Apparently my life has become more interesting as of late.
Met someone. On tuesday a simple lunch turned into an 8 hour talk(I don't talk much) where we consumed a bottle of wine(I don't drink wine) and had dinner at 10 in the evening while drunk on wine half an hour before the pizza place closed. On thursday I went to a mormon church(I'm not religious in the least), where we learned english(I was mostly there to hear the missionaries american accent, the way americans pronounce estonian words is absolutely amazing) and talked about god(which I have always wanted to have a debate/ask about). And today I went to a hidden bar, that has literally no signage, so the only way you can know it exists is when someone tells you where it is, and there I listened to a bunch of people sing and play guitar and tell poems and some dude read aloud excerpts from something which I didn't actually understand.
And there is now a case of unrequited love in my life, that isn't in the form of "I asked someone out and they refused". I should probably be sad that she isn't interested in a relationship, but I'm actually more amused by the whole thing, and by the fact that this has apparently happened to another dude right before me, a dude that I would consider "better" than myself. I find it funny how similar I can be to someone, and also how utterly different in the way that I live. I find it funny how finding just one person that I deeply enjoy being around can alter my behaviour so much for a short duration.
I feel alive. Like I have gotten a taste of something I could have, and not in the way of "if I suddenly become amazing I could have it", but in that the requirements are far lesser than that. That I don't need to change myself completely, so much as just go out into the world and enjoy myself and do the things I actually want to do.
So that's my happy thought of the day. I doubt I will just suddenly fundamentally alter the way I live, but I am happy I have gotten the opportunity to actually feel anything other than apathy. And who knows, maybe it'll last.
I'm gonna go watch the flash now, at 2.30 AM cause I just ate a burger, am slightly tipsy, and feel like watching it. You have a nice night everyone!