Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Pnx]

It's hard to explain what happened, but I'll try to simplify so it sounds less like some sort of Soviet strike plan.

Here is an example of how our relationship worked: I went to visit him at college over the summer, which was a 3-hour train ride each direction.  I was late by 20 minutes one time not through any fault of my own, but because the trains were running late; they were so packed that it was standing room only, and I had a bad back and a heavy bag, so it was pretty painful.  He ran down the hill to see me because he'd been running late that morning (this run takes less than 10 minutes).  When I got there, he showed no happiness whatsoever to see me, sulked, refused to hold my hand, and told me he was never hurrying to see me again, because I lacked commitment equal to his.

Anyway, this sort of passive-aggressive bullshit went on for eight months.  Then I left, and unluckily for me he decided that the breakup needed to be as unpleasant as possible, too.  So he's been putting his ignore powers on maximum for the past four months, good for him >_>  It's annoying because this is the treatment he specifically gives evil people, i.e. people who have confessed to sexual assault.

It's been... really complicated, to say the least.  I kind of wish sometimes that I'd just held it together until graduation.

Yeesh, from the sounds of things I probably wouldn't have been able to put up with him anywhere near that long, I can pretty bullshit intolerant. It still sort of sounds like some kind of crazy and dumb political situation though. Well, here's hoping things get better for you once perestroika is over.

[JoshuaFH]

For the name origin thing:

Joshua = Boobs

I'm just not sure of anything anymore.

[Solifuge]

-poit-

This is the guy that kicked off the cavalcade of bullcrap you went through back in the day? If so, there's a distinct possibility he's just a horrible, petty person who fancies himself some kind of puppetmaster, and gets his kicks by exerting influence or control over others, especially when he can do so and escape the consequences. You must be a very forgiving person... I don't think I could associate with him at all any more, save for in a very limited and functional way.

Anyway, chiming in with the Welcome Back party. It's always good to have you around, and I'm glad to hear good things are happening for you, even if it's tiresome. Also, I dated an English Major for a minute; she was about 10 times more hip than I (granted that's no great feat), and dragged me on as a judge for a poetry slam, showed me a lot of neat under-the-radar spots downtown, and we had many great times. If I were to recommend dating material based on major-prejudice alone, I'd totally say give it a shot.

(P.S. That is precisely the reaction I had when my friend introduced me to Adventure Time. Still have yet to catch Gravity Falls though... another one I've heard good things about.)

[Euld]

Oh god I can't stop laughing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Mulan: "I never asked for this."

[Vector]

Naw, this is the most recent boyfriend.  I've had two.  If the first one never talked to me again, I'd understand.  This guy, I wouldn't mind it either if it were just that he's hurt and doesn't want to talk, but it bugs me because he's decided I need to be punished.  He doesn't act nervous around me, but rather offended that I exist.

I kinda... man, that whole cavalcade of bullcrap period was so complicated that I barely even see myself as the same person anymore.  I don't fully understand the decisions she made, or why she made them, or even how she followed through on some of the crazy crap she pulled: she's alien.  I realize that I sound similar on the net and I have a sameish sense of humor, but we're quite different.  The parts of her mind I can still touch, my memories of her, seem nearly impossible--I end up wondering how that could happen, and how things could ever get anywhere near that bad.

Forgiveness is easy from that point of view.  I have a hard time hating people, in any case.  I get upset, but usually all I want is for them to stop.


And yeah, I've generally decided that I'm done with the super-techy people for a while.  I don't really want another round of that.  Current best projection is that I end up with some sort of artist househusband.  I'd be more than happy paying the bills if it meant getting someone who cooked me dinner and did the shopping, made the house beautiful, and preferably had some social skills.  I'd hope I could get away with doing some of the cleaning.  Seriously.  I've had enough housewife-training to know that I'd WAY prefer being the worker bee, and my personality is much better-suited for it, too.

[Xantalos]

It's been a while since I made a friend. I'd forgotten what it feels like.
~Do you believe in magic
In an evil god's heart
How the music can free it whenever it starts~

[SalmonGod]

I don't really want another round of that.  Current best projection is that I end up with some sort of artist househusband.  I'd be more than happy paying the bills if it meant getting someone who cooked me dinner and did the shopping, made the house beautiful, and preferably had some social skills.  I'd hope I could get away with doing some of the cleaning.  Seriously.  I've had enough housewife-training to know that I'd WAY prefer being the worker bee, and my personality is much better-suited for it, too.

I'm the total opposite of this.  I've been telling my wife for years that we desperately need to switch roles.  She's horrible at patience with kids and being self-motivated without a lot of structure or presence of authority, where I excel at those things.  I am horrible at coping with 8 hours a day in a workplace, focused on a single task, surrounded by people for long periods of time that I can't excuse myself from at leisure, and overwhelmed by rules and politics.  She would excel at it.

Going to be pushing hard for some changes after she graduates in a couple months.  I don't know how she'll take it, but it needs to happen.  We've both been breaking down badly lately.  I don't know how much longer things can keep going this way.

[Bauglir]

What I would not give to be on the husbanding end of that kind of arrangement, but the only thing I'm worse at than keeping livingspaces beautiful is social skills. There is as good a chance as any that I'd wind up half-assing it by strewing the place about with flowers to make it superficially smell nice, and then only cleaning once every couple of months while I spend all day slacking off and/or working on games I only think I are solid ideas because I don't have the time in my current lifestyle to dedicate to properly exploring them and discovering the problems. >______________>

Food, though. That one I've got a pretty solid lock on, provided I can find somebody on the adventuresome side.

[MaximumZero]

Girlfriend and I have a weird dynamic along that vein. She enjoys doing all the things that I hate doing around the house: dishes, folding laundry, etc. I enjoy doing all the things she hates: actually washing the clothes (seriously, this is the easy part. The apartment has a washer and dryer!) vacuuming, stuff like that. I don't particularly care who the breadwinner is, so long as the bills are paid. She makes enough money to pay all of the bills and then some. After I graduate, I should be able to help with that. We both cook, we both paint, and we both game. It's a pretty sweet setup.

[Pnx]

Somehow I think V here isn't gonna have a lot of trouble finding people willing to fill that role. This is sort of an interesting aspect to consider, I've never really thought about possible romance/long term relationships in terms of household dynamics/ying-yang and such before. I guess I'd be on the more passive side, but I dunno, it might be easier to answer the question of "What kind of person would I like to be with" after I've addressed the more pressing issue of "What kind of person am I?"

[Vector]

See, I am pretty damn patient with certain kinds of problems (kids: A-OK!) but I am not patient with boredom, and to me food and home decoration is boring.  I'm like "Okay, I figured out how to make that dish to perfection--wait, we're going to make it again?  WHY?  There are easier, faster ways to solve the hunger-problem!"  I can deal with people telling me to do the same thing over and over, because that falls under the I'm Being Useful Clause.  I can't deal with me telling myself to do the same thing over and over.  That feels like I'm going crazy.

Ideally that person would have a workroom completely and utterly to themselves so they could work on whatever project they wanted most of the time, never clean it unless they wanted to or it was a major health hazard, etc.  I really like things plain and simple, mostly the same--so if that person made beautiful things for himself all day and then cooked me dinner and helped me feel good about life, that would basically be worth the investment.  I don't need the place to look new and ~different~ all the time; I'm not crazy about manufactured stuff.  I just want a comfy chair to read in and a nice rug, and once and a while, a completed project to admire.  Someone who loves me and is happy to see me home.  I want the pleasure of a brain that's wired opposite of mine, because my brain is the sort that easily accommodates mindless suffering but then has a hard time figuring out that whole smelling the flowers thing.

I'm... super-pragmatic, and I discovered recently that I get relatively little happiness from self-started hedonistic activities.  Rather, working hard and growing is what makes me happy, and specifically, deadlines really help.  I hate spending money; I compulsively save.  So if I found someone who really, really wanted to make art or, hell, just walk around the park thinking some days or whatever, and then would drag me out to a concert or something once in a while, I think I'd be pretty happy.

Why don't you just go to a museum, you ask?  Because to me, somehow, the "mine-ness" is central to this.  I like the idea of someone creating things, partially with me in mind.

[penguinofhonor]

Oh man, I'm going to need to be in a relationship with someone who specifically likes cleaning. I'll do everything but scrub floors, vacuum, and clean dishes. I love cooking, taking out the garbage is easy, doing laundry is easy, getting groceries is great, and pretty much everything else is completely tolerable. I'll even empty the dishwasher out as long as I don't have to load it up.

I've never realized I can so easily divide what I'd want to do and what I wouldn't. I guess because I've only lived with multiple people at once, so the divisions weren't as clear.

[SalmonGod]

I gotta admit.  I would suck at the cooking part.  My attitude towards food is when I'm hungry enough that I can no longer ignore it to grab the most easily obtainable thing at the time almost completely regardless of what it is.  I have almost no cooking skills.  Willing to learn, though, whenever it becomes necessary for me to do so.

[Reudh]

I personally don't mind cleaning. I find it annoying, but it's good to get it done.

[alway]

I take the industrial approach to cleaning. Wait until there is enough to do that the cleaning needs to be mass produced. Usually involving several bags of trash. :3