Resident Evil: Afterlife.
The movie started with 100 cloned psionic ninja ballerinas, storming Umbrella Corp's "super-high-tech" Japanese Underground Zombie Lab, where Big Bad Evil Guy was perfecting a strain of biological weapon for... actually I'm not sure if they had a motivation anymore. Every country had disintegrated, zombies had overrun the world, and there was no economy to speak of, yet they were still perfecting biological weapons for use on nobody, with no military left to sell it to, and for no money. In fact, why were his hundreds of minions even working for the Corporation? Were they that afraid that survivors might start up a rival Biological Weapons company and steal the market from under them?
Anyway, the Big Bad Evil Guy shoots some of his minions, some of the last surviving humans on the planet, unprovoked to prove how much of a cold and calculating badass he is, and the heroine and her magic clone army striving to save the human race goes around killing them as well (and later wonders why she can't find any survivors. Gee, Ms. Stabhappy, I wonder). Evil Guy flies away out of the underground facility on his emergency helicopter ("They laughed when I told them we needed a Helicopter underground... oh how they laughed!"), and nukes the base and all its occupants with a secret Ultima Bomb. The Heroine's Alpha Clone, however, stowed away on the escape copter (she must be prescient too), and attacks Big Bad. He apparently came expecting her as well (he's also prescient), and steals her psionic ninja superpowers with one of the many viruses he's perfected (no doubt for use on protagonists), and then proceeds to forget he was flying the copter and crashes into a mountain at 100 miles per hour. Though both of them weren't strapped into anything, she makes it out with a few scrapes, while the plane was literally reduced to a burning streak of charred metal.
And that's just the first 10 minutes. There were wet T-Shirt fight scenes with Hulking Superzombies, armed with specially made Meat-Tenderizer Axes (In this post-apocalyptic world, who makes equipment for the zombies I wonder?), Zombies that can apparently bore through solid bedrock with their hands, slam dunks by Token Black Characters, and more. So much more.
It was a Masturpeace of Sinema.
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Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!) (Read 16192568 times)