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[Reudh]

SalmonGod has been known to become incorporeal, however he must speak words of power to do so. He likewise has the power to sculpt and mold all illusion with a thought and he attacks using a savage collection of fangs that also grants an unusual resilience, but this power only lasts ten minutes at a time. SalmonGod has learned to tunnel through solid fluid and he is known for his astounding ability to regenerate. Also, he developed the talent to block mental shockwaves and deflect them against multiple assailants. Lamentably, SalmonGod becomes homeless in the presence of gold.

solid fluid

Wat.

Some hitherto undiscovered form of water, akin to supercritical H2O?
Aerogel?

[Euld]

Euld has mastered the ability to read the memories of others, but using this power draws a lot of attention. Also, he has been known to make birds appear from nowhere and he has the power to steal any talent of his opponents and use it against them. Euld combats assailants using a magical BFG that also grants an impressive sense of hearing and he has the ability to levitate through walls using a mind-blowing minivan. Additionally, he can jump into computers, however only while in pain. Euld developed the talent to communicate with puppets verbally. Sadly, Euld becomes tired in the presence of steel.

Apparently I can speak to puppets o_O

[lemon10]

But elves are scary. *Runs into corner and hides*

[MaximumZero]

Euld has mastered the ability to read the memories of others, but using this power draws a lot of attention. Also, he has been known to make birds appear from nowhere and he has the power to steal any talent of his opponents and use it against them. Euld combats assailants using a magical BFG that also grants an impressive sense of hearing and he has the ability to levitate through walls using a mind-blowing minivan. Additionally, he can jump into computers, however only while in pain. Euld developed the talent to communicate with puppets verbally. Sadly, Euld becomes tired in the presence of steel.

Apparently I can speak to puppets o_O

...You're the Medic from TF2. Whoa.

[SalmonGod]

A very large and pretty moth allowed me to pet it tonight.  I haven't had a moment like that with a wild creature in a very long time.

[scriver]

Spider webs are pretty. There's one right next to the table.

[Yoink]

It's a trap!! It is mesmerising you with its pretty webs so that it can sneak up and eat your head! D: Or lay eggs in your brain, maybe.

On-topic: Uh... I, um... My day today had some good moments, at least! About all the happy I can manage at the moment, heh.

[Reelya]

lol. i shouldn't be such a cynic but i feel it's more likely the moth had brain damage, rather than empathy, as the cause of it not fleeing a human hand. moths don't have enough braincells for empathy.

[Whitefoxsniper]

Whitefoxsniper has the power to hurl blinding light from his skateboard against multiple antagonists.

Guess I had better start learning to ride one then...

Additionally, he owns all of the powers and talents of a jellyfish and he is able to take control of beetles.

I can shock and poison people at the same time! Also I don't imagine the ability to control beetles to be particularly useful...

Whitefoxsniper has been known to block death rays and deflect them toward a single assailant, however doing so makes him sticky for one minute.

Stickyness is worth not getting death rayed!

He is able to teleport to far away galaxies and he battles attackers using a cruel chainsaw made from rock, but never when happy.

So whenever I get don't feel happy I get teleported to alien planets and chainsaw people? I wonder if my ability to block death rays will come in handy...

Whitefoxsniper attacks with a dangerous shotgun and he has learned to create magic out of thin air.

I also have a shotgun? Is the magic controllable or does it mean that I can make pretty sparkly dust clouds? I think that I'm a little bit of a mary sue character.

Shamefully, Whitefoxsniper has a weakness of being weak.

That's specific!

[Boksi]

Boksi is able to take control of butterflies. Additionally, he developed the talent to tunnel through solid string. Shamefully, Boksi takes harm from exposure to rock.

I am so lame. Even Aquaman is fucking cool compared to me.

Does the rock weakness refer to stone or music?

[Knight of Fools]

Yes, it does.

"Knight of Fools is able to take control of vacuum and bend it to his will. Additionally, he has mastered the ability to transform crystal into steel and he possesses all of the powers and talents of a goat. Knight of Fools has the power to sculpt and mold all titanium with a thought and he can become invisible. He also has a reputation for an astonishing strength and he developed the talent to communicate with flies with gestures. Knight of Fools can edit the memories of others. Terribly, Knight of Fools becomes clueless in the presence of illusion."

That's actually not bad.

[miauw62]

Yo momma can walk to far-off planets. Also, she combats adversaries using a deadly stinger that also grants an astonishing sense of smell, however only when well-rested. Yo momma rides a terrific skateboard into battle and she has the power to block sonic waves and deflect them toward any assailant close by, but doing so drains her fortitude for ten minutes. She likewise is able to edit the memories of others and she has learned to sculpt and mold all fluid with a thought. Yo momma is protected from damage by body armor and she has a reputation for a fantastic flexibility. Additionally, she developed the talent to make zebras appear from nowhere and she boasts a mind-blowing immunity to weather. Shamefully, Yo momma is well-known for being unable to see cats.

I am the bane of good jokes, fear me.

[Yoink]

Yoink possesses the power to make dogs appear from nowhere, however this power only lasts one minute at a time. Additionally, he has the power to levitate through time and he has learned to transform any weapon into a wolf. Yoink has been known to take control of heat and bend it to his will, but he must speak words of power to do so. He likewise has the power to create cloth out of thin air and he is known for his bizarre breath-taking steel refuge, but never in darkness. Unfortunately, Yoink is well-known for being ugly.

It's okay, I didn't need that self-esteem anyway.

[Tiruin]

Tiruin has been known to absorb the damage from energy-based attacks and redirect it toward a single enemy. He likewise has the power to transform fire into silver, however this power fades when he is knocked unconscious. Tiruin conquers assailants with a wicked dagger made from wood and he possesses all of the powers and talents of a rabbit. He also has learned to create air out of thin air and he has mastered the ability to tunnel through solid fluid. Tiruin developed the talent to confuse the memories of an attacker. Unfortunately, Tiruin suffers from being powerless.

I shall change my pseudonym to Irony.

[Trapezohedron]

New Rookie Guy is known for his extraordinary resilience, but doing so makes him extremely smelly for one day. Also, he is protected from damage by a magic shield, however never against an alien. New Rookie Guy has been known to force penguins to freeze in place and he has the ability to become camouflaged. Additionally, he has a legendary ability to sense owl, but only during a full moon. New Rookie Guy possesses the power to block powerful magnetic fields and deflect them toward any antagonist close by, but only when happy. He is able to make duplicates of himself and he has been known to fly by swinging from nearby buildings. Tragically, New Rookie Guy is deathly afraid of bees.