I am a complete idiot.
In the largest case I've ever had.... Today, I "found," but really was offered $100,000 cash to withdraw as counsel from a case. I don't even carry cash in my wallet anymore, so seeing 1000 $100 dollar bills is a little rare. Moreover, that's a significant portion of my law school debt-- years of student loan payments, not to mention the interest saved and being "tax free." They may have heard about my possibly changing careers to financial analysis and inferred some financial troubles.... They are unfortunately correct on that point.
I took the money, took a moment, photographed it, had the secretary double count it in my office, and then left it with the police. I suppose I should've never taken it in the first place, but this way they don't get it back.... I somehow don't think I'll get it back, or that the people who sent it to me will claim it.... I think I just helped solve the city's budget problems....
$100,000. I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered. They can't buy me, but if they're trying to, then I must be getting to them. Unfortunately, I don't think I can link it to opposing counsel conclusively, or else I'd clearly be filing a complaint against him with the bar. However, this whole thing reeks of him. My boss is upset with me, allegedly because I didn't tell him about it first, but I suspect other reasons.... Moreover, I somehow doubt any of this will come out in court given that its not admissible in the case.... No one will really appreciate it. I'd heard of things like this happening, but I never really believed any of it.
I am a complete idiot. I'm a complete fucking idiot....
Secretary, "I'm sorry I ever thought people like you were immoral.... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're not" She always was a clever one. She knows how I really am, she's probably known for some time, and I don't think she'll say anything.