My life seems to be falling together nicely. I'm going to take intensive Russian and number theory this summer, possibly do research, and maybe work as a grader for a course. The math department loves me >_> But then, I love them back. All of them. The grouchy professors, the young ones, the really creepy 50-year-old woman who doesn't look a day over 25, the ones that walk away without saying goodbye, the ones that keep you for hours after class, the ones that bow, the ones that shout, the ones that smile, the ones that make sexist comments. I love their impossible accents and abuses of language; their outrageous sayings and their cold demeanors. They are my family, my friends, my guardians. More than ever, over and over again, I realize this. Somehow, impossibly, unimaginably, they have mobilized to protect me and do what they can to keep a smile on my face.
Just a little bit ago, I thought no one cared. How things have changed...
It's good that I'll be taking summer courses, because with neither Rosewood nor Aspen around, I'd have to spend the summer completely alone. I'm not willing to do that, if at all possible. So my parents have said that I'm probably allowed to live with an acquaintance from high school who attends my university (this is a big deal, since we don't have all that much money and the two rents + courses will be expensive. It's already something of a stretch to send me to a university this good).
Oh, and my mom is trying to fatten me up >_< It's nice to be on the other side of that, for once. It's kind of hard on me right now, because I can barely eat and I've already lost so much weight over the past month or two that I shiver even when I'm wearing a coat. This is especially notable because I used to walk around during winter in shorts and a tanktop without feeling the chill at all.
I don't know. Life is just too hard. I wish I could make all this go away. I've had a solid streak of bad luck for... what, 20 years. I'm waiting for the part where my constant effort makes life enjoyable for once.