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I don't know if I can say I'm happy so much as satisfied, but I've discovered that I can now process caffeine well enough to have a nice hot cup of tea in the morning with breakfast, and still be able to think straight. Plus, I made what seems to be a delicious dinner (combined a couple of rice recipes to excellent effect, and also cooked a can of chickpeas), cleaned about half of the house, and managed to get most of the dishes backlog done.
I'm even energized without feeling manic or jumpy. I think that the difference is that somehow, my experiences over the past months have left me feeling like I'll be able to survive the adult world. I even seem to have gotten over most of the personality damage I incurred over previous parts of my life--no more feeling of being a sinking rowboat, lost at sea. No more horrible nightmares, no particular fear of failure, no persistent worry for the future of the world or my place in it. I'm still strongly considering never dating again, but that doesn't seem like too much of a bad thing.
At the same time, though, I can feel the next level I have to reach if I'm to succeed. I don't know what it entails yet, but at the very least I can sense it, as though I had my hands on it and were just struggling to pull myself up. Same thing for a lot of other things I've been trying to improve, from math to time management to goodness knows what else. I'm so very close, and soon enough I will have surpassed myself again. It's a very exciting feeling, not because I'm jonesing for a competitive fix, but because I think the next round of changes will leave me even calmer and happier, and more able to do what needs doing.
Oh, and I have a sense of smell now.
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Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!) (Read 16298919 times)