fine.
One time one of my friends got exiled to the Cayman islands to audit some hotels. He was 25 and had no qualifications or experience relating to auditing whatsoever, and was a part-time junior on a zero hour contract. They sent him fully expecting him to fail, because they needed to send someone just so they could claim they were doing something. So they sent the most qualified cheapest person they could find. He began obssessively reading all these food economic books so he could understand food pricing. His first challenge was getting the special white sauce recipe from a chef who wanted to keep his recipes secret
The Audinator: Could you give me the white sauce recipe
Chef: Sure, later
[Chef goes to prepare some food. The audinator is always behind him. Every time the chef moves, the audinator follows].
Chef: I'll get you the recipe later
The Audinator: Yes
[The Audinator does not leave]
Chef: You don't have to be here. I'll get you the recipe when I'm done here
The Audinator: I know. I will be here until I get the recipe
So chef man begins getting panicked as the audinator is relentless. The audinator picks up on extra croissants being made "off the books" with company flour and is all:
The Audinator: one or two croissants going missing is to be expected. Over three dozen ghost croissants a day is too many. Where are the croissants?
Chef: Uh...
The Audinator: WHERE ARE THE CROISSANTS CHEF?
Chef: Don't know what you're talking about
The Audinator: I am not someone you should be afraid of. I don't want anyone to lose their job. But the guy I work for will fire you unless I can find a way to explain this many croissants being baked without orders.
Chef: Maybe the orders weren't written down
The Audinator: I will write a new SOP for orders. [Leaves]
Chef breathes a sigh of relief and disappears. Audinator asks the other staff members if the chef is hiding from him and they say yeah because he's scared of him. Later that day Chef goes into the cooler room to hide, but the Audinator had been waiting there all day and emerges behind him
The Audinator: I need the stuffed eggplant recipe
Chef: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH