When I examine my feelings, I'm always so jumbled and confused as to how to classify the most stirring emotions in my life. I think, all in all, this belongs in the happy thread, though I could easily convince myself to instead place it into the sad thread.
I've recently purchased a bicycle. Riding it is much easier cardio exercise than my running/jogging routine, which almost always gave me asthma attacks and left me feeling miserable afterwards. My butt hurts from the seat, though I'm not sure if I'll just acclimate to that or not.
I visited my therapist today. I recounted to him the recent event where I had gotten a girl's phone number, and tried texting her, but she automatically defaulted to ignoring me without so much as a 'HI' first. I mean, I thought she was interested cause she gave me her number, but I guess not. I asked her about it in person, and she just shrugged me off saying something along the lines of "Sorry I'm busy." and then cut the conversation short, which was a jilting since I thought we were on atleast friendly terms.
My therapist wanted me to call her up right then and there, but I'm just way too anxious! I think that just sounds stupid or creepy, I feel completely tensed up and panicked at the prospect. I'm just not mentally prepared to handle further rejection.
But I know what he's getting at, he wants me to be more confrontative, to restore the sense of agency in my life. He assigned confronting her as my homework, not confronting in a mean way, but just to get a solid answer. He hasn't set the date of our next appointment yet, he said once I've accomplished that homework to call in and then it'll get set.
I'm sick to my stomach at the idea though, but I want to be less of a bystander of my own life.