I've noticed a lot of ennui in a lot of people over the past year or so. Many people, at least/especially in America, having gotten into the habit of finding learning boring, and of avoiding work as much as possible. Many of them seem to be in the process of dealing with college or, worse, past it. This leaves them with no real idea of what to do, and a misguided impression that they don't want to do anything. By the time they realize that isn't really the case, they're kinda stuck in a rut, one which is very difficult to get out of.
I personally ended up experiencing much of the same thing, except during what would have been my high school years if I wasn't a weird homeschooled introvert. This, as it turns out, was a very good thing. I've had the opportunity to basically dick around on the computer with youtube and vidjagaems 18/7 for several years now, and it isn't, in fact, what I want, what with the creeping cloud of depression and anxiety. The good thing is that I came to that decision at age 17, just getting into community college, rather than age 29, just getting into the beginnings of middle age.
At this point, I'm hugely enjoying school, becoming involved with people and groups I find interesting, and generally well-to-do psychologically and physically.
My happy, I suppose, is that not only am I enjoying the educational system, not only am I finally doing something, not only am I far more competent socially and educationally than might reasonably be expected, but that I have gained a sense of purpose, of not only wanting to do things, but of having the drive to do them.
I have been, to conclude, happier in the past four months than the previous five years, and things are looking only upward.
Hell. Fucking. Yes.
Congratulations. I've experienced the same thing once and even though college can get daunting, it's not something I would discard for another hour of vidyagaem. I realize that I've grown too attached to my friends IRL that I can't foresee a life without having another friend made to talk to - drink with or otherwise enjoy after graduation of college.
Loathe I am to admit, I am getting rather teary-eyed at the prospect of leaving college to work, because I'll be missing a lot of experiences that only college offered to me.
Urmph! I saved this tab before rushing off to work and school x_X
Personally, this. This so much. I've not rather experienced real ennui, and I wish I wouldn't ever (though I guess the nearest similarity is my daily anxiety + annoying voracious self-doubt :v)--because I've loved learning ever since, and I can see the great merit in school and academics. Not only do they expose you to a learning environment, but they also expose you to other aspects in life: Personally, college is where the best years are. I'm challenged under heavy standards, pressurized and put in hot waters--
but, my instructors are my guides, they mould me and guide me when they see me dropping even a bit, or faltering in the slightest. Those memories followed me from elementary onwards
and are what I guess what helped me express my love of learning. It's like an unrefined gem, which I guess could be an analogy for all of us. College is but one experience--we all need experience and exposure in life to attain refinement. 'Pressure, temperature, physical forces', analogous to exposure and how we mature and develop ourselves (in which IMO, a ton of that happens in College
[curse thee undergrad thesis. Why didn't I get acquainted with you earlier?!]).
My happy is being able to see that very subtle line of demotivation and self-motivation. To understand how it feels to be depressed daily, yet parallel those experiences with the love of life and learning--to know how it feels at the bottom of a pit, yet be able to look up and climb. I could say it's all in the mind, but environment also matters (though I'd still personally stand by the idea that it all starts in mind: That one place where our thoughts mesh with what we see, with what we experience,
and from where we process our understanding and derive meaning from what we see and experience).
I've learned a bloody lot. How to keep in touch with people. International communication. How to express yourself, and especially how to be safe...even if you don't really feel safe with others when they are actually good people and
I didn't know that yet (but was stuck with the idea that they're bullies or may probably harm me if they knew my weaknesses :V Yep, 8 years of being bullied right there in a nutshell.)
I'm happy to be able to see others as I see them in how they see me. To actually understand and know how and what that one analogy of
putting yourself in others' shoes means. Of how you are personally able to move your arm--and in those 'easy', 'simple' movements, realize how much it takes to be able to move them, then seeing the same in others. I guess that's empathy? But that one post up there,
Amp/Trapezohedron, got me on a reminiscing train on my own perception of things. Thanks dudes c: You got me in a happy mood after having me...err, look a ton back on what I learned.
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Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!) (Read 16289476 times)