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[kaijyuu]

Depending on what "stationary" is, the force exerted from suddenly stopping could approach infinity. That's an instantaneous splat from the acceleration alone.

[Darvi]

Darvi has mastered the ability to make turtles appear from nowhere. Additionally, he is protected from damage by resilient skin and he has learned to take control of squids.

Aka what if Cthulhu was a Turtle Tamer.

[Logical2u]

I have become the absolute worst superhero known to mankind.

Logical2u has the power to communicate with bisons through a mental link. Also, he has inherited all of the powers and talents of a chicken and he has mastered the ability to transform his body into rubber. Logical2u developed the talent to transform water into ice. Lamentably, Logical2u takes harm from exposure to air.

[Darvi]

At first I was thinking "Hey, those are actually pretty awesome superpowers (except for the bison thing, I mean, they're not squirrels)", but then I read the last sentence and was all "Welp"

[Blargityblarg]

I have become the absolute worst superhero known to mankind.

Logical2u has the power to communicate with bisons through a mental link. Also, he has inherited all of the powers and talents of a chicken and he has mastered the ability to transform his body into rubber. Logical2u developed the talent to transform water into ice. Lamentably, Logical2u takes harm from exposure to air.

A rubber chicken that freezes water and airdrowns.

[Boksi]

Man, that's an even worse weakness than a weakness to rock. But turning yourself into rubber and freezing water are both useful powers.

Of course, I think we all know where there isn't any air to harm him. Outer space.

BLARGITYBLARG, DEFENDER OF SPACE!

[Rilder]

Rilder is able to spin like a whirlwind. He possesses the power to cause his foes to become foolish and he developed the talent to transform any dwarf into adamantium, however only against an antelope. Rilder has learned to create sand out of thin air and he has the power to force weapons to tell the truth. Additionally, he boasts all of the powers and talents of a squid and he can copy the appearance of his assailants. Rilder has been known to tunnel through solid dust. Shamefully, Rilder is well-known for being ugly.

I can transform any dwarf into Adamantium, however only against an antelope.

I'm not sure I understand. Does the dwarf I'm transforming have to have an antelope next to him, does he have to be part Antelope or is it talking about some sort of Dwarf Antelope?

[Darvi]

Clearly, the dorf has to fight an telope (*badum-tish*) for your power to work.

[Blargityblarg]

Man, that's an even worse weakness than a weakness to rock. But turning yourself into rubber and freezing water are both useful powers.

Of course, I think we all know where there isn't any air to harm him. Outer space.

BLARGITYBLARG, DEFENDER OF SPACE!

It's not me, it's Logical2u.

[Boksi]

Man, that's an even worse weakness than a weakness to rock. But turning yourself into rubber and freezing water are both useful powers.

Of course, I think we all know where there isn't any air to harm him. Outer space.

BLARGITYBLARG, DEFENDER OF SPACE!

It's not me, it's Logical2u.

Oh, right.

LOGICAL2U, DEFENDER OF SPACE!

[bukitodinos]

Bukitodinos boasts all of the powers and talents of a spider. He has a reputation for a remarkable knack at fighting in the dark, but can only do so once an hour. Bukitodinos can transform any fish into fire and he developed the talent to change shape into a germ. Sadly, Bukitodinos takes harm from exposure to dust.

wow... im spiderman's retarded brother

[Darvi]

wow... im spiderman's retarded brother

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Magma carp.

[TherosPherae]

Theros has the power to steal the skills of his assailants and use it against them, however only in extreme poison. He lords over a pack of humans and he has mastered the ability to transform any robot into a badger. Theros is able to communicate with women through a mental link and he has been known to confuse the thinking of a rival. Additionally, he has a reputation for a phenomenal willpower and he developed the talent to tunnel through solid kevlar. Shamefully, Theros is deathly afraid of computers.

That's right, I lord over a pack of humans, can telepathically hit on any woman I please, but god help me if I get near a computer wait I'm typing shit shit shit shit ABANDON ALL HOPE AAAAAAGGHH

[Nadaka]

I had one earlier that had a most useful ability of "all the powers and talents of a gorilla", he could also sense zebra once a week, shape string and was incapable of seeing spiders.

[Levi]

This is pretty awesome:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Levi has mastered the ability to transform his body into magic. He has an amazing resilience and he has been known to throw explosive missiles from his cluster of magic spells in a field around himself. Levi has the power to block deafening sounds and deflect them against a series of foes. Sadly, Levi is notorious for being tired.

Sadly, I already have the laziness trait in real life.