One of my only straight male friends I have, whom I actually trust, knows about how I really am. His wife does as well. They have a 9 year old daughter:
I'm continuously baffled by how deep this goes with you. We have families in school with one daddy, two daddies, two mommies, one mommy and a grandmother, and it's all completely normal to the kids and adults around here. I really wonder why you don't move to a more... accepting location?
You have those things as part of your conception of "normal." I wish everyone did.
They do not. Only very recently has the US made any considerable progress in gay rights and transgender rights are far behind even that. I grew up in a time when being gay was actually a criminal offense (sodomy: pre: 2003), you could be dishonorably discharged from the military for being gay (Don't ask; don't tell: pre 2011), you can be fired and/or denied housing for being gay in most states (current), and a whole host of other things. Let's not even touch the marriage/custody of biological children/adoption problems. People like to forget the unpleasant fact that much of the US vehemently hates gays and that only as those people die off are attitudes
beginning to change. There are several organizations with millions and millions of dollars in funding specifically to oppose what has been derogatorily been called the "homosexual agenda."
As for moving, people really underestimate how big of a thing that is. Forgetting certain licenses only applying to one area (huge thing by the way), yeah, uprooting everything in your life is kind of a big deal. Also, there may be "more" or "less" accepting areas, but that doesn't change the overall picture in the country as a whole, which you do have to deal with. Regional and national companies, government agencies, organizations etc, will still effect you even if you live in an "accepting" area.
Frankly, you really can't run from it, and the notion that this is the solution is misguided. Hiding is about the only option for many.
I have, even recently had the parents of several of my adult friends flat out forbid me from hanging out with them, expressly because I'm a "faggot." These and other lovely slurs have been spat at my face several times. When what appears to be some guy is hanging around your daughter, you ask questions about who he is.... Whether or not they are living at home, I don't want to ruin their family relationships with my presence.... Even then, I am/was friends with a lot of single moms who actually know about me and/or parents and they do not tell their kids about how I am gay. Several of them don't hang out with me around their kids/only hang out with me when their kids are not around.
This is the first time an entire family has been cool with me.