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[Dutchling]

And I have gotten into the habit of keeping my eyes extra clean just in case.

How does one keep ones eyes clean?

I assume you could let someone (or a trusted pet) lick them clean.

[hops]

Braces are off.

TEETH SO SMOOTH. MUST LICK.

Braces are on.

TEETH SO ROUGH. I THINK MY MOUTH IS BLEEDING.

[Erils]

Braces are off.

TEETH SO SMOOTH. MUST LICK.

Braces are on.

TEETH SO ROUGH. I THINK MY MOUTH IS BLEEDING.

Don't play baseball with braces on. My brother took a pitch to the mouth while he had his braces on (as if just getting hit in the mouth wasn't bad enough) and they cut into his lips causing a huge amount of bleeding. He had to get stitches inside his mouth and get new braces to fix the damage done to them. A few weeks later, the same thing happened. I don't blame him for dropping the sport.

[Furtuka]

This made me happy today. How could it not, it's a giant robot surfing into a planet!

And here I thought people were exaggerating when they talked about Macross's idol obsession

[BlackFlyme]

Braces are off.

TEETH SO SMOOTH. MUST LICK.

Braces are on.

TEETH SO ROUGH. I THINK MY MOUTH IS BLEEDING.

Don't play baseball with braces on. My brother took a pitch to the mouth while he had his braces on (as if just getting hit in the mouth wasn't bad enough) and they cut into his lips causing a huge amount of bleeding. He had to get stitches inside his mouth and get new braces to fix the damage done to them. A few weeks later, the same thing happened. I don't blame him for dropping the sport.

I once got a tennis racket to the face when I had my braces. Split my lip right open.

Retainers aren't as bad, though I accidentally cut my tongue on the bottom one a couple of times during the first few weeks.

[Furtuka]

Pfffff. And yet also disheartening.

[Owlga]

I managed to work skullfucking into a joke. I'm so stupidly proud of myself.

Spoiler: If anyone is curious (click to show/hide)

In reference to a zombie girl.

 me:  Would
Would you stick it in her eye socket
 Billy:  Nope.
 me:  But it's like
Future proofing the relationship
Because then she might always have a bit of your cock on her mind
 Billy:  Future proofing WHAT?
...
NO
THAT DOESN'T WORK

[Dutchling]

I managed to work skullfucking into a joke. I'm so stupidly proud of myself.

I assume you too were disappointed at the American Psycho movie?

[Frumple]

I managed to work skullfucking into a joke. I'm so stupidly proud of myself.

Spoiler: If anyone is curious (click to show/hide)

In reference to a zombie girl.

 me:  Would
Would you stick it in her eye socket
 Billy:  Nope.
 me:  But it's like
Future proofing the relationship
Because then she might always have a bit of your cock on her mind
 Billy:  Future proofing WHAT?
...
NO
THAT DOESN'T WORK

*polite applause*

[Graknorke]

I managed to work skullfucking into a joke. I'm so stupidly proud of myself.

Spoiler: If anyone is curious (click to show/hide)

In reference to a zombie girl.

 me:  Would
Would you stick it in her eye socket
 Billy:  Nope.
 me:  But it's like
Future proofing the relationship
Because then she might always have a bit of your cock on her mind
 Billy:  Future proofing WHAT?
...
NO
THAT DOESN'T WORK

*polite applause*

I'm sure we have some Bay12 Pun Awards or something.

[Knit tie]

My friend made a similar joke once. We were talking about using hearts as masturbatory aids, and he said that, when you are done, the best place to ejaculate is right into the organ. Because, as he said, somebody will always carry a piece of you in their heart from now on.

[Eric Blank]

...or at least until they inevitably die and rot away.

You'd have to be quick to get off in someone's heart before the fact you're aggressively sticking something in a vital organ full of blood results in their death.

[hops]

I... think we should stop talking about this before things devolve and Toady lock the thread.

[Aklyon]

Its weird enough as it is.

[Dutchling]

I wonder if they ship overseas.