As of today, I've been happily married for two years.
Congrats, man! S'an accomplishment, that's for sure. May it continue further.
Sometimes when I'm in the right spot, and am comfortable and warm, and full of good food, I can remember what it felt like that got me into my current predicament. That situation isn't a matter for this thread, but the feeling ... I'd forgotten what it was like. What it felt like.
It's like a mixture of pride and affection and caring and ... something else that's hard to describe. A warm glow that feels 30% too big for my chest cavity, but in a good way. Like I might burst open like a sieve leaking... happiness. Even considering the frankly stupid amounts of stress and painful repressive emotional bullshit I've inflicted upon myself because of it, feeling it now all of it seems worth it. Even with no real reason whatsoever for me to be happy, nothing happened to make me like this or anything; I'm just lying on my couch feeling happy for no particular reason.
I can see why people would spend their lives chasing after something like this. It's the only emotion I've ever felt that makes me genuinely happy that someone else is happy. In other circumstances when people are happy I can understand why they're happy and express excitement at that, but I don't really share it. It's ... it's nice to be able to.
It's like peacefulness and excitement and contentment all comfortably wrapped up with each other.
It's a good feeling. Ultimately a transitory one, I know, but I'm enjoying the moment.