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Author Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!)  (Read 16175931 times)

Vector

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69795 on: January 23, 2012, 05:07:27 pm »

He's 60 years old or so, Polish, one of the better mathematicians of our time, and grew up in a satellite of the USSR (and then in Russia itself).  So, no, the joke isn't that he doesn't speak English fluently, or that he doesn't spend significant amounts of time playing modern video games--hence the awkward transcript.  He was taking an opportunity to make fun of me when he needed a vocabulary word, and both of us knew it, which made me happy because it signifies a close relationship.

Also, because seriously, he's the only person I know who talks about higher math like he's trying to pull some sort of bank-robbing heist on God.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

olemars

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69796 on: January 23, 2012, 05:13:00 pm »

From today's math class:

Quote
Professor (asking me): What do you call those instruments used by robbers to break into gates?
Me: Lockpicks?
[extremely long, uncomfortable pause in which the professor just kind of stares at me]
Professor: How do you know such terminology?

Around here we call it a Ford Transit...
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Greiger

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69797 on: January 23, 2012, 06:03:53 pm »

From today's math class:

Quote
Professor (asking me): What do you call those instruments used by robbers to break into gates?
Me: Lockpicks?
[extremely long, uncomfortable pause in which the professor just kind of stares at me]
Professor: How do you know such terminology?

Haha and I thought it was bad when my network teacher saw a keyfinder program on my usb stick and asked me what I could possibly use something like that for. 

At least it's possible he never worked with actual clients before, but how does a professor of any subject not think lockpicks are common knowledge?  Even before I played videogames when I was like 8 I knew that locksmiths use them to open locks when keys are lost.
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Disclaimer: Not responsible for dwarven deaths from the use or misuse of this post.
Quote
I don't need friends!! I've got knives!!!

Truean

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69798 on: January 23, 2012, 06:18:10 pm »

From today's math class:

Quote
Professor (asking me): What do you call those instruments used by robbers to break into gates?
Me: Lockpicks?
[extremely long, uncomfortable pause in which the professor just kind of stares at me]
Professor: How do you know such terminology?

Around here we call it a Ford Transit...

The more I hang around here, the more I remember old cases. This one took place at roughly 3 AM. Guy (really couple of guys) lift a metal manhole cover (easily 225 lbs), and place it in a truckbed on top of lots of ball bearings. He then looked at the bank window, backed up the truck to said window, pulled away from said window, put the tailgate down, put the truck in reverse, floored it and slammed the brakes just before the back of the truck hit the bank window.

The truck stopped; the 225 lb metal manhole cover on the other other hand... did not. At least it didn't until the window broke, which was kind of the point.

Turns out the glass for the front lobby is not bulletproof and certainly not manhole cover proof....

Giving new meaning to "smash and grab," if inarticulate, guy forgot to consider how to get into the vault.... Whole thing was on camera, including him bewildered that there didn't seem to be any accessible cash.... However did they catch him...?

[facepalm]
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The kinda human wreckage that you love

Current Spare Time Fiction Project: (C) 2010 http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63660.0
Disclaimer: I never take cases online for ethical reasons. If you require an attorney; you need to find one licensed to practice in your jurisdiction. Never take anything online as legal advice, because each case is different and one size does not fit all. Wants nothing at all to do with law.

Please don't quote me.

Phantom of The Library

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69799 on: January 23, 2012, 06:34:52 pm »

I'm happy to have a test case for my lawyer retainer program working well so far.

Background:
As some of you know, I've been trying to work out the kinks in an attorney retainer system where a person pays a lawyer $50-$100/month for pretty much whatever they need that I'm competent to do (no copyright litigation or antitrust, etc) and doesn't involve a conflict of interest etc. The higher the monthly amount the less the insured pool (people with the policy) would be. So it's like dividing a candy bar 2 ways instead of 3: your piece is bigger. Also it would ideally depend on prior criminal record just like any other type of insurance. Unfortunately there are numerous problems to be solved with this system before I can really do it to scale.

I made one of these contracts last year as a test and finally got called on it. Fine. She paid me $60/month for one year for a total of $720. She had been arrested before/prior criminal history. There are a couple months left on the contract.

The point:
Other attorney rightly pointed out that the legal fees alone would eat the case alive, swallowing all the money at issue and being rather expensive for both our clients. He was trying to get me to settle.

I merely smiled and said I was already paid in full for all services through a full trial. :)
The look on opposing counsel's face was priceless. If I had 11 more like that I'd print a calendar. He laughed at first, mistakenly thinking I was joking. Then he realized I was serious. He couldn't even hide the shock. He was actually afraid, good. The bastard would actually have to work for this one rather than pressure me.

I strongly suspect litigating this matter will easily cost his client, at his $355/hour rate, over $15,000 through trial. I'd say costing the other side $10K in litigation fees or pressuring them to settle very favorably with you for fear of those legal fees is a win in and of itself. Especially for the low fee of $720 and that's for more than just this. If anything happens to her in the next couple months I'll be there.

There are a lot of kinks left in this but if I can work it out, then I might have something here to both make me able to make a living in law, tell the large firm lawyers who look down on me to buzz off, and did I mention win in a whole new way? :P Now to straighten kinks when the damn iron won't work.... [glares at iron].
You my dear friend are an amazing lawyer, and a rarity among your profession.

From today's math class:

Quote
Professor (asking me): What do you call those instruments used by robbers to break into gates?
Me: Lockpicks?
[extremely long, uncomfortable pause in which the professor just kind of stares at me]
Professor: How do you know such terminology?

Haha and I thought it was bad when my network teacher saw a keyfinder program on my usb stick and asked me what I could possibly use something like that for. 

At least it's possible he never worked with actual clients before, but how does a professor of any subject not think lockpicks are common knowledge?  Even before I played videogames when I was like 8 I knew that locksmiths use them to open locks when keys are lost.
I interpreted it as a little joke not a lack of knowledge.
It made me laugh out loud by the way.
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Gnosis - Torn Ajar -- Text Suggestion Games.
This is what happens when we randomly murder people.

You get attacked by a Yandere triangle monster.

freeformschooler

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69800 on: January 23, 2012, 06:57:18 pm »

AT&T is a terrible, terrible company.

Thankfully we've switched so I have Internet again.
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Vector

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69801 on: January 23, 2012, 07:03:40 pm »

Yeah, it was a joke, as I said.  I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually know the English word for "lockpick," but he found the setup irresistible and knew that I wouldn't take it badly (as you can see, he knew I'd know, and then made a joke about it).

*shrog*

I love that dude.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Itnetlolor

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69802 on: January 23, 2012, 08:16:28 pm »

I've taken a couple days off from the internet (also because I had a client I was working with/for for the past week); and during my downtime, I also managed to beat Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow 100% again. Far quicker than last time I played it, at least by a good 5 hours. I was far less stingy about my MP consumption, and knew the right spells to use on the right creatures, and got a few good early spells that made excellent standbys for pretty much the whole game (Ghost is so worth the effort. So many undead units weak to holy, you can pretty much beat the whole game with that spell, until you get Valkyrie and Nightmare (dark magic equivalent); but it's cheap and quite strong for an early spell. Killer Mantle renders the remaining creatures laughable, and hitting the wrong ones, outright nightmares).

It seems I also have a steady stream of work for the rest of the week lined up. Hopefully if I can get an outside contact, I can make better use of my income other than junk food and gas money, and maybe rebuild my social life outside the internet. I noticed things have been starting to go stagnant with my routines lately, and what better opportunity than this to get things started? I'm looking towards meeting with an old co-worker from my last job that's about to get laid off from the recent close-out of the local Food Lion. We shared enough common interests; might make a good contact for going out (social gatherings and such). She did, after all, invite me to hang out with her friends a year or 2 ago so I had something to do for that New Year; turned out quite fun, and they were a rather fun bunch. Enjoyed my company, last I recall. I had other things to deal with at the time (while still working there, and coordination was all wonky), so I never really continued things afterwards. With my freelancing, and her likely finding or having found new work, we can probably coordinate things a little easier in the future.

Who knows, maybe later on, when the weather improves later in the year, I might have some people to go surfing with and so on; or at least, be invited to join in some activities outside hitting the local taverns and bars (though drinking will probably still be involved); like, at least checking out a convention, and see what that's all about or something (I think I recall them mentioning going to a Comic-Con or similar-style conventions. Dressed up, and everything). Try some new things, and maybe knock out a few Sitcom-stereotypes ingrained in my subconscious about such events and so on (at least going to test the waters before diving in). Maybe meet somebody that's single and is a good complement to my personality. All important thing is making the first step in this direction to get things started, at least.

In other news, birthday is coming little over 2 weeks from now. Yet another reason to at least get the first stage over with, at least so that I have someone that I can invite, whatever happens by then (no clue what's planned). In any case, I finally found motivation to 'go out'.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2012, 08:22:40 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Phantom of The Library

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69803 on: January 23, 2012, 09:04:53 pm »

*Thumbs Up*

Good job my dear sir.  Good job.
And a wish for a future continuation of good jobs.

*Sings Seize the Day from the Newsies badly and out of tune*
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Gnosis - Torn Ajar -- Text Suggestion Games.
This is what happens when we randomly murder people.

You get attacked by a Yandere triangle monster.

Angel Of Death

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« Last Edit: January 23, 2012, 09:30:39 pm by Angel Of Death »
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Lectorog

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69805 on: January 23, 2012, 10:32:13 pm »

What player is it?
Sorry for responding so late. It's a Sansa Fuze, if you still care. (The original, not the Fuze+)
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Reudh

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69806 on: January 23, 2012, 10:34:20 pm »

Woo yeah 70k!

And I'm applying for jobs like crazy! Nothing like job applications to make you feel good about yourself.

freeformschooler

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69807 on: January 23, 2012, 10:36:50 pm »

This is the best voice acting I've ever heard. I want to know this guy in real life just to be able to hear his voice regularly.
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Scaraban

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69808 on: January 23, 2012, 10:38:57 pm »

This is the best voice acting I've ever heard. I want to know this guy in real life just to be able to hear his voice regularly.
Yeah, Duke is the best.
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Reudh

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Re: [>゜))))彡] [>゜))))彡]The fish has been doubled! (Happy Thread)
« Reply #69809 on: January 23, 2012, 10:56:53 pm »

It was only a matter of time before the Poptart Tragedy hit the forums.

GURL STOPS MEKING OUT N ASKS BOI TO GET POPTARTZ.
HE DUS.
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