Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[SalmonGod]

I got an Aerostitch suit!  Will probably have a picture for the photo share thread soon.

[Sirus]

I got an Aerostitch suit!  Will probably have a picture for the photo share thread soon.

Looks like a starship uniform.
...I want one now

EDIT: Nearly a thousand bucks? Holy crap SalmonGod, you've got expensive tastes.

[Solifuge]

Some people spend as much or more on dress suits. This one is practical though, if you're a biker. It's basically flexible armor to keep you from turning into pulled pork if you take a spill at high speed.

[kaijyuu]

I won't be impressed unless it can stop bullets.

[SalmonGod]

I got an Aerostitch suit!  Will probably have a picture for the photo share thread soon.

Looks like a starship uniform.
...I want one now

EDIT: Nearly a thousand bucks? Holy crap SalmonGod, you've got expensive tastes.

My parents got it from ebay for my birthday, so I imagine it was much, much cheaper.  They might have gone over their birthday gift price limit, since it's my 30th, but I doubt it was more than $300.

It's made of kevlar and pads and weatherproofing and pockets and pretty much the best safety you can wear on a motorcycle.  Much more comfortable and convenient than my old gear, too.

[Flying Dice]

Fireflies are out. I forgot how awesome they are.

Yes. Yes, Fireflies are awesome.

[Lightningfalcon]

It's too bad that the only fireflies that you see now are insects, and not ships.  I miss the ships.


On my side, I just found out that my brother has been accepted for training to become Airborne.  Several years ago they asked him to join, but his wife wouldn't let him, and last time he tried they apparently had too NCOs already.  He apparently had the same problem this time to, but he somehow still got accepted. 

[Pnx]

On my side, I just found out that my brother has been accepted for training to become Airborne.  Several years ago they asked him to join, but his wife wouldn't let him, and last time he tried they apparently had too NCOs already.  He apparently had the same problem this time to, but he somehow still got accepted.

Whenever I hear things like this from someone I always get mixed feelings.

It's like if the person in question was a porn star and they've just announced they've been accepted for a major roll in the latest graphic depiction of eroticism. On the one hand I know this is great for them career-wise. On the other I find myself thinking that maybe their choice of career is a bit unfortunate.

I really hope that comparison doesn't offend people.

[Sirus]

Fireflies are out. I forgot how awesome they are.

Yes. Yes, Fireflies are awesome.

Take care of em, treat em proper, and they'll be with you till the day you die.

[kaijyuu]

My happy for today:

I've gained weight!


Today I went to the doctor to have them check out my cough (turns out I have walking pneumonia, but nevermind that), and they weighed me. 142 pounds! I'm a healthy weight again!

On my side, I just found out that my brother has been accepted for training to become Airborne.  Several years ago they asked him to join, but his wife wouldn't let him, and last time he tried they apparently had too NCOs already.  He apparently had the same problem this time to, but he somehow still got accepted.

Whenever I hear things like this from someone I always get mixed feelings.

It's like if the person in question was a porn star and they've just announced they've been accepted for a major roll in the latest graphic depiction of eroticism. On the one hand I know this is great for them career-wise. On the other I find myself thinking that maybe their choice of career is a bit unfortunate.

I really hope that comparison doesn't offend people.

Honestly, I feel it insults porn more than the other way around. This has more to do with my acceptance of porn as awesome than my distaste of the military, though (though it is a bit of both).

[Hanslanda]

On my side, I just found out that my brother has been accepted for training to become Airborne.  Several years ago they asked him to join, but his wife wouldn't let him, and last time he tried they apparently had too NCOs already.  He apparently had the same problem this time to, but he somehow still got accepted.

Whenever I hear things like this from someone I always get mixed feelings.

It's like if the person in question was a porn star and they've just announced they've been accepted for a major roll in the latest graphic depiction of eroticism. On the one hand I know this is great for them career-wise. On the other I find myself thinking that maybe their choice of career is a bit unfortunate.

I really hope that comparison doesn't offend people.

I'm not offended at least. Being a soldier is indeed an unfortunate career. Prone to... Sudden ends, and with serious long term psychological impact. On the other side of the coin, I am, like (Everyone on earth) most people, very protective and proud of my countries' soldiers, and would defend them in conversation... Quite vociferously.

[Lightningfalcon]

I know what you mean.  Except that there is also another layer, like if there is a constant chance of the studio they are filming that at to be bombed by a different studio.
I'm happy for him, but I hope that he's not going to be deployed to any combat zones afterwards.  Been through that before, and it is nerve wracking waking up every morning and going to the computer to message him to see how it was going. 

[Euld]

Apparently these are lawyer jokes, although I really gotta wonder if many of these are fiction.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[Pnx]

Honestly, I feel it insults porn more than the other way around. This has more to do with my acceptance of porn as awesome than my distaste of the military, though (though it is a bit of both).

The first comparison I typed up was about a prostitute and a high end brothel, which I think is more appropriate, but I felt would be more offensive...

[misko27]

Law Jokes? Devil's Dictionary time!

Spoiler: The last one is my favorite. (click to show/hide)

In the character of a poor person — a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.

What good would that do me?

Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction

One skilled in circumvention of the law.

A lawyer with a roving commission.

Once Law was sitting on the bench,
And Mercy knelt a-weeping.
"Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench!
Nor come before me creeping.
Upon your knees if you appear,
'Tis plain your have no standing here."

Then Justice came. His Honor cried:
"Your status? — devil seize you!"
"Amica curiae," she replied —
"Friend of the court, so please you."
"Begone!" he shouted — "there's the door —
I never saw your face before!"
—G.J.

Love that damn book.