Andux's Awkward Anxiety Adventures, episode 4:
Apply directly to the forehead.(TL;DR: Andux used Madcap Scheme. It's sorta effective!)
Recently, I began to concoct a cunning plan to overcome my natural shyness; I reasoned thusly:
- The thought of unintentionally doing or saying something foolish causes me anxiety.
- I am fairly comfortable with the idea of intentionally making an ass of myself in order to make people laugh.
- Therefore, I should try sticking a Post-It note to my face, and see if that helps break the ice.
Today, I decided to put that plan into action; some time before Bio class, I wrote "Post-It: Apply directly to the forehead." on a
Post-It off-brand sticky note and, after doing as the note now instructed, headed over to where B. was sitting.
Me: (slightly nervous) "Hello."
B.: *
no discernable reaction*
Me: B.: *
is apparently completely engrossed in watching something on her phone*
Me: .o{
Thanks for noticin' me.}
I sit there awkwardly for several minutes, hoping she'll look over, see me, and laugh; unfortunately, she does not acknowledge me at all (then or later on). After a while, another classmate of ours (quiet, hipster glasses, kinda looks like he should be the front man in an indie-pop band; call him J.) shows up; he looks me over briefly, but once again I get no reaction.
Me: *
gesturing vaguely at Post-It* "Seriously, nothing?"
J.: *
looks at me and/or B. for a moment, then heads into the classroom without saying anything*
Me: *
confused gesture directed toward the universe at large*
After another minute or so of awkward sitting, our Bio professor shows up, but unlike the other two, he actually reacts; he comes over, squints at the note, and chuckles a bit before heading on into the classroom. After a moment, B. follows him in; I give it a minute before heading in myself.
I leave the note on during class; out of a class of 15 students, 8 (including A., B., and J.) exhibit no visible reaction, 4 or 5 laugh/smile (one guy pauses to read it first, and two girls ask questions afterwards: "Why do you have a sticker on your head?" (
Me: "Just trying to break the ice."
), and either "Who did that?" or "Whose is that?" (
Me: "Huh?")), and one guy (the last to notice it) just stops to read it before issuing a vaguely puzzled "Huh."
After we finish up for the day and people start leaving, I address A. on her way to the door:
Me: "So, really? No reaction to the Post-It?"
A.: *
stops, peers at the note* "What does it say?"
Me: "'Post-It: Apply directly to the forehead.'"
A.: *
laughs, walks off*