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[hops]

The advantage to being sober is that you aren't as short as people who drink.

You see

You're teetotaller.

[Rolan7]

Spoiler: on-topic (click to show/hide)

I would probably be defending alcohol again except that I'm currently struggling with it.  Most people can use it just fine, I just eventually developed an emotional need for it.  And video games, and solitude, and carby food, and even exercise.  Not to mention the unmentionable.  Alcohol's just easier than the rest to go too far with.  Most people don't.  I didn't for years. 

It's a tool that makes social interaction easier and more fun, it only becomes a problem when you rely on it to handle problems...
Like, right now, I'm only worried that I'll stress-drink and say something (I don't even know what) to someone I have a very complicated relationship with.  I really, REALLY shouldn't be letting my Id out this week.  Yet I really want to.

...Haha, I just realized that sentence applies perfectly well to both my father and my quasi-boyfriend.
Okay, this is happy:  Boyfriend-whatever is actually going pretty well.  He's still nice, and he's respecting me.

... I made soup!  It was very wet and had a lot of vegetables, and WAAAAY too much parsley.  Fortunately there's no such thing as too much parsley.  It was basically parsley tea with vegetables, and that made me happy.

[Draignean]

Okay, gather around and listen the fuck up...

    Brew coffee
    Let coffee cool
    Replace filter and coffee grounds with new filter and new coffee grounds.
    Pour first batch of coffee back into the coffee maker.
    Brew AGAIN
    Lift off

Let me tell you people something. I work nights and needed a way to stay energetic. I finally found the answer...

I just drank "double brewed coffee" and I feel like I can throw an orange at 60 percent the speed of light. Do you realize that if I had a boomerang right now I could kill god, eat his meat, and use his hide to stay warm during those long nights on the savanna? ENERGY. After drinking this special coffee I suddenly find myself triangulating coordinates and shit in my mind. I'm pretty sure if I was a floating head that I'd be able to float directly to the Bermuda triangle without stopping for directions. I have so much energy that I'm now watching half hour long sitcoms in just seconds!

You ever notice that They don't have any type of Karate for German shepherds? if dogs learned to focus there chi, just imagine how fucked we'd be? Well, I wouldn't be fucked, but you most certainly would be. Right now I could probably fight off a giant ghost flamingo made entirely from ninja stars and tazers. In fact, I'm about 85 percent certain that I could fuck up a 2003 Nissan Altima, if it were to suddenly become self aware and hostile towards me. ENERGY.

I have so much energy that I can multitask more shit right now than your lazy ass will accomplish within the next 4 months. While I type this I'm also filming a remake of "tango and cash", done with puppets. Simultaneously, I'm also updating my match.com profile while dry humping a zebra and skiing.

And guess what? I just squeezed a new York steak with my bare hands and crushed that shit into individual calories! I am the ghost of Jim Varney and I will haunt you into infinity! I am the one that inspired the "blade" movies and I will triumph! I am the singularity, the way, the light, the man who can turn a normal visit to the zoo into a multiple felony getaway vacation to the andromeda galaxy and I don't take shit from anyone!!

If you wanna lay around until you morph into a giant stick of butter and explode, that's your choice. But if you want so much energy that you could morph into a cybernetic plasma cheetah and beat the fuck out of the power rangers then I suggest you try "double brewed coffee". ENERGY.

P.s. Infinity rape

Old, but it made me very happy today.

[hops]

Why not just do cocaine

[Draignean]

Why not just do cocaine

That's insane. Utterly insane. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Clearly, you add the cocaine to the double coffee like sugar. You can't just eat cocaine straight, savage.

[SalmonGod]

Hmm... it occurs to me that Bay12 Ragnarok is not yet complete.  But neither is 2016.

Spoiler: Let's see... (click to show/hide)

[Eric Blank]

You should dig a hole and wall yourself in with a bunch of mushrooms and a cat. Only way to survive the aspookalypse

[Descan]

I just spent 450 dollars on pokemanz :V

[Eric Blank]

Jesus fuck that's like my family's monthly property payment

[tonnot98]

Jesus fuck that's like my family's monthly property payment

Homeless with newest Pokemon game + console > Having a home, but no pokemanz

[MrRoboto75]

Why not just do cocaine

That's insane. Utterly insane. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Clearly, you add the cocaine to the double coffee like sugar. You can't just eat cocaine straight, savage.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Shadowlord]

The advantage to being sober is that you aren't as short as people who drink.

You see

You're teetotaller.

I laughed and smiled and thought to myself "<3"

So why do people just gloss over it and whine when more people get destroyed by the habit?

And not liking a thing that pretty much everybody else in a given group likes and partakes of is the fast track to exclusion.

If a given social group will reject and ostracize you just because you don't want to drink alcohol, perhaps you should find better friends.  I can honestly say I've never run into a group that wanted me to drink against my will or excluded me just because I picked water over whiskey, so people like this are astonishing to me.  I mean, if we're talking specifically about, say, wine connoisseurs, I can understand why not drinking alcohol might be a detriment to one's ability to relate, but why in the world does this apply to all group in which the majority happens to drink socially once in a while?

Except that the context was "is vocally and virulently opposed to drinking alcohol in general" as opposed to "prefers to not consume alcohol". Nobody gives a shit whether you drink or not, but if you're vehemently telling other people that they should stop drinking and are horrible people for doing so... you're not going to have drinking buddies, lets' put it that way. 

We didn't tell anyone to stop drinking.

Personally, originally, I decided that drinking wasn't for me because when I was a teenager, I talked with a drunk adult (having talked with them previously on multiple occasions when they were sober), and decided that I never ever wanted to be like that.
I have other reasons now, though, like "if I can get 'addicted' to reading and posting on an internet forum, I probably shouldn't touch anything which is actually addictive." (That said, for some reason, skinner box gameplay in video games, which is supposed to be addictive, does not work on me at all)

[Culise]

So why do people just gloss over it and whine when more people get destroyed by the habit?

And not liking a thing that pretty much everybody else in a given group likes and partakes of is the fast track to exclusion.

If a given social group will reject and ostracize you just because you don't want to drink alcohol, perhaps you should find better friends.  I can honestly say I've never run into a group that wanted me to drink against my will or excluded me just because I picked water over whiskey, so people like this are astonishing to me.  I mean, if we're talking specifically about, say, wine connoisseurs, I can understand why not drinking alcohol might be a detriment to one's ability to relate, but why in the world does this apply to all group in which the majority happens to drink socially once in a while?

Except that the context was "is vocally and virulently opposed to drinking alcohol in general" as opposed to "prefers to not consume alcohol". Nobody gives a shit whether you drink or not, but if you're vehemently telling other people that they should stop drinking and are horrible people for doing so... you're not going to have drinking buddies, lets' put it that way. 

Odd.  I thought the context was a bunch of people saying they never drank alcohol in the past in asides during a more practical discussion of hangovers and suchlike, then Yoink saying that...

And... do you people realise how wrong that is?
Honestly, that kind of mentality is horrifying.   

At which point things went distinctly...ah, unhappy for the Happy Thread.  No one said Yoink or other posters should stop drinking or that they were horrible people; in fact, what was originally brought up was that abstaining itself was horrifying. 

[Rolan7]

To be fair, they were forming a sort of, one could say, sobriety league (;

I worked up the courage to do some of the things I needed to do! And planned to do the rest. And will miss some but not all of the stress family thing. Go me!

[Flying Dice]

So why do people just gloss over it and whine when more people get destroyed by the habit?

And not liking a thing that pretty much everybody else in a given group likes and partakes of is the fast track to exclusion.

If a given social group will reject and ostracize you just because you don't want to drink alcohol, perhaps you should find better friends.  I can honestly say I've never run into a group that wanted me to drink against my will or excluded me just because I picked water over whiskey, so people like this are astonishing to me.  I mean, if we're talking specifically about, say, wine connoisseurs, I can understand why not drinking alcohol might be a detriment to one's ability to relate, but why in the world does this apply to all group in which the majority happens to drink socially once in a while?

Except that the context was "is vocally and virulently opposed to drinking alcohol in general" as opposed to "prefers to not consume alcohol". Nobody gives a shit whether you drink or not, but if you're vehemently telling other people that they should stop drinking and are horrible people for doing so... you're not going to have drinking buddies, lets' put it that way. 

Odd.  I thought the context was a bunch of people saying they never drank alcohol in the past in asides during a more practical discussion of hangovers and suchlike, then Yoink saying that...

And... do you people realise how wrong that is?
Honestly, that kind of mentality is horrifying.   

At which point things went distinctly...ah, unhappy for the Happy Thread.  No one said Yoink or other posters should stop drinking or that they were horrible people; in fact, what was originally brought up was that abstaining itself was horrifying.

I mean, maybe if you clicked "reply" right after he posted that and ignored everything posted after it.