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Author Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!)  (Read 15767249 times)

Fenrir

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One advice: Learn to say 'no' in your relationship as early as possible.

My brother got almost all of his personal time sapped because he didn't know when and how to reject a request from his girl.

This lead into her learning to throw a fit in order to get my brother to come over to her. And it worked every time.

Don't become a Yes Man, and learn to sort your priorities. That said, if her requests are more important than what you're doing, then go, shoot for it.

Oh, and likewise, don't force her to do things if there's something more important to her at hand, like a business meeting for example.
I have no experience with such things, but I suspect that, if it be necessary to do anything early to keep her from disrespecting your time and throwing a fit, then she is not worth keeping anyway. Making her realize that she will not be permitted to manipulate or exploit you does not change the fact that she is willing to do such a thing.
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Itnetlolor

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I, too, have a horrific lack of experience when it comes to girls/women as well, though a bit worse off (lucky enough if I can even get a date (they've been few and really far between)); but yeah, be a companion or a partner, but don't become a pet. I used to be "The Nice Guy", and I at least, eventually, learned the signs to watch out for, and corrected myself accordingly (and better results have been coming up more frequently). But yeah, you always say yes, your ability to say no will diminish due to being the reliable "yes man" or "nice guy" she'll resort to contacting for an ego-boost.

As long as you remain a person, you'll be respected as a person. Just stay true to yourself, and be a good person, not a "nice guy". "Nice guys" are dime-a-dozen pets to girls, and can never place (1st/2nd/3rd/etc.); reason they "always finish last" is because they are pets, and are only treated as pets; Since when was the last time you saw a nice guy eat at the same table as their intended love interest (without an ego-boost purpose)? As a "nice guy", cutting your losses and accepting your failures as the only option (provided you learn from them) is the best path to take once labeled. That stigma is hard as hell to remove, and sometimes requires a total personality overhaul to get rid of it. I'm not advising to become an asshole, but standing your ground when challenged or forced into the "nice guy" role is only interpreted as an asshole trait if you can hold it well against a stubborn person (much of the time, clearly in the wrong); generally used as a disciplinary measure to revert nice guys who've had enough of their crap, back into the lowly pets they once were. Such methods were used a few times against me before, now that I recall in hindsight (and furthermore in hindsight, I've accepted that they likely wouldn't have been worth my time in the long-run, especially if I were to expect more of the same).

EDIT:
I apologize if I offended anyone with this statement, and came off any bit bitter, but I speak from experience. Speaking of which, I have been accounting my many (many) failures as data I could use to improve my situations, as well as craft some useful advice with (at least to get out of the "nice guy" woods), instead of just plain losses in general, which have no yields I can work with.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2012, 10:15:25 am by Itnetlolor »
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JoshuaFH

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That's good advice, and I'll definitely need to keep it in mind. Actually, it might have come in handy earlier, and while I don't think she'd throw a fit, I was too genial because I wanted to be nice.
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GlyphGryph

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Oh, and likewise, don't force her to do things if there's something more important to her at hand, like a business meeting for example.

More generalized, the advice is still extremely good. Do not set expectations you aren't going to or don't want to keep further down the road.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2012, 10:45:38 am by GlyphGryph »
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Flying Dice

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Spent all morning squeezing key limes to make pie, ate the pulp after.  :D
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Aurora on small monitors:
1. Game Parameters -> Reduced Height Windows.
2. Lock taskbar to the right side of your desktop.
3. Run Resize Enable

Bauglir

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-snip-
I'd just like to add that the same applies if one reverses the genders in this post. People take advantage of people who let them, as a general rule. This is far too not-happy, though.
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

Fenrir

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More generalized, the advice is still extremely good. Do not set expectations you aren't going to or don't want to keep further down the road.
Very like, very like, but I wanted to point out that the example given was not good.
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Itnetlolor

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-snip-
I'd just like to add that the same applies if one reverses the genders in this post. People take advantage of people who let them, as a general rule. This is far too not-happy, though.
Yeah, sorry about that. It was experienced-based; and I do try to craft my advices to be gender neutral as possible (although the phrasing doesn't apply it as much; common terms used).

Well, good luck Joshua, and I hope our advice helps. The non-happy was just me remembering the unfairness I had to face in the past surfacing. Even with the stigma removed (took freaking ages), I was still being forced back into the mold by my peers, siblings (with their advice), and POIs. Pointing out to them that their advice is outdated and yields the opposite of what I wanted (results, positive or negative; I need data I can use), and going about my own methods instead (to have more recent and relevant advice I can give, myself; more for future generations than myself exclusively), tends to be a rather sensitive berserk button for them. But hey, if it works, then I know my time and effort weren't in vain.

Again, best of luck to you.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2012, 10:36:08 am by Itnetlolor »
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Trapezohedron

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More generalized, the advice is still extremely good. Do not set expectations you aren't going to or don't want to keep further down the road.
Very like, very like, but I wanted to point out that the example given was not good.

Yeah, when I posted that, I got a history of hatred and such clogging up my thoughts. I also tend not to make good examples, so there's also that.

But enough of this talk. This isn't exactly happy material.
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Thank you for all the fish. It was a good run.

Aklyon

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Crystalline (SG)
Sigtext
Quote from: RedKing
It's known as the Oppai-Kaiju effect. The islands of Japan generate a sort anti-gravity field, which allows breasts to behave as if in microgravity. It's also what allows Godzilla and friends to become 50 stories tall, and lets ninjas run up the side of a skyscraper.

MaximumZero

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Two things to make a happy relationship: A) Be your own person and B) Treat the SO like another person. Near as I can tell, that's all there is to it. Relationships take a lot of work, but they're worth it in the long run if it makes you happy.
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

Nadaka

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Take me out to the black, tell them I ain't comin' back...
I don't care cause I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me...

I turned myself into a monster, to fight against the monsters of the world.

miauw62

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+1


EDIT:
Passed it on to KAG forums.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2012, 12:57:18 pm by miauw62 »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Phantom of The Library

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That picture is made of win.

That is all.
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Gnosis - Torn Ajar -- Text Suggestion Games.
This is what happens when we randomly murder people.

You get attacked by a Yandere triangle monster.

Solifuge

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So one of my forays into romance has turned successful, what do you know? Turns out: The good morning kiss is the best feeling ever.

I am really glad to hear this. You've already gotten some good advice, but to add to that, I'd say to not worry about whether things will work out, just be the same as you are in the rest of your life, and be sure to stay your own people (don't let it consume too much of your life focus, or too much of hers). Good luck, Josh!
« Last Edit: May 28, 2012, 01:05:23 pm by Solifuge »
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