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[Dunamisdeos]

Buncha Christians talk about teetotalism but Jesus didn't turn water into grape juice folks.

[A Thing]

Buncha Christians talk about teetotalism but Jesus didn't turn water into grape juice folks.

I mean, the most sensible thing is that at a wedding party they would serve grape juice right? How could wine ever mean wine, and not some other weird translation _{greek latin or fadeaofewrigojaregoiasjergaerjgi}

[Dunamisdeos]

Buncha Christians talk about teetotalism but Jesus didn't turn water into grape juice folks.

I mean, the most sensible thing is that at a wedding party they would serve grape juice right? How could wine ever mean wine, and not some other weird translation _{greek latin or fadeaofewrigojaregoiasjergaerjgi}

But in the latin alphabet, wine startsh with an v.

[A Thing]

But in the latin alphabet, wine startsh with an v.

Spoiler: Jesus got crucified jesus christ just let the man have some wine (click to show/hide)

[Sirus]

Buncha Christians talk about teetotalism but Jesus didn't turn water into grape juice folks.

Couldn't one argue that it'd actually be more miraculous to turn water into grape juice? I mean, if I remember correctly grape juice didn't really exist until pasteurization and modern refrigeration made it possible to mash up grapes without them starting to ferment almost instantly. Jesus creating something that wouldn't exist for nearly two thousand years would be quite remarkable.

Of course, that's not what happened in the story assuming the event took place at all. Hell, the other guests praised how good his wine was.

[hector13]

T’be fair, the water back then was presumably heavily watered down, the wine was to make the water safe to drink.

I changed my shift on Friday to start at 5.30am instead of 8am. Maybe I’ll arrive early enough to find a parking space.

[Il Palazzo]

the water back then was presumably heavily watered down

These days it's mostly Brawndo. It's got electrolytes.

[Sirus]

Ordinary drinking stuff, most assuredly, but IIRC the event in question took place at a wedding or some other celebration. Folks like to get drunk at such events, so I'm guessing the wine either wasn't watered down or was not watered down very much.

[Naturegirl1999]

Wine is very complex, containing multiple chemicals. Jesus would have had to take molecules from the air and break them in certain ways to get them to bond with the water. This likely would require lots heat and/or lots of pressure

[Il Palazzo]

Divine miracles laugh at your puny physics!

[Enemy post]

I'm surprised it took so long to invent non-alchoholic grape juice. I always assumed that was easier to make than wine.

[TamerVirus]

Real talk, the book tells us that JC turned dat water into purple drank and everyone got their lean on
_{Was that the right book...?}

[Sirus]

I'm surprised it took so long to invent non-alchoholic grape juice. I always assumed that was easier to make than wine.

It's because the skins of the grapes they used basically had yeast living on the surface. As soon as the grapes were mashed, the yeast was able to get to work on all that tasty sugary juice and get it fermenting quickly. Pasteurization kills the yeast before they can get started.

[Dunamisdeos]

I'm surprised it took so long to invent non-alchoholic grape juice. I always assumed that was easier to make than wine.

It's because the skins of the grapes they used basically had yeast living on the surface. As soon as the grapes were mashed, the yeast was able to get to work on all that tasty sugary juice and get it fermenting quickly. Pasteurization kills the yeast before they can get started.

Jesus be like hey folks you don't know what this is yet but I call it MONSTER ENERGY now let's get this party started for real my children PEACE ON EARTH.

*Dubstep starts, utter panic ensues*

[Reelya]

I don't know about Jesus's wine trick, however the "manna from heaven" the Israelites ate was almost certainly literally poop.

Let's check the story. The Israelites camped, at dusk some birds appeared, as if by magic. Most likely they've just camped near somewhere with water and there were trees there, and the birds were just roosting. Birds descending on a site at dusk is hardly magical or unexpected. Humans are going to be camping at a place with available water.

Then they say that in the morning, a white flaky substance had appeared on the ground as if from nowhere, and they ate it and it was sweet.

Well, we pretty much know what that's called. It's also called "honeydew". It's the poop of insects which drink tree sap. Exactly like this "manna", honeydew is called honeydew because it condenses out on the ground in the morning.