Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Tack]

Oh man, spontaneous poetry..
I was bored the other day and was wondering how much iron was in the human body.
Thought I'd heard somewhere it was enough to make a nail and I was like "wasn't that a children's rhyme or something?"
Google it and:

Spoiler: SURPRISE PRATCHETT (click to show/hide)

WHAT MAKES A MAN
Iron enough to make a nail
Lime enough to paint a wall
Water enough to drown a dog
Sulphur enough to stop the fleas
Potash enough to wash a shirt
Gold enough to buy a bean
Silver enough to coat a pin
Lead enough to blast a bird
Phosphor enough to light the town
Strength enough to build a home
Time enough to hold a child
Love enough to break a heart

I feel an itch in my feelings-place. It hurts to scratch.

[Tawa]

Tawarochir sees
The truth - to not know people
Like that's for the best.

Hey I thought I'd
Make a spontaneous thing
Refrigerator.

The audience is kinda frigid though.

Ha....Ha....Ha.

You could say that that was a cool joke.

Spontaneous haikus are for the weak
Men new to poems, foolish amateurs
Those whose poetic skills are still quite meek
And whose skill has not yet been shaved of burrs
The sonnet is the only way to go
For the skilled, the best professionals
When you have firmly grasped poetic flow
When meter of iambs five is not bull
You fools cannot match my prosaic might
I am a crafter skilled of rhyming poem
For I have seen the Shakespearean light
Perfect my skills are; for this I shall roam
In search of a poet of equal skill;
Perhaps instead for a pickle of dill

[Bauglir]

There is only one
way I can feel for the post above:
diamonds.

[TheBiggerFish]

Tis strange you'd think me amateur.
I work within many parameters.
From haiku to sonnet,
I've written upon it,
Although sonnets are not my métier.

[TD1]

The sonnet is a work of art, it's true
When done with spontaneity and style;
For it can sing, and even sweetly woo
The fairest lady to your hopeful guile.
But do not think to challenge me with it,
For you will find a hand that's fit to rise
And fend off that weak fist which thought to hit
My pride, and sought to bring a tear to eyes
That were yet dry when Shakespeare showed them woe,
That did not shake when Shakespeare showed them rage.
So do not bandy poetry with foe
Who knows that all the world is but a stage,
And we the actors of a vast and pointless play
Which has few words, and may not last the day.

[Descan]

guys come on

the height of poetry and taste is, of course, dick jokes (and also yo momma jokes)

just ask The Bard

step up yo game, mein Kinder!

[TheBiggerFish]

I doff my hat to you
Masterful sonnet-crafter
I'll keep to haiku.

Spoiler: Re:Descan.  May be slightly rude. (click to show/hide)

No really Descan
We are busy (with yo momma).
Dick jokes?  No, touch butts.

[Sirus]

um

Roses are red
Violets are purple
They are not blue
My cat ate a gerbil

[Tack]

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM WICHITA
WHO WAS OBSESSED WITH IAMBIC PANTAMETER
TRY AS HE MIGHT
WITH HIS POETIC PLIGHT
HIS EFFORTS ACCOUNTED TO NOT ONE IOTA

Also Dwarfy's was excellent. Needs stating.

[TD1]

Actually, while we're on the topic of poetry, Vector's sig made me happy when I read it a few days ago. Neat poem.

Also Dwarfy's was excellent. Needs stating.

Needless to say, this also made me happy. I can practically feel my ego inflating - I didn't know there was enough room for it to expand any further .

[Rolan7]

There once was a man from Nantucket

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Who went on a corporate junket
On $2 draft
he drank himself daft
And threw up all day in a bucket

[Putnam]

okay wait everyone i need to ask a quick question

which twitter timeline looks more intelligent:

A

B

[smirk]

Haiku? pssshhh.

Not worth a dime's your lack of rhyme,
A farcical and spastic mime
That twists and jerks through guileless murk
And bleeds us all of precious time

Pray hone your skills and weight your will
'Til stanzas you can safely fill
With visions hung in patter'd tongue
As fallen from some bardic quill



...that's it; that's all I got. Not up to TD1's improvisational level. Well done, that dwarf.

E:

"More intelligent" is tricky, but it's pretty obvious that one is vastly more of an entertainer than the other.

[TheBiggerFish]

@Putnam:B.

[Flying Dice]

okay wait everyone i need to ask a quick question

which twitter timeline looks more intelligent:

A

B

Spoiler: holy shit why does he not have this vest in real life (click to show/hide)