Finally went and used my health insurance to see a doctor just for introductory stuff, some basic bloodwork, and so I can schedule a full physical later. I haven't had a doctor's appointment proper in probably a decade, so I'm really pleased that I'm getting my health checked.
Anyways, I talked to the doctor about my anxiety, took a very brief survey, and now I've got a prescription for generic Lexapro. Picked it up same day for a whole three bucks. It's... that easy? As 'haven't seen a doctor in ten years' might indicate, I've never had a prescription before. I have no idea how this is going to make me feel (besides less anxious, generally) or what I'm going to go through with it, except for some uneasy reading about SSRIs and others' anecdotes (not helpful for my anxiety, hahaha). I'd say 'fuck it' and start today anyways, except for the other piece of good news-
I'm moving to Utah! I kindled a romance with a friend when I went out there for a week to visit and now we're going to be roommates or 'roommates.' I'm driving the way there with whatever I can fit in my standard fare sedan and I've got a month to jettison most of my stuff, which actually comes as something of a relief since it's going to lead me to complacence to stay here and be comfortable with things that I don't feel anything about (which, coincidentally, triggers my anxiety, but so does being in a store with loud people, forgetting to eat, having too much work to do, having not enough work to do...). The local cult and host of MLMs weird me out, but that's not really my problem.
So I've got brain pills now and that's spooky business to me and I'm thinking of holding off until I don't have to operate heavy machinery for a thousand miles to figure out if it works okay. I'm probably going to have to get over my own stigma of being someone with antidepressants just like I did over being someone who enjoys a greener buzz, but it should be good for my health. So should this move, and this relationship. Exciting times, eh.