Robert: "Son?"
Billy: "Yeah dad?"
Robert: "Son, I think it's time I talked with you about the birds and the bees and the bees and the bees and the bees and more bees..."
Beelly: "Uh, dad, I-"
Robeert: "...and the other bees bees and bees the bees bees bees"
Bee: "Bees bees bees bees?"
Bee: "Bees bees bees bees bees bees bees"
DAD: YOU SEE SON, PROCREATION IS A BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE. PLAYING FORTNITE EVERYDAY IS GENETIC HERESY. THE GREAT CHAIN OF BEING FROM OUR ANCESTORS INNUMERAL DATING BACK TO THE PRIMORDIAL OOZE WHICH SPAWNED OUR ACCURSED LINEAGE WILL NOT BE CONTINUED ON ITS DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ATAVISTIC TO THE ADAPTED BY YOU WASTING ALL OF YOUR TWITCHY-FINGER REFLEXES ON BEING THE LAST MAN STANDING ON A VIRTUAL CONFLICT. IN TRUTH, EVEN THE KING OF THE HILL WILL DIE. ONLY THROUGH A LEGACY WILL THE INFORMATION OUR ILK HAS ACCRUED BE EXPANDED, ONLY THROUGH IDLE CONSUMPTION SHALL OUR INEVITABLE DECAY INTO ENTROPY BE SECURED.
SON: BUT DAD, FORTNITE IS THE COURTSHIP RITUAL OF OUR GENERATION. DARE YOU JUDGE WHAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND? PERHAPS IN YOUR GENERATION YOUR FATHER BEFORE YOU MISJUDGED WHAT YOUR PEERS CONSIDERED COOL, AS YOU MISJUDGE ME. MY DANCES MAY SEEM SILLY AND ABUSRD, BUT PERHAPS THAT IS BECAUSE I POSSESS THE INNOCENCE OF ADOLESCENCE AND A WILLINGNESS TO BE ABSURD?
DAD: IN TRUTH, I DID NOT HAVE A FATHER. PERHAPS I HAVE OVERCOMPENSATED OUT OF AN ANXIETY TO ENSURE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER WITHOUT A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL AS I DID; IN MY OVERZEALOUSNESS TO PROVIDE YOU STRUCTURE I HAVE STIFLED YOU.
SON: I AM SORRY, I TOO OVERSTEPPED MY MARK IN BEING OVER-DEFENSIVE. OF COURSE I KNOW YOU ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR ME AND I UNDERSTAND THAT, I WAS JUST ANXIOUS BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY PLAYING A MULTIPLAYER GAME WITH MY COMRADES WHICH CANNOT BE PAUSED IN THE FACE OF THE ARROW OF TIME. THIS GAME HAS ME IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE AND IS NOT THE APPROPRIATE TIME TO BE DISCUSSING THE BIRDS OF THE BEES.
DAD: NEVERTHELESS, AT SOME POINT A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY WHICH CEASES TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SOME FORM OF REFLECTION OR REPRODUCTIVE ADVANTAGE IS IN THE END, A DEAD END. A MOMENT IN IDLENESS IS FATAL, A LIFETIME IN IDLENESS IS STERILE.
SON: SHALL MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE'S WORTH BE SUMMED UP IN THE SIZE OF MY LINEAGE? SHALL MY EXISTENCE THEN, BE JUDGED ON THE MERITS SOLELY OF EXISTENCE ITSELF? PRESUPPOSE I POSSESSED NO CONSCIOUSNESS, WOULD THEN I NOT BE AS WORTHLESS AS A MERE AMOEBA, REPRODUCING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE ITSELF?
DAD: THAT'S INCEL TALK, SON