That describes my dad so well. The only thing he uses his GPS for is to confirm if he is right. Which he never is, so the GPS must be lying.
Ah, memories.
The most wonderful thing to hear as a passenger is the driver saying something along the lines of, "I know a shortcut." After being rattled off directions spat out by a map program of some sort.
Cue having time for an extended nap before you reach the place. It's kinda' amazing people get anywhere at all when it comes to extended trips, given how hard a time so many seem to have following simple "turn here" instructions >_>
.....I'm pretty sure you've never ridden with me, but now I'm not so sure.
I am semi-
infamous legendary for my "shortcuts". Once took a combination of back roads through Kentucky rather than the interstate, just because it could shave about ten miles off the trip. At one point, we had to cross a river. As we got closer and closer to the river, the little road we were on got smaller and smaller and dipped down towards the river with switchback turns and rickety single-lane iron bridges that dated back to the 19th century. Eventually we got to the river and found that it was a tiny private ferry...and the operator had just locked up on the other side and was driving away for the day. Meanwhile, we could see the nice big interstate bridge about a half-mile upstream. Had to go 25 miles just to get to a road that could get us to the Interstate. >_<
Or the time I got us misdirected on the way to Grandfather Mountain and wound up in the wrong city, about 40 miles south of where we needed to go. No matter! I see a combination of lines on this map which will form a more direct route than backtracking! No matter that the lines are tiny and grey (indicating local access roads, which are universally terrible in the mountains) or that one stretch is
hollow! (indicating an unpaved road)
We wound up finding a..."village" up there where I'm not entirely sure they knew the Civil War was over. Or that indoor plumbing had been invented. Later on, as we're bouncing around on this jagged gravel path in the middle of the woods with the sun going down, we drove up on a peregrine falcon feasting on a carcass. Bird just looked at us like "WTF is that thing, never seen one before."
Finally, just as my friends are about to eject me from the car and leave me for the local wildlife as punishment for getting us all into a scene out of
Deliverance, we turn a corner and we're exactly where we needed to be.
REDKING USES SHORTCUT
ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE