Had a sudden realization of how awesome I am as I
walkedstrode into the supermarket earlier. Melted away my anxiety and confusion and left me feeling quite buoyant. It was as though the well-rested, energized wellness I've been feeling lately suddenly made a return after ebbing somewhat over the past day or two.
I actually wasn't feeling too great for a lot of today. Too much brain-stuff going on, I think. Worries. Hopes. Relationships. Creeping dreads. Unlikely aspirations. All of those sort of things, all smashing around against one another in there. But then, as I hesitantly crept into the supermarket in the hopes of acquiring something to eat, I passed a couple of hippies at the entrance. I was feeling rather anxious (which was upsetting, since I have been mostly free of anxiety for a while now), but then for some reason after I shuffled past them and into the store the thought occurred to me that I probably seemed rather cool to them, with my hair and the moss thriving on the sleeves of my jacket.
And then I realised that, more importantly,
I thought I seemed pretty damn cool, with my hair and the moss and my boots and my wonderful, beautiful mind full of brilliance. And all of a sudden the meaningless soup of shit that had been boiling unpleasantly about in my brain-folds quieted down, its ingredients all seeming rather less important and problematic considering just how not-bad my life really is, when I think about it logically.
...Wow, what a nonsensical ramble that was. Sorry. Or not sorry? I'm having a hard time finding reasons to apologize for feeling good right now.
I was starting to worry that the weird, happy feeling caused by my new, less-awful sleeping habits was wearing off, but now it's back and this is good.