Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: I love you. Really. I love you. <3 I will send you my nudes. Do you want them?
You: DO YOU HAVE NUDES?
Stranger: okey Mr:jameson
You: PICTURES?
You: NUDE PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN?
You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger: okay sir
You: WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?
Stranger: i;m; sorry
Stranger: what have i done?!?!
Stranger: what pictures?
You: DAMMIT PARKER
Stranger: :S
Stranger: i'm sorry sir
You: GET THOSE PHOTOS AND DONT COME BACK TILL YOU DO!
Stranger: i'm sorry
Stranger: they're gone
Stranger: i threw them out the window
You: WTF PARKER
You: YOUR FIRED!
Stranger: no i'm not
Stranger: b.c
Stranger: I'M SPIDERMAN BITCH!!!
You: PARKER!!!!!!!!
You: SHUT UP AND GET THOSE PHOTOS
Stranger: yo bitch check this out *sploosh* look at that... spidey web out my wrist right there.. check ito ut!
Stranger: HA
Stranger: got you speechless now!!
Stranger: you want your damn photos!
Stranger: how about a raise?
Stranger:
You: PARKER
You: GO TO HELL
Stranger: hey, how are yah?
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
You: I NEED PICTURES
Stranger: cool, yah same here.
You: PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
Stranger: Here is a pic of me [image link removed] do you think i'm hot?
Stranger: shoot, ma roomate is beingg weird! If you want u can add me asa friend and send me a msg at [link removed] I has a few nudez uploaded there and ma cell #
You: GODDAMN IT PARKER STOP TWIDDLING YOUR THUMBS AND GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: hohoho
Stranger: im santa :3
You: WHAT THE-
You: PARKER ARE YOU HIGH AGAIN??!!!!
Stranger:
You: I DON'T HAVE THIS FOR THIS GODDAMNED BULLSHIT PARKER, GET ME THOSE PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
Stranger: ...
Stranger: umm
Stranger: have the men in white coats been yet?
Stranger: Hey there!
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: What's up? WOAH!
You: I NEED PICTURES, PARKER
Stranger: I was chilled up until that... MARY JAAAANE!
You: I HAVE A FRONT PAGE TO RUN IN NINE HOURS WITH NO PICTURES!
You: STOP YELLING ABOUT THAT GIRL YOU MARRIED BUT DIDN'T
Stranger: THIS IS TERRIBLE GRAMMAR!
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
You: AND GET ME SNAPSHOTS OF THAT WALL-CRAWLING MENACE
You: PARKER I DON'T PAY YOU TO COPY EDIT
Stranger: OOOOH KINY
You: I HAVE OTHER PEOPLE I DON'T PAY TO DO THAT
Stranger: KINKY** FUCK
Stranger: D:
You: WHAT? KINKY PHOTOS OF SPIDER-MAN?
Stranger: KISS ME
You: PERFECT!
Stranger: NO
Stranger: ~!!!!!
You: "WEB-SLINGING PERVERT CAUGHT ON FILM!"
Stranger: THIS WAVY LINE IS SERIOUS
Stranger: NOW THAT THAT'S ALL SORTED
You: "HEROIC PUBLISHER RAILS AGAINST SUPER-SMUT!"
You: BRILLIANT, PARKER!
Stranger: ...what are you wearing? ;_
Stranger:
You: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT
You: JUST HAND OVER THE PICTURES AND GO HOME, PARKER
Stranger: I'M TRYING TO GET INTO THE MIND OF THE PERVERT
Stranger: THINKING LIKE THE PERVERT
Stranger: YOU KNOW?!
You: PARKER YOU DON'T NEED TO THINK
You: YOU NEED TO TAKE PICTURES
Stranger: AGGGHHHHH MY AUNT IS DEAD
Stranger: FUCKING BALLS
Stranger: D: OK
Stranger: LOVE YOU
Stranger: hey
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
You: I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO NOT BRING ME PICTURES
Stranger: coming, coming
You: PARKER, YOU PROMISED ME SHOTS OF THAT WEB-SPINNING MENACE
Stranger: you know jameson, youre a a dick
You: A SUCCESSFUL DICK, PARKER
You: YOU DON'T GET TO THE TOP BY BEING NICE
You: NOW WHERE ARE MY PICTURES
Stranger: im busy fucking kirsten dunst... err.. .i mean mary jane
You: I DON'T PAY YOU TO HAVE SEX, PARKER
You: I HAVE OTHER PEOPLE I PAY FOR THAT
Stranger: i hate you jameson
Stranger: i really do
You: THE FEELING'S MUTUAL, KID
You: NOW GO OUT AND GET ME SOME PICTURES OR YOU'RE FIRED
Stranger: fine! i QUIT
Stranger: Rah rah
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
You: I NEED PICTURES
Stranger: I'm sorry, I'm Lady Gaga.
You: PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
You: GODDAMN IT PARKER STOP CROSS DRESSING
Stranger: But it's so fun
You: GET ME MY PICTURES NOW
Stranger: Alright...
Stranger: Spiderman?
You: YES
You: SPIDER
You: MAN
You: GET THEM NOW AND DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT THEM
Stranger: Alright....
Stranger: [image link of spiderman]
Stranger: There you go, sir.
Stranger: Straight from google.
You: DAMN IT PARKER, I DON'T PAY YOU TO.....oh shit wait
You have disconnected.
Me : PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger : PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE!